Writing Between The Lines

Half Grain of Salt

2006-11-12T04:03:00.000-08:00

The rise of the internet has taken freedom of speech to a whole new level in America. Instead of mortals being presented two or three outlets by which to form an opinion about a particular subject, we are presented with tens if not hundreds of them. The diversity of these sources can prove to be great for those who seek to gain multiple perspectives on a single issue that may lend itself to a broader problem in society that needs to be addressed.

But with the rise of the internet, and with the rise of blogs in particular, a damning problem has quickly emerged - the warping of the American mind.

Instead of writing clearly written, objective, and accurately cited articles , bloggers throughout the internet world have assured the passage of oftentimes false history: history that is oftentimes not cited, but is all too often believed to be true by the unknowing and by those who feel the opinion of the writer fits their beliefs.

And it is getting out of hand.

For instance, last week while sitting at a restaurant I overheard an older couple talking about the War in Iraq. According to these people, per a blog they read, "President Bush is doing little to squash the violence in Iraq because, the less Iraqis there exist in the country, the more oil wealth Americans will acquire." By listening to these people, one may think Iraq will become Ameica's 51st state in the very near future.

We also see this problem in our young people. Go to any college campus today and you may be fascinated with the jaded opinions spewing from young people's mouth instilled in them by college professors, propaganda, and clubs advocating activism for stupidity. Talk to a student at the University of Maryland and you may think President George W. Bush is responsible for world hunger. Travel to Hillsdale College in Michigan and you may drive away with the impression that the Democratic Party seeks to drag America into the eternal inferno.

This type of behavior is going on in High School's throughout America as well. My fiances's little brother attends Baltimore Polytechnic High School. During the most recent September 11th Memorial Ceremony his English Professor stunned everybody in the audience to include the Principal, when he began rattling off his own political views about the War on Terror. This professor was reprimanded for his actions but it goes to show how some zealous people can be when it comes to spreading the word of the God of Politics.

Can this be stopped? Absolutely not because the First Amendment protects freedom of speech.

But this does not mean that one cannot become more educated in pursuing opinions of bloggers, many of which do not have insight into what is truly going on within the government to include intelligence agencies, nor insight into what is truly going on with the troops in Afghanistan, Iraq and abroad.

In other words, with regards to internet sources and blogging, it is essential to take the words of agenda seeking mortal with a half-grain of salt.

Troops Response to Michigan's Affirmative Action Decision

2006-11-09T13:41:00.000-08:00

During the course of the past few months, I have remained completely silent, casually monitoring the unfolding battle between the Michigan Civil Rights Initiative (MCRI) and the One United Michigan (OUM) campaign.

I have also watched in embarrassment, the spewing of propaganda by the Klu Klux Klan and By Any Means Necessary (BAMN) campaigns, as well as the physical and verbal intimidation and usage of manipulation of the masses on both sides of the Affirmative Action aisle.

But tonight, the same night mortals native to Michigan have finally realized the fate of Affirmative Action in the state of Michigan, I am going to break my silence.

One of the greatest domestic products this beautiful nation called America exports to the rest of the world is the ideal that, for the most part, any person -- regardless of race, color, sex or creed -- can, through hard work, proper utilization of resources, and with a smidgeon of good luck, climb from the ashes of poverty to the pinnacle of the mountain of achievement.

On the flip side of the coin, one of the most damning products our nation globally exports is the undeniable truth that our nation's history is laden with vivid examples of racism, bigotry, and inequality.

It was this negative product that mortals like Martin Luther King Jr., Robert Kennedy, Homer Plessy and thousands of others diligently attempted to change during the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s.

Evidence to support this claim lies in MLK's own words, for while giving a speech to thousands of supporters from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on August 28, 1963 he said:

"I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

Born from MLK's aformentioned words as well as from the blood, sweat and tears of thousands of others was an architecture of governmental programs designed to improve quality of life for, as the inscription on the Statue of Liberty States, "...your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."

It was these programs that, at that time in history, attempted to assure the ideals listed in the Preamble of the Constitution - ideals such as establishing justice, insuring domestic tranquility, providing for the common defense, promoting the general welfare, and securing the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.

More than 45 years later, after much heated debate, the fate of these programs rested in the hands of Michigan voters. And in the end, at least for now, it seems that MCRI has emerged victorious on the battlefield of equality.

However, upon second and third and subsequent thought, after witnessing wreckless and shameful post-election venom spewing from the mouths, pens, and fingertips of Michiganders via numerous blogs attached to scandalous newspaper articles, I have come to the conclusion that nobody tied to this situation has won.

On the contrary, this whole situation has further deteriorated Michigan's already brittle reputation as, amongst other things, a racially divided state.

As it is a sheer and utter shame.

During my seven plus career in the Armed Forces I have been exposed to, have embraced, and have been enbraced by many service men and women of different races, cultures, religions and creeds.

Furthermore, my comrades and I, in less politically correct terms, collaborate to deal with those wretched mortals who ruthlessly oppress, persecute, rape and murder others simply because their own racial, cultural, or religious views did not match theirs.

Why do we do have to do this?

Because we do not live in a utopian world.

Nor do we live in a utopian nation.

Nor do Michiganders live in a utopian state.

The abolition of Affirmative Action would be great in a suddenly utopian society; a place where mortals have truly reached an understanding regarding the beauty of diversity and race, color, creed, sex, and religion in schools and in the workplace.

However, Michigan is by no means a utopian society, for as stated earlier, the state has many issues regarding racism and sexism that must be openly discussed without violence and further segregaton before true progression can be achieved.

This statement is not based upon sheer opinion. It is based on personal experiences. For few of many example, I met my fiance nearly three years ago while stationed on an Army post in Maryland.

Since that time we have traveled to Michigan together three times to visit family and friends. During every single visit we, regardless of whether we visit Detroit or its suburbs, encounter people who stare and mutter racist comments simply because a "cracker" happens to be holding hands with a "porch monkey." To show how ignorant the people who make these comments are, my fiance is a West Indian from Trinidad and Tobago, which is 7 nautical miles from the South American nation of Venezuela. But this fact didn't stop these people from making comments.

Nor did it stop a few people I considered to be friends from offending and putting my fiance and I in a sticky situation by hurling racial slurs at a Middle Eastern man and African American man in a parking lot across the street from St. Andrews night club in downtown Detroit this past summer.

While my fiance and I have learned to rise above this assenine behavior, these examples go to show that Michigan, like many other places in this nation still overtly and covertly wreaks of racism.

While it is true that Michigan tolerates other cultures, it at this point has not embraced them.

And until this changes, Michigan needs to continue to use affirmative action as a crutch to keep its sprained legs of racism and bigotry walking towards progression.

In other words, while striving towards selecting students and employees on merit is certainly a noble endeavor, the banning of affirmative action does not take into account the dark desire of many racist and bigotrous human beings to turn the clock back to the turbulent times when people like King and Kennedy roamed this Earth.

Thy Rod and Thy Staff

2006-11-09T13:39:00.000-08:00

Written Saturday November 4th, 2006.

Twas the night before verdict,
Of infamous tyrant,
And all through the world,
Restless Mortals stand silent,

Waiting to see if High Tribunal,
Living in Cradle of Civilization,
Will make monumental Decision,
To ship Hussein to eternal damnation.

Some of these mortals standing by,
Belong to brave and resolute coalition,
Of men and women from forty five nation,
Who together tonight are prepared to defy,

The will of thousands of soulless cowards,
Still loyal to Hussein and his dominion,
Who hour by this hour are toiling to devour,
The will of Iraqi PM Maliki and his coalition.

Together these wretches too stand by waiting,
Ready to ignite bloody Shi'a/Sunni Civil War,
Ready to slay enlightened with bomb-laden car,
Ready to sway minds of American Citizens wading,

In treacherous waters of democratic confusion,
To vote for those who promised the extraction,
Of American troops from the very same nation,
We recklessly abandoned decades before.

So tonight while Maliki and Company urges calm,
While American President and Company does the same,
And while brave souls stand guard without fanfare or fame

I challenge you to heed the words of famous psalm:

"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever."

Rebuttal to Mike Shinoda's Where'd You Go Lyrics

2006-06-03T16:22:00.000-07:00

Background: Mike Shinoda, MC for the band Linkin Park slash new hip-hop artist for Fort Minor wrote a new song and created a video titled Where’d You Go? In this song, Shinoda tries to addresses a societal issue regarding certain types of men (military members, professional athletes, and those separated/divorced) and how their lack of existence in the household damages families. As a military member, this song struck a chord with me because it undermines the strength of millions of women (and men) whom carry on the mission of raising families while their husbands (and wives) are away at war. I suggest before reading my rebuttal of Shinoda’s beat, I suggest you watch the video for yourself at http://www.myspace.com/fortminor:

Rebuttal to Mike Shinoda’s Where’d You Go Lyrics

I have no choice but to rebuke you for your Where’d You Go lyrics.

Quite frankly your ignorance through music and video sank my spirits;

Well at least for a minute or so, but then I got to thinkin,

You’re just another talkin head for Michael Moore and a band called Linkin.

I was a big fan of yours before I saw the video related to this song,

But now all my respect for you is gone.

You’ve crossed the line and now its time,

For me to start spittin without tryin to make a dime.

You say in the song that some days she feels like shit,

And some days she just wants to quit and be normal for a bit.

You say she don’t understand why he always has to be gone,

And that she gets along but his trips always feel so long.

Where here’s a newsflash you won’t like hearin,

Here’s a little truth to crush your jeerin;

About the plight and loneliness faced by women and children,

Associated with men whose careers involve travelin and fightin.

The same women you are catering to make million money a few,

Are the same women who know what they are getting into,

When they hop aboard the love boat with men setting sail,

For hellish lands where bombs and bodies fall like hail,

And for fields where athletes like tickets are always for sale.

You speak in a woman’s opinion saying, “it’s a little fucked up that,

I’m stuck here waiting, at times debatin,

Telling you that I’ve had it with you and your career;

Me and the rest of the family are here,”

Well I hate to break this news to you Mr. Mike Shinoda,

Your argument is flip flap dipody dop dumb dumb dada.

For you to say that family problems in this country,

Are generated by defenders of freedom serving this country,

And by athletes who make very good, family providing money,

Makes you look nothing more than a money mongering dummy.

Are these men gone from home for long periods of time? Absolutely.

Does their lack of presence create hardship for families? Damn skippy.

Does the military do all it can to take care of dependents during War?

For the answer to this question Fort Minor call the Public Affairs at Ft. Belvior.

All your lyrics do is insult the toughness of millions of women who usually find a way,

To take care of family business while their men are away.

And insult the toughness of thousands of men who often do the same,

While their woman fight in combat without fanfare or fame.

With Freedom of Speech comes Freedom of Rebuttal.

City of Champions Awaits the Lions

2006-05-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

During the course of the past half-dime seasons, the Detroit Red Wings, Pistons and Shock have consistently blessed the City of Champions with excellent play on its respective fields of battle. Since 2001, Steve Yzerman and Co. achieved an astounding 205-74-39 regular season record and earned one Stanley Cup Championship, Chauncey Billups and Co. accumulated an impressive 254-156 regular season record and earned an NBA Title, and Bill Laimbeer and Co., although struggling to find its identity during the ‘01-‘02 seasons, bounced back to win the 2003 WNBA Championship.

And now, as June lurks on the horizon, Jim Leyland and the Tigers not only boast the best record in baseball (35-15) but it also leads the majors in pitching for the first time since 1984 when Sparky Anderson and Co. won the World Series. While it is true there are plenty of games to be played, leaving time for many things to happen, it is good to see the Motor City giddily excited to watch baseball for the first time in more than an decade.

This leaves the Detroit Lion franchise. During the past five NFL campaigns this always-underachieving laughingstock has accumulated an abysmal record of 21-59.

The Lion organization seemed to hit rock bottom last season when, after missing the playoffs for the eighth straight season, thousands of Lion fans expressed its displeasure with owner William Clay Ford Jr. and General Manager Matt Millen by staging street marches, launching sign waving protests inside Ford Field during home games, and even going as far as wearing the opposing teams colors in an effort to provoke change in leadership and direction of the franchise.

Shortly after the disappointing season ended, Ford Jr. responded, not by firing Millen as many Detroiters desired, but by firing Steve Mariucci and most of his staff and hiring hard-nosed, long time Tampa Bay Buccaneers assistant coach Rod Marinelli. Ford also hired St. Louis Rams Super Bowl winning offensive guru Mike Martz and Baltimore Ravens Super Bowl winning defensive specialist Donnie Henderson.

In the brute opinions of many in Motown, Marinelli, Martz and Henderson have absolutely no excuses for failing to turn this talent loaded but discipline lacking franchise around quickly. The way things are looking now these three men are doing all they can to accomplish this feat.

Marinelli and Co. seems to have brought toughness, a sense of urgency, and a no-excuses mentality with them to Motown. But as refreshing as these characteristics may seem, Lion fans have heard tough pre-season talk and walk before from each and every one of Marinelli’s predecessors.

At this point to Lion fans, talk is cheap. Action is paramount.

In other words, it is imperative that Marinelli and Co. quickly reverse the engines on its football ship heading towards the Port of Peril, change course, and head towards the same city as its Motown counterparts – the City of Champions.

And they must do it quickly before their ship runs out of fuel, rusts beyond repair and sinks to the bottom of the ocean of eternal hideousness.

Time for the Pistons to Part Ways With Rasheed Wallace

2006-05-28T07:15:00.000-07:00

Rasheed Wallace's display of abysmal behavior during last nights 98-83 loss to the Miami Heat should serve as grounds for dismissal from the Pistons once the season is over.

Fox Sports columnist Charley Rosen, best explained Wallace's all too common behavior :

"The only Piston who was true to form was R. Wallace — and only because he reverted to his psycho-mode. He was so upset about not getting sufficient post-up opportunities that during a second-quarter timeout, he sat on the scorer's table while, 30-feet away, the rest of his teammates gathered around Flip Saunders. Shortly thereafter, when Rasheed was summoned to the bench after picking up his second foul, he angrily waved off his coach's proffered hand. When he finally took his seat, Wallace complained to a teammate about the injustice of being yanked so early with so few fouls. Then, just before the second half commenced, Rasheed loudly cursed the referees."

As many NBA and Piston fans alike recognize, Wallace's behavior was not a once in a while phenomenon - it is an everyday phenomenon.

And while other Piston players will not publicly admit it, Wallace, with both his behavior and sketchy play, is serving as a weak link on a Championship caliber team.

And it is time Piston owner Bill Davidson, whom is the same person that canned Larry Brown when Brown's selfish behavior and personal agenda, nearly led to the early demise of the defending champions last season, to begin seeking trades for Wallace before he divides and conquers and damages the Pistons beyond repair.

Davidson certainly has many options.

Minnesota Timberwolves superstar Kevin Garnett has already expressed his frustration with his subpar team, and has great respect for his former coach Flip Saunders. Trading Garnett to Detroit for Wallace along with Carlos Delfino to reconnect him with Saunders would make sense. Garnett would not only slip right into Wallace's forward position alongside Tayshaun Prince, but he would also bring consistency to both ends of the hardwood but without consistently childlike behavior to include barking at the officials.

If a trade for Garnett does not work out, Antonio McDyess, who has seemed to return to greatness after suffering a potential career ending knee injury, could slip into Wallace's position as the starter and subsequently open the door for a multitude of other trades for a player or players possessing solid three-point shooting ability. This would also open the door for promising Cincinatti alumini Jason Maxiell, ie Baby Ben Wallace, and California standout Amir Johnson to earn some playing time for the Pistons.

The options for Wallace are endless.

And if Davidson and Piston President of Basketball Operations Joe Dumars were smart - which they are - they would begin to look into trading Wallace before he rips apart the very core that he helped accentuate upon his arrival in the Motor City.

Because if Davidson and Dumars do not strike to control Wallace, especially after last nights adolescent behavior, or trade him at seasons end, the legacy that is this Piston team, will forever be tarnished.

James M. Morisette covers the Detroit Pistons for RealGm. He can be contacted at jamesmorisette@yahoo.com

Grievance With Fox Sports Network

2006-05-27T08:06:00.000-07:00

During the course of the past year, Fox Sports, in association with McDonalds launched "The Next Great Sportswriter (NGS) Competition." However, after two NGS, this contest seems to be less a search for a great sportswriter, and more a ploy to generate ratings and hundreds of thousands of dollars if not more.

The Fox Sports website has succeeded in duping thousands of people to sign up and consisently blog on the website in hopes of becoming one of the top 16 contestants. However NGS leadership, without explanation, has chosen very questionable contestants to be finalists. For example, one contestant wrote three blogs over the course of a few months that were not considered by the masses to be of high quality.

Two more were selected but were replaced because of the fact they were not old enough to compete. Another contestant was found guilty of plagiarism.

The examples go on and on.

The point being is that, while Fox sports leadership argues we should be grateful for them providing us a place to showcase our writing and entertainment skills, the fact remains that the organization has not taken the necessary steps to assure fairness, nor has it taken the fact that many bloggers take their writings very seriously and spend countless time researching facts to assure accuracy, nor does its highest leadership respond to questions asked by contestants. As of today, they rely on the NGS I winner to answer bloggers' questions.

The bottom line is that without calling McDonalds and ordering a large NGS contest with moldy cheese, Fox does not generate as much blog attendance, nor does it generate enough ratings to keep up with espn.com and cnnsi.com.But in generating great ratings, Fox sports has utterly disregarded ethics as well as the feelings of others.

Puppet No Longer

2006-05-27T08:03:00.000-07:00

Written May 24th, 2006

I came to a realization today that most modern sportswriters, as well as columnists employeed by non-sporting mainstream media outlets, have made a sheer and utter mockery of the First Amendment by negatively living off the coat-tails of those whom were blessed with particular gifts.

It seems that to many modern columnists, superstars - regardless of profession - are no longer human beings, but machines who must operate at full speed at all times or face the bitterly negative consequences.

In other words, today's mainstream media eagerly waits for, and in some cases provokes the gifted to make mistakes so its columnists can abuse their own god given gifts to write columns begrudging normally good human beings for making a particular comment, making a human judgment error, or partaking in a bad performance.

Take Charley Rosen of Fox Sports for example.

In his most recent article, he absolutely ripped to pieces a normally resolved Detroit Pistons team for their performance last night versus Miami. To Rosen, there were absolutely no excuses for why Detroit played so poorly. To Rosen, the fact that the fatigue in the psyches' and legs of the Pistons was apparent after winning a 7 game dogfight over Cleveland meant absolutely nothing. To Rosen, athletes must not be human. They must be machines. And it is sad because it is articles like this that crushes the excellency of one of the most progressive sports in this nation.

But here's the irony in things like this. The same writers like Rosen whom consistently bark at the insufficient, as well as those whom constantly bemoan immorality amongst superstars, are the same writers whom violate ethics and morality every single day of their careers by feeding the disease that is called American ignorance.

These people feed off busy people like my father, who is a Detroiter who works 70 hour weeks making lives better for other people. It used to be that when my dad got time to watch or read the news he would utilize the mainstream media and its quick scandalous blurbs to stay on top of world events. But now, after being burned by news that affected his business, he no longer logs onto that type of stuff. Instead he hits the book store and tries to find time to educate himself during what little downtime he has.

My father is just one of millions of people in this nation whom fall into this trap, and the columnists whom write such garbage make fairly substantial livings off it.

However, I refuse to be one of these people. And so should you.

This is why it is important you realize that Fox Sports, as well as the "Next Great Sportswriter" contest that comes with it, is nothing more than a manipulative scam.

Fox sports leadership may argue that we should be grateful for them providing us a place to showcase our writing and entertainment skills.

But do not be fooled - especially you new bloggers.

The relationship between Fox Sports and its loyal bloggers is parasitic at best. While it is true Fox gives us a place to write, Fox also receives the opportunity to generate ratings and hundreds of thousands of dollars if not more.

The bottom line is that without calling McDonalds and ordering a large NGS contest with moldy cheese, Fox does not generate as much blog attendance, nor does it generate enough ratings to keep up with espn.com and cnnsi.com.

In other words, each one of us are nothing but puppets in the Fox Sports show.

But I am willing to be a puppet of Fox Sports no longer.

And you should not either.

In retrospect, I take pride in the fact that my articles highlighted the positives in people and organizations. Most people whom have read my writings serve as witnesses to this fact. Not one of my articles served to demonize any athlete and most of my articles tied sports to humanity. When I did voice opinion, the opinion was always verfied with statistics and not just bickering.

Ultimately, my desire to highlight goodness in people as opposed to wretchedness is perhaps why I will never be part of Fox Sports, nor any other mainstream media outlet.

But this is ok with me.

And if other people want to sell their souls to become part of the problem in America, that is ok with me as well.

Detroit Tigers Resemble Resilient Pistons

2006-05-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

Written May 21st, 2006

The Detroit Tigers (28-14) took a play directly from the Detroit Pistons playbook of resilience last night by coming from behind to defeat the Cincinatti Reds (25-18) in ten innings.
During painful Motown seasons past, if Ken Griffey Jr., or any other opposing batsman for that regard, crushed a grand slam during the seventh inning to give his team the lead, the Tigers would have normally folded.

But not last night.

Last night the Tigers - playing before the fourth largest crowd in Comerica Park history - absorbed the shock and awe caused by watching rookie reliever Joel Joel Zumaya's 100 mph fastball sail into the right center field seats off Kenny G's sweet sounding instrument, before gallantly fighting back in the bottom of the ninth inning.

With two outs and a 2-1 count, Tiger Center Fielder Curtis Granderson took on the role of Piston All Star point guard Chauncey Billups by hitting a big shot down the left field line off Reds closer David Weathers to tie the game at 6, thus sending the heated contest into extra innings.
In the top of the 10th inning, Fernando Rodney, who is slowly becoming the Tigers version of Ben Wallace, came in for Jaime Walker and slammed the door on the Reds.

During the bottom of the dramatic tenth inning, Weathers, throwing before 43,138 hooting and hollaring baseball fans, beaned Tiger Shortstop Carlos Guillen on the left foot, then allowed Guillen to steal second base shortly before walking First Baseman Chris Shelton. With runners on first and second, Dimitri Young hit a bullet of a ground ball to second basemen Brandon Phillips who made a sparkling, momentarily game saving play by knocking the ball down and forcing Shelton out at second. But unfortunately for Cincinatti, Phillips play sacrifice would be in vein, for shortly afterwards, Craig Monroe hit a seemingly normal ground ball to shortstop Felipe Lopez. However after routinely scooping up the baseball, strangely hesitated before throwing both the ball past first baseman Rich Aurilia to give the Tigers the victory.

The Tigers victory over Cincinatti was certainly a great victory for the long impoverished Tigers baseball team.

It was also a great victory for the City of Detroit. People living in and abroad Motown have not seemed to be this excited about baseball in years. Not since the early 90s when the triple entante of Cecil Fielder, Mickey Tettleton and Rob Deer sent Tiger fans home happy half the time by hitting monstrous game winning home runs, have Tiger fans had something to consistently cheer about.

But while the Tiger teams of the early 90s were fun to watch, this seasons Tiger team possesses solid pitching to back up its potent bats.

This alone is something for Tiger fans to celebrate.

Manny Ramirez Threatens Homerun Record

2006-05-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

Written May 20th, 2006

While baseball fans throughout this nation praise or persecute Barry Bonds for tying Babe Ruth for second on the all time home run leader board today, another home run record deemed once untouchable is being seriously threatened – the all time grand slam record.

The current owner of this record is long time New York Yankee first baseman and Cooperstown Hall of Fame member Lou Gehrig.

Gehrig, whose record of 23 career grand slams has stood for nearly 70 years, is being severely threatened by Boston Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez.

Ramirez, who turns 34 years old on May 30th, passed Eddie Murray for second on the all time grand slam list on July 5th 2005 when he hit the 20th grand slam of his career off then Texas Rangers starting pitcher Chris Young. This leaves Ramirez, a 14-year MLB veteran, just three grand slams shy of breaking one of the most heralded baseball players of all time.

With 20 grand slams during 14 years of MLB action, one cannot discount the idea that Ramirez will eventually smash Gehrig’s record.

If Ramirez stays relatively healthy and continues to uphold his 1.4 grand slams per year average, he should break the Iron Man's record sometime during the 2008 MLB campaign.
And ironically, just as this piece is near completion, Ken Griffey Jr. hit the 15th grand slam of his career off Tiger relief pitcher Joel Zumaya during the 7th inning at Comerica Park in Detroit. Also ironic is that with this home run, Kenny G is just one grand slam shy of tying Babe Ruth’s career record.

Hell Freezing Over?

2006-05-27T07:56:00.000-07:00

Written May 19th, 2006

Today, Detroit News columnist John Wisely reported that the FBI is chasing a credible lead from an 80 year old mafia jailbird who says he knows where Jimmy Hoffa's dead body is located.

Upon reading this article, I thought: "ok the Edmonton Oilers stun-gunned the Red Wings, the Pistons are about to get knocked off by the Cavs, the Tigers have the best record in all of baseball, and now the FBI is about to find Hoffa? All America needs now is for the Lions to win the Super Bowl and we will truly begin to believe that Hell has officially frozen over. And if the long impoverished Clippers win the NBA Championship, I will be whole-heartedly convinced.

Hotlanta Braves

Just when the New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies think the Atlanta Braves are primed to fade into the deepest realms of the National League East division, and subsequently relinquish its 14-year, iron-fisted grip on post-season play, Chipper Jones and Co. find itself back in the hunt for the crown.

Thanks to hot hitting from Edgar Renteria, Jeff Francoeur, and the Jones' brothers; as well as solid pitching from John Smoltz and Oscar Villarreal, the Braves (21-20) have won 9 of its last 11 games and are just 3.5 games back of the first place but struggling Mets.
Of course everyone will hate the Braves even more when Ted Turner inks Dontrelle Willis to a long-term deal.

Chestnuts and Hot Dogs

Congratulations to San Jose State Engineering pupil Joey "let's jock Babe Ruth some more" Chestnut for breaking Sonny Thomas' U.S. hot dog eating record by eating 50 hot dogs in 12 minutes. It is always great to see Americans' aspiring to accomplish great things in this world.

The Napoleonic Bonapistons and Dallas Terrylessavericks

Chauncey and Co. need to crush Lebron and Co. tonight before the Pistons find themselves entering summer hot dog eating competitions.

Mav's boxer Jason Terry says the Mavs will defeat the San Antonio Spurs tonight regardless of his absence from the lineup. The Spurs on the other hand, said something about smelling blood, taking it back to San Antonio for game 7 - something like that.

Defense Department Goes Bionic

2006-05-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

Written May 19th, 2006

If the U.S Defense Department (DOD), Johns Hopkins University (JHU), and the University of Utah (UT) have its way, predicaments like those faced by Chubbs Peterson in the movie Happy Gilmore may prove to be a thing of the past.

According to Live Science Editor Rob Britt, the DOD, specifically the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, or DARPA, has empowered and funded JHU’s Applied Physics Lab to research the feasibility of engineering a fully motional, lifelike bionic arm to improve quality of life for those with prosthetic and amputated limbs.

Within this bionic arm lays what UT researchers call a peripheral nerve stimulator. “The implanted device would relay nerve impulses wirelessly from what’s left of a limb to a computer worn on the person’s belt,” writes Britt. “From there, the signals would be routed to [the] bionic arm and back to the remainder of the amputated arm, where they would then flow naturally back to the brain.”

The successful creation of a bionic arm, as well as other subsequent limbs, may not only represent a major breakthrough in the medical community, but they may also provide war, accident, and disease debilitated amputees, new leases on life.

More interestingly, bionic limbs may provide amputee athletes the ability to return to the playing surface with much less frustration than what American Paralympic Champion Rudy Garcia-Tolson had to endure.

This breakthrough may even open the floodgates for more advanced limb engineering like indistinguishable to the naked eye type limbs with electrically stimulated muscles to help athletes return to sports like baseball, hockey, and basketball.

Of course to worldwide skeptics, these real life resembling limbs may seem to be nothing but a far-fetched, made for Hollywood dream.

But if dreamers in the medical community keep making progress in the realm of limb generation, the next Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, or Randy Johnson may very well be a former amputee turned bionic man.

The Napoleonic Bonapistons

2006-05-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

Written May 16th, 2006

During an era where most NBA playoff rosters are just one or two players away from being equal, it is imperative that teams, regardless of greatness, maintain the same unwavering persistence on the road as they do at home.

While it is true that the third game of any playoff series, regardless of sport, can prove difficult for any road team to win, what separates good teams from great teams in the NBA is that great teams eagerly respond to game three road losses by taking all necessary measures to counter the opponents strategy before plowing pathways to game four victories.

Unless you are the Detroit Pistons.

During the course of the past few playoff years, and especially during this second round series versus the Cleveland Cavaliers, it seems as if Rasheed Wallace and the Sunshine Band have grown accustomed to making is faithful and already high blood-pressured followers sweat profusely, choke on pretzel sticks and potato chips, and fire half empty beer cans, nasty explicatives, and rhetorical questions like “why can’t you guys sweep a damn team for once!” at television screens.

Last night’s despicably lackluster and inexcusable road performance against Lebron and Company provides concrete evidence to support this argument.

There are absolutely no valid excuses for the Pistons shooting an abysmal 33 percent from the field, turning the basketball over 14 times, and not feeding the ball inside to the powerful towers that be; nor are there any valid excuses for Piston defenders not sticking a hand or two in Donyell Marshall’s and Eric Snow’s face, for the Wallace brothers not making Anderson Varejao’s life a living hell, for the entire Piston team to collapse down the stretch for the second game in a row, and for Flip Saunders allowing one man to dictate the outcome of the game.
And now, the second round series that was supposed to be over in four games is now tied at two games apiece.

With that said the question becomes, why do the Pistons do this? Why does this highly talented, camaraderie laden basketball team struggle during mid-series playoff games when it seems as if it has the series in hand?

The answer to this question is this: This current Pistons team has Napoleon Complex, otherwise known as the unwillingness to perform up to expectations until gathering enough “us against the world,” engine burning fuel to allow the team to roar down playoff roads past mediocre opponents.

Hopefully the stout whooping the Cavaliers put on the Pistons last night has fueled Flip and Rip and the b-ball boys of Motown to rev up its powerful engines tomorrow night at the Palace of Auburn Hills and race off to a 3-2 series lead.

Because if the Pistons lose, they will be just one loss away from being forced to join the same organization as this years Red Wings hockey team – the heavily favored but failed club.

Great Deliverance of Homerun Milestones

2006-05-27T07:52:00.000-07:00

Written May 15th, 2006

According to a recently published article titled, The Overshadowing of Baseball Legends, a handful of professional baseball franchises and individual players have existed throughout the course of history that, despite compiling great season records and career statistics, are best remembered for taking part in activities deemed to be negative by societal and sporting standards at the time. Included in this piece to support this opinion are Roger Maris, Bill Buckner, Ted Williams, and the 1919 Chicago “Black” Sox.

Excluded from this article however, were two lesser-known Major League pitchers whose individual legacies are best defined, not by accomplishing milestone pitching statistics, but by granting milestone homeruns to legendary batsmen.

The first victim in this category is Bert Cole.

Cole was born in 1896 in San Francisco California and broke into the Big Leagues with the Detroit Tigers as a 6 ‘1, 180 lb left-handed hurler in 1921.

On July 18th that year, Cole, while pitching for the Tigers at Navin Field, watched a strapping, 26-year-old New York Yankee outfielder named Babe Ruth stroll up to home plate and, after the working the count in his favor, hit the 139th homerun of his career.

The significance of Ruth’s 139th homerun, although not recognized at the time, lie in the fact that it officially moved him into first place on the all time homerun list ahead of Hall of Fame slugging New York Giant first baseman Roger Connor.

Connor is significant because baseball historians not only recognize him as the 19th Century homerun king, but they also revere him as being the first ballplayer to hit a grand slam in Big League history as well as being the first player to hit a homerun over the wall at the monstrous Polo Grounds in New York.

As many baseball fans know, Ruth went on to smash Connor’s homerun record with 714 homeruns before retiring from baseball in May 1935.

Cole went on to pitch for five more seasons with Detroit after granting Ruth’s record-breaking homerun. During his short-lived career, Cole compiled a 28-32 record with 119 strikeouts and a 4.67 ERA. His best season took place in 1923 when he went 13-5 with 32 K's and a 4.14 ERA.
Thirty years after Ruth hit his record-breaking homerun, another big league left-hander named Al Downing made his Major League debut with the New York Yankees.

Seventeen years after throwing his 1st big league pitch, Downing, who also pitched also pitched for the Oakland Athletics, Milwaukee Brewers and Los Angeles Dodgers; retired with a 123-107 overall record, along with 1,639 strikeouts and a 3.22 ERA. Downing also earned a trip to the All Star game in Detroit 1967 and had his best season in 1971, going 20-9 with 136 strikeouts, 5 shutouts, and a 2.68 ERA.

But unfortunately for Downing, he will always be remembered for granting Hank Aaron his 715th homerun, thus allowing him to pass Babe Ruth as the homerun king of the 20th Century.

May 15th: A Pitcher Perfect Day

2006-05-27T07:51:00.000-07:00

Written May 15th, 2006

May 15th not only marks the beginning of Joe DiMaggio’s 56 game hitting streak, War Admiral’s 1937 Preakness victory over Pompoon, and the establishment of the New York Rangers; but it also marks the accomplishment of no-hitters by Virgil “Fire” Trucks of the Detroit Tigers and Don Cardwell of the Chicago Cubs; as well as a perfect game by Cleveland Indians hurler Len “Big Donkey” Barker.

Trucks, who was a World War II veteran as well as a World Series Champion, fired his no-hitter in 1952, winning a 1-0 affair versus the Washington Nationals.

But here is where things get interesting.

Trucks fired a second no-hitter during that same season against the eventual 1952 World Series Champion NewYork Yankee club - inside the House that Ruth Built. To put things in perspective, only five other teams in professional baseball history have fired no-hitters against the Yankees; and not since 1958 has one team accomplished the same.

The most interesting thing about Trucks’s two no-hitters is that they both occurred during the most abysmal season of his 17-year career. Trucks, who finished his career with a combined record of 177-135 along with 1,535 strikeouts and a 3.39 ERA, finished the 1952 season with just 5 wins and 19 losses and a 3.97 ERA.

But hey, when one is the uncle of Butch Trucks – the founding member of the Allman Brothers Band – one can get away with one season of miserable pitching.

Next on the list of May 15th no-hitter hurlers is 6-4 right-hander Don Cardwell. This Winston Salem North Carolina native achieved his no-no in 1960 against the St. Louis Cardinals during his first start after being shipped to Chicago by the Philadelphia Phillies. While Caldwell accumulated a mediocre at best 102-183 record along with 1,211 strikeouts and a 3.92 ERA, he did help the Amazin Mets conquer Brooks Robinson and the heavily favored Baltimore Orioles in 5 games during the 1969 World Series.

Last but not least, Tribe hurler “Big Donkey” Barker achieved perfection 25 years ago today versus Danny Ainge, George Bell and the Toronto Blue Jays at Cleveland Stadium. Barker went on to play in the All Star game that season but did not accomplish much more afterwards – 74-76 with a 4.34 ERA to be exact.

Regardless of mediocrity, Barker will forever be etched in baseball immortality as one of just 17 pitchers in baseball history to achieve a perfect game.

And May 15th will forever be remembered as a pitcher perfect day.

Pitching Key to Tigers' Resurgence

2006-05-27T07:48:00.000-07:00

Written May 14th, 2006

The Detroit Tigers franchise and its faithful followers are currently witnessing something that has not been seen in the city since 1984 – solid pitching.

Not since the glory days when hurlers like Jack Morris, Dan Petry, and Willie Hernandez roamed the historic baseball grounds at Michigan and Trumbull have the Tigers boasted a better team pitching record.

Coming into today’s third and final game of an AL Central Divisional series versus the Cleveland Indians, the Tigers own a Major League leading team ERA of 3.32. This is .17 points lower than the league leading 3.49 ERA achieved by the 1984 World Series winning Tiger team.

More impressively, Detroit possess the lowest ERA in the league amongst both starting and relieving pitchers. They are also ranked first in shutouts (6), first in On Base Average percentage (.297) and third behind the New York Yankees and Florida Marlins in homeruns given up (29).

But most importantly, Tiger hurlers - unlike years past - have proven their ability to consistently throw strikes. They are currrently ranked third in the Majors behind the Minnesota Twins and Chicago White Sox with just 97 walked batsmen. By comparison, the Baltimore Orioles pitching staff, which is the worst pitching staff in the Majors at this point, have walked 164 batters. Detroit's starting pitchers alone have walked just 67 batters in 225 2/3 innings.

So who is responsible for the Tigers pitching transformation?

Some say that team General Manager Dave Dombrowski has helped the cause by remaining patient with a powerful but youthful pitching staff and also by signing veteran left-handed hurler Kenny Rogers during the off season.

Others argue new Tigers skipper Jim Leyland, with his disciplinarian, every game matters approach, is responsible for the the team's quick turnaround.

Some even say veteran catcher Ivan Rodriguez has greatly helped his pitchers by giving them confidence to battle any batter standing at the plate regardless of past outcomes.

While all these arguments are certainly valid, no one can deny the tremendous impact new pitching coach Chuck Hernandez has had on his core of hurlers.

Hernandez, who came to Detroit from the Tampa Bay Devil Rays when skipper Lou Pinella saddled up and rode out of town, has instilled a sense of pride and has stressed the importance of proper pre-game preparation within his young guns.

Under Hernandez’s watch, the Tigers pitching staff looks less like Charlie Sheen and Company during the early part of Major League II and more like Maverick, Ice Man and fellow fighter pilots in the movie Top Gun, sitting in a dark briefing room on the aircraft carrier shortly before conquering the Soviets during a heated dog fight.

Ok maybe not exactly.

But Hernandez has been successful thus far in collecting critical intelligence on opposing American League batters as indicated in an article penned by MLB Reporter Jason Beck. After highlighting exploitable weaknesses in this acquired intelligence, Hernandez, like a military general briefs his troops prior to key battle, briefs his pitchers and catchers on what he discovered shortly before helping them use their strengths on the mound and behind the plate to emerge victorious during every baseball game.

And thus far, Hernandez’s vigilant intelligence work has paid off – especially for the starting pitchers. For example, Kenny Rogers, with 6 wins and 2 losses, is tied with New York Yankee ace Mike Mussina for the most victories in baseball. He also has a 3.23 ERA and has walked just 13 batters in 53 innings pitched. Mike Maroth, who is the pitcher who accumulated a 9-21 record and 5.73 ERA in 2003, has been equally as impressive. He is currently 4-2 with a league second best 2.55 ERA. Jeremy Bonderman, who is also 4-2, owns a 3.74 ERA and, like Rogers, has walked just 13 batters in 53 innings pitched. Nate Robertson is 3-2 with a 3.27 ERA, and finally, Justin Verlander, a right-handed fireball pitcher who averages 98 mph on the radar gun, prides a 4-3 record, 3.77 ERA, and has struck out 27 batters in 43 innings of work.

Detroit’s relief pitching staff, led by Fernando Rodney (1-1, 1.69 ERA, 15 Ks in 16 innings), Jaime Walker (0-0, 1.04 ERA, 10 Ks in 8.2 innings, 0 walks), and rookie Joel Zumaya (1-0, 2.93 ERA, 19 Ks in 15.1 innings), have been equally impressive.

And lets not forget closer Todd Jones.

Jones, who had been released by the Tigers a few years ago only to be re-signed a few years later, has cashed in on 9 of 10 save opportunities. He is just 4 saves short of tying Boston Red Sox league leading closer Jonathan Papelbon (13 saves) for the Major League lead.

However, while the Tiger pitching staff has reigned supreme during the course of the first 36 games, the question is, will they be able to sustain their consistency over the course of a 162 game season. Some argue they will like the Oakland Athletics did a few years ago. Some argue they will follow the same fate as last years Baltimore Orioles.

Regardless of opinion, Detroit's early successful pitching is good for the long struggling baseball city that is Detroit. And it is good for baseball as well.

Motor City Calling Stackhouse?

2006-05-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

Written May 12th, 2006

If the Dallas Mavericks and Detroit Pistons continue to play as efficiently as they have been throughout the remainder of this season's NBA playoffs, both franchises may very well find themselves going toe to toe with one another during the NBA Finals.

Should this happen, Dallas sharp shooting guard Jerry Stackhouse will face off with the same ballplayer he was traded for in 2002 – Piston All Star guard Rip Hamilton.

On September 11th, 2002 Stackhouse was shipped to the Washington Wizards by new Piston President of Operations Joe Dumars as part of a six-player deal that brought Hamilton to Detroit.

Being traded from by a 50-32, division winning Piston franchise to a rebuilding Wizards franchise did not sit well with Stackhouse at the time. “I was just disappointed,” said Stackhouse during an interview on his fan website. “I had to leave a fan base that had grown with me since I’d been there and who had been just unbelievably great for me.”

But nearly four years later, things seem to be going well for both Stackhouse and Hamilton.
Since being traded by Michael Jordan and the Wizards to the Mavericks in 2004, Stackhouse has averaged 18 points and 3.3 assists per game coming off the bench. He has also played a major role in the success of this seasons 60 win Mavericks team during the playoffs, averaging 15 points and 1.5 assists in 30 minutes of action per game. More impressively, during the first two semi-final games versus the San Antonio Spurs, Stackhouse has averaged 21 points and is averaging 57 percent from behind the arc on 4-7 shooting.

Hamilton has been equally impressive for the 64-18 Pistons. Since becoming a starter in 2002, he has averaged 19 points and 3.7 assists. And despite being hobbled by an ankle injury during this year’s playoffs, Hamilton has averaged 20.6 points and 3.6 assists per game in 36 minutes of action per game.

But most importantly, Hamilton has also won an NBA Title.

And in order for Stackhouse and the Mavericks to conquer the Larry O'Brien Trophy, they may have to go through Hamilton and the Pistons to do it.

The NBA's Four Quadruple-Doublers

2006-05-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

Written May 11th, 2006

One of the most difficult feats to accomplish in professional basketball is the quadruple-double, or the compilation of double digits in four box score categories. In fact, it is so difficult that only four basketball players since the days of peach baskets have been able to conquer it. These players are Nathan “Nate” Thurmond, Alvin Robertson, Hakeem Olajuwon, and David Robinson.

Conquerer of the Quadruple Double

Naismith Hall of fame Center/Forward Nate Thurmond was the first professional basketball player in the history of the game to accomplish a quadruple-double.

According to the NBA Encyclopedia, Thurmond, a 6-11, 235 lb Akron Ohio native who was drafted third overall by the San Francisco Warriors in 1963, “provided the best mix of offense and defense in basketball history… With quickness and long hands, a smooth outside shooting touch, tenacious defense, classic shot blocking ability, and a total team attitude, Thurmond offered a perfectly balanced package.”

During his 10-year stint with the San Francisco turned Golden State Warriors, Thurmond averaged over 18 points, 15 rebounds, and 3.5 assists per game and helped propel them to the NBA Finals.

However the Warriors – a franchise known for historically ignorant roster moves – did not embrace the same opinion as basketball historians at the time. The same organization that shipped Wilt Chamberlain to the Philadelphia 76ers in 64-65 only to have the move come back to haunt them during the 66-67 NBA Finals, dealt Thurmond to the Chicago Bulls in 1974.
Thurmond was obviously ticked off about the move because during his debut with the Bulls on September 18th, 1974 he torched the Atlanta Hawks for 22 points, 14 rebounds, 13 assists, and 12 blocked shots, thus making him the proud owner of professional basketball’s first quadruple-double.

While Thurmond never won an NBA Title, he is considered by the NBA to be one of its top 50 players in history. The seven time All Star is also considered one of the greatest centers to play the game. During his 14-year career, Thurmond averaged 15.0 points, 15.1 rebounds, 2.1 blocks and 2.0 assists per game. The Cleveland Cavaliers, which was Thurmond’s third and final ballclub, retired his number 42 in 1988.

Today, Thurmond owns and operates a well-known restaurant in San Francisco called Big Nate’s Barbeque.

The Journeyman

Nearly 10 years after Nate Thurmond achieved the first quadruple-double, the San Antonio Spurs, with the 7th pick in the 1984 draft, selected 6-3 185 lb Olympic Gold winning point guard Alvin Robertson from the University of Arkansas.

Robertson, who was known throughout the league as a lightning quick, versatile and defensively sound but sometimes itchy-fingered guard did not take long to make his presence felt.
After getting his feet wet in his rookie season in 1985, Robertson earned his first All Star appearance as well as the NBA Defensive Player of the Year Award and the NBA Most Improved Player Award in 1986 after posting averages of 17.0 points, 5.5 assists, and 3.7 steals.
But to basketball historians and ardent Phoenix Suns fans Robertson is best known for his quadruple-double performance on February 18th 1986. During that game Robertson registered 20 points, 11 rebounds, 10 assists and 10 steals for the Spurs in a 120-114 victory over the Suns.

Robertson went on to play 8 more NBA seasons and made 3 more All Star appearances after his outstanding performance. During his 10-year career, he averaged 14 points, 5 assists, and 2.7 steals per contest and is recognized as being the first player to score for the Toronto Raptors, the first player Shaquille O’Neill took a swing at in the NBA, and last but not least, the man who served a one year prison sentence for taking a swing or two (or three) at his ex-girlfriend.

Living the Dream

Seven ft 255 lb Nigerian native Hakeem Olajuwon is considered by many to be one of the best, if not the best Center ever to play the game of basketball.

After playing with Clyde Drexler at the University of Houston, Olajuwon was selected first in the 1984 NBA Draft by the Houston Rockets ahead of Michael Jordan (3rd), Charles Barkley (5th) and John Stockton (16th).

While Houston’s pick seemed somewhat questionable at the time, Olajuwon certainly did not disappoint.

During his rookie season, Olajuwon averaged 20.6 points, 11.9 rebounds and 2.68 blocks per game; and in 1985 he finished second to Michael Jordan in the chase for Rookie of the Year honors.

In 1986, Olajuwon – with his 23.5 points, 11.5 rebounds, 3.4 blocks per game averages – helped guide the Rockets to the NBA finals before losing to Larry Bird and the Boston Celtics in 6 games. Over the course of the next 8 years years following the loss to Boston, the Houston franchise slipped into a world of mediocrity, making it no further in the playoffs than the Western Conference Semis.

Meanwhile, Olajuwon, began to earn solid reputation of being a great clutch performer, great shot blocker, and a a fierce competitor.

And the NBA took notice.

Between 1986 and 1994 Olajuwon earned All NBA Team Honors 8 times, All NBA Defensive First Team Honors 5 times and 2 NBA Defensive Player of the Year Awards, He also appeared in 7 NBA All Star games, and earned both the NBA Most Valuable Player Award and the NBA Sportsmanship Award.

While all of Olajuwon’s accomplishments during this stretch of mediocrity were undoubtedly extraordinary, nothing topped two of the most amazing performances of his career – performances that occurred just twenty-six days apart from one another.

On March 3rd 1990, Olajuwon seemingly became just the third NBA player in history to record a quadruple-double when he compiled 29 points, 18 rebounds, 10 assists, and 11 blocks versus Chris Mullin and the Golden State Warriors. Shortly after the game ended however, league officials corrected a statistical error on their part and relinquished one of Olajuwon’s assists leaving him with 9 and nothing more than a monstrous triple-double.

Olajuwon, feeling denied perhaps, dramatically entered the NBA record books 26 days later on March 29th when he earned 18 points, 16 rebounds, 10 assists, and 11 blocks against none other than Alvin Robertson and the Milwaukee Bucks. Olajuwon’s performance that night is still considered by many to be one of the greatest in NBA history.

Olajuwon and the Rockets eventually went on to win the NBA Title four years later by defeating Patrick Ewing and the New York Knicks in Houston in a memorable seven game series.

Olajuwon was a catalyst in the game six victory at Madison Square Garden in New York, scoring 25 points, snatching 10 rebounds, and blocking John Starks game winning three point attempt with two seconds left to secure the seventh and deciding game in Houston. Olajuwon was bestowed NBA Finals MVP Honors.

The following season Olajuwon, with newly acquired Clyde Drexler at his side once again, helped Houston win a second consecutive NBA Championship. Olajuwon also earned his second consecutive NBA Finals MVP award.

In 1996 Olajuwon played along side basketball legends Reggie Miller, Karl Malone, Shaquille O’Neil, Scottie Pippen, David Robinson and others as a member of the 1996 Summer Olympic Basketball Gold Medal winning Dream Team III. That same year, the NBA recognized Olajuwon as one of the top 50 players in NBA history.

Olajuwon went on to play seven more seasons in the NBA after winning the gold medal in Atlanta. During the course of his illustrious 18-year career Olajuwon, a 12 time All-Star and 12 time All NBA Team member, averaged 21.8 points, 11.1 rebounds, 3.09 blocks and 2.5 assists per game. His number 34 hangs in the rafters at the Toyota Center in Houston and will eligible for the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame in 2007.

The Admiral

Perhaps one of Hakeem Olajuwon’s fiercest NBA rivals was U.S. Naval Academy Graduate and Key West Florida native turned San Antonio Spur superstar David Robinson.
Robinson, who was the first player selected in the 1987 NBA Draft, gave his new and struggling Spurs team an instant shot in the arm upon arrival in 1989 after filling his two year military service commitment with the Navy. During Robinson’s rookie season, the Spurs went from worst to First in the Western Conference’s Midwest Division with a 56-26 record before falling in the second round to Clyde Drexler and the Portland Trailblazers in a hard fought seven game series.

Much like Olajuwon, Robinson suffered through several more successful regular but disappointing playoff seasons before finally winning the NBA Championship – ironically over the New York Knicks in 1999.

Robinson also compiled similar statistics, honors, and Olympic Gold Medals as Olajuwon; in addition to earning NBA Rookie of the Year honors and a scoring title. And much like Olajuwon, Robinson accomplished a quadruple-double, making him the fourth and most recent to do so.
Robinson accomplished his quadruple-double on February 17th 1994 by amassing 34 points, 10 rebounds, 10 assists, and 10 blocks against Grant Hill and the Detroit Pistons.

Eight years and two NBA championship rings later, Robinson retired from the NBA with per game averages of 21.1 points, 10.6 rebounds, 3.0 blocks, and 2.5 assists. His number 50 hangs from the rafters at the SBC Communications Center in San Antonio, Texas.

Barnburner in the Bronx

2006-05-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

Written May 10th, 2006

While it is true that the 2006 Major League Baseball season is still in its infancy, the atmosphere within the confines of the House that Ruth Built will be electric tonight when Mike Mussina takes to the hill for the New York Yankees (18-12) against Curt Schilling and the Boston Red Sox (20-12).

The Yankees will look to bounce back and tie the series at a game a piece a little less than twenty-four hours after Yankee Owner George Steinbrenner unloaded on his ill-hitting, sloppily playing team via the media after being torched by the Red Sox 13-4.

Mussina, who currently boasts a 5-1 record, 42 strikeouts and a 2.35 ERA, will duel with Schilling (5-1, 45 strikeouts, 3.02 ERA). Both Mussina and Schilling are currently tied for first in the Majors in victories and rank in the top ten in the league in both strikeouts and ERA.

Another player who will be looking to bounce back tonight is Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez. During last night's shellacking, Rodriguez went 0-3 and committed two errors at third base. So far this season, Rodriguez is hitting .259 with 6 homeruns and 24 RBIs.

A victory by the Yankees will propel the club into a first place tie with the Red Sox in the consistently seesawing American League East Division.

Ben Wallace Headed For the Hall of Fame?

2006-05-27T07:40:00.000-07:00

Written May 9th, 2006

Yesterday evening the Associated Press (AP) reported that veteran Detroit Piston Center Ben Wallace has, for the fourth time in his career, has earned the NBA’s Defensive Player of the Year Award.

By earning this prestigious award, Wallace has not only won for the fourth time in five years, but he has also tied Houston Rocket reserve center Dikembe Mutombo for the most top defensive award honors in NBA history.

One of the most interesting quotes taken from this article streamed from the mouth of Detroit Piston President of Basketball Operations slash newly inducted Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Famer Joe Dumars.

"I didn't get to see [Bill] Russell or [Wilt] Chamberlain, but I can't remember a guy that wreaks so much havoc of the court like Ben does," said Dumars, "[Hakeem] Olajuwon and Mutombo were both great defenders, but they only guarded centers. Ben can basically guard 1s (point guards) through 5s (centers), and the closest guy I saw do that was Dennis Rodman.”
Of course all the names Dumars mentioned in this statement are memorable ones. Chamberlain and Russell are both members of the Hall of Fame; Olajuwon becomes eligible for the Hall in 2007; and Mutombo, as stated earlier, still plays for the Rockets. He too will become a viable candidate for the hall five years after he retires.

And while nobody can dispute Dennis Rodman's outstanding defensive accomplishments, this five time NBA champion may not earn a spot within the Hall because of the irrefutable damage he caused to the image of the game of basketball.

This leaves Ben Wallace.

While it is true that Big Ben's offensive statistics are subpar (6.6 points, 1.3 assists, 1.03 turnovers per game), his statistics on the defensive end of the floor are superb.
During his ten-year NBA career, Wallace, a four time All Star, has averaged 11.3 rebounds, 2.21 blocks, and 1.34 steals per game.

According to NBA.com, Wallace currently ranks in the top ten in every NBA defensive category for his position. For example, Wallace is ranked:

1st in Offensive Rebounds Per Game (3.7)
2nd in Steals Per Turnover (1.66)
4th in Rebounds Per Game (11.3)
4th in Total Rebounds (923.0)
5th in Defensive Rebounds (622)
5th in Rebounds Per 48 Minutes (15.3)
5th in Blocks (181.0)
6th in Defensive Rebounds Per Game (7.6)
7th in Steals (146.0)
7th in Blocks Per 48 Minutes (3.01)
8th in Defensive Rebounds Per 48 Minutes (10.3)
8th in Steals Per 48 Minutes (2.42)
9th in Blocks Per Game (2.21)
9th in Offensive Rebounds Per 48 Minutes (5.0)
10th in Steals Per Game (1.78)

Besides these statistics, Wallace also possesses the intangibles that seems to be missing from modern professional basketball.

Wallace is the humble heart and soul of a world championship caliber team, as well as a man who works tirelessly on both ends of the floor during each and every contest, and who motivates everybody else on his team to do the same.

But most importantly, Wallace quietly accomplishes each of these missions without angrily waving his hands and demanding respect.

This is because Wallace knows his game speaks for itself.

And that is good enough for him.

And it is good enough for the Pistons as well.

But will Wallace's accomplishments be good enough for those who have final say as to whom is granted passage into the Basketball Hall of Fame?

The answer to this question remains to be seen.

However, if Wallace continues to play the way he has over the course of the past decade, Hall of Fame voters will have no choice but to open basketball's pearly gates and allow both him and his outrageous afro to pass into immortality.

Ace VenHunter: When NBA Playoffs Call

2006-05-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

Written May 7th, 2006

Have you ever seen the movie Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls starring slapstick acting genious Jim Carrey? The comedy where, according to the Encyclopedia of Fantasic Film and Television, "following the death of an innocent raccoon in a mountaineering accident, a heartbroken Ace Ventura retreats to a Tibetan monastery," only to be "soon whisked off to Africa by Fulton Greenwood, a representative of the British ambassador to troubled land of Nibia. Ambassador Cadley is concerned that the two local tribes, the [peaceful Wachati] and the [belligerant Wachootoo] are prepared to go to war over the loss of a legendary giant white bat that both tribes consider sacred and it's up to Ace to find the creature and return it to its rightful lair?"

Halfway though this movie, a pivotal scene unfolds when several Wachootoo Tribe members catch Ace Ventura red-handed attempting to sneak into their village to rescue the sacred bat.
As a result, Ace is subsequently forced to literally fight for his life when he goes head to head with the Wachootoo Tribe's mightiest tribal fighter -- a four and a half foot tall, viciously growling, teeth chomping mortal named The Tiny Warrior.

In Living Color television show enthusiasts may recognize The Tiny Warrior better as Tommy Davidson.

During this very humorous fight scene, Ace Ventura, after laughing at the sheer sight of the gnarling midget standing before him, gets pummelled so badly, the normally sacrificial Wachootoo Chief, feels pity for Ace and lets him go without further injury. But not before crushing Ace's ego by telling him he fights like a sissy girl in front of his hooting, hollaring, and poisonous arrow shooting tribesmen.

What does movie have to do with sports you ask?

It has everything to do with sports, for Detroit Piston reserve point guard Lindsey Hunter is the real life version of the Wachootoo's Tiny Warrior.

Hunter, a pesky and inspiring 6 foot 2 inch tall, two time NBA Champion, is considered to be one of the premier defensive players in the NBA. During his 13 year professional career, this 34-year-old journeyman workhorse has earned a highly respected reputation for containing some of the leagues most dangerous scoring threats and also for pressuring foes into turnovers during pivotal times.

Hunter is the kind of basketball player Piston fans love and opposing fans despise. He accomplishes things during games that do not usually appear in the post-game box score. He is the type of player who can enter the game and spark his team when flatness and boredom reigns supreme. He can alter the course of a game with relentless hustle, sheer annoyance, and with something one of the Ten Commandments abhors – theft.

According to NBA statistics, Hunter currently ranks 4th among active NBA players in steals per 48 minutes, and currently ranks 3rd in Piston franchise steals (849) behind Isiah Thomas (1,861) and Joe Dumars (902).

Hunter is also a great defensive advisor to fellow Piston players during team practices. For example, Oakland Press sports columnist Dana Gauruder, in her April 2005 article titled, “Rip the Stopper,” wrote “[Rip] Hamilton attributes his defensive improvement to watching and emulating Hunter, whom [Larry] Brown calls the best defensive guard in the league.”

Offensively speaking, Hunter has also faired fairly well during his career, averaging 9.2 points 1.3 steals and 2.8 assists in 26.7 minutes per game. More interestingly, Hunter ranks 31st among NBA all-time leaders and 2nd among Piston franchise leaders in successful three-point attempts with 1,013. And while inconsistent on the offensive end, Hunter, if abandoned by opposing forces, can and will torch them. His 17 point performance against the San Antonio Spurs during game four of last years NBA Finals, provides sharp evidence to support this assertion.

Hunter may not be the most talented basketball player on the Pistons. But he may be the defensive sharpshooter the Pistons need to hunt down and capture the Larry O’Brien Trophy once again.

In other words, if Lindsey Hunter keeps making opposing guards feel like Ace looks in the photo to the left, the Pistons may have no problems winning the title this season.

Career Notes: The Detroit Pistons selected Lindsey Hunter with the 10th pick in the 1st round of the 1993 NBA draft. After playing his first seven professional campaigns with the Pistons, Hunter signed with the Milwaukee Bucks in 2001 and then with the Los Angeles Lakers in 2002. Shortly after Hunter helped the Lakers win the 2002-2003 NBA Championship, he signed with Toronto as a free agent only to return to Detroit via trade, where he was subsequently instrumental in helping the Pistons defeat the Los Angeles Lakers in 5 games during the 2003-2004 NBA Finals.

Gambling His Life Away

2006-05-27T07:37:00.000-07:00

Written May 7th, 2006

Earlier this week, NBA Hall of Famer Charles Barkley and PGA golfer John Daly both admitted they have problems with compulsive gambling. However, neither Barkley's nor Daly's cases come close to what former Detroit Tiger slugger Cecil Fielder (and father of Milwaukee Brewer first baseman Prince Fielder) has gone through over the course of the past few years.
Cecil's predicament is reflected in the following Detroit News turned USA Today article written by columnist Fred Girard. I thought it would be good to share this article so everyone can see how much damage compulsive gambling can do to finances, families and friends.
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/2004-10-18-cecil-fielder-troubles_x.htm
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MLB Winds of Playoff Change?

2006-05-27T07:35:00.000-07:00

Written May 6th, 2006

Perhaps one of the biggest grievances baseball fans have expressed to Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and Company over the course of the past few years revolves around the inability of small market teams like the Milwaukee Brewers, Pittsburgh Pirates, and Detroit Tigers to compete with the likes of the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox and Atlanta Braves.

As a result, amongst other things, it seems that baseball fans living in and around small market cities throughout America have seemed to lose interest in watching the grand old game.
While it is true baseball attendance will rise come deep summer, one cannot deny the dip in attendance.

Camden Yards in Baltimore for example, harbors 3,000 less fans per game than it did last season. According to the Associated Press, in an article titled, Orioles have empty feeling at Camden Yards, “it was the third time this season Baltimore set a record low for attendance at a ballpark that not long ago regularly attracted sellout crowds."

Some Baltimoreans say they are refusing the ballpark in protest of much maligned Oriole owner Peter Angelos. This is evident in the launching of websites like http://www.savebaltimorebaseball.com.

Other fans in the city and abroad say they are not going because the Orioles are not performing up to expectation, especially with regard to pitching. The very existence of the Washington Nationals has also entered this equation.

But perhaps the most common beef amongst Oriole fans has really little to do with battles with Angelos and displeasure with insufficiency, but more to do with the seeming improbability of the Orioles making the playoffs, especially when faced with playing in the same division as big market powerhouses like the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees.

Of course the wild card does exist for situations like this, but again, if teams like the Detroit Tigers and Toronto Blue Jays cannot maintain their rabid paces, either the Red Sox or Yankees will earn the wild card, proceed to go, and collect $200 million dollars.

And quite frankly it is not fair to teams like Detroit, Toronto, and anyone who dares finish second in the National League Central Division.

With the aforementioned in mind, what can Bud Selig and Co. do to resolve this problem?

How about changing the current baseball playoff system to an eight-seeded system resembling that of the NBA and NHL, with the exception that the first round of playoff action be a best of five game series?

For example, here is the American League playoff scenario if the season ended today:

* Denotes Division Leaders

1. Chicago White Sox* vs 8. Oakland Athletics
2. New York Yankees* vs 7. Cleveland Indians
3. Texas Rangers* vs 6. Toronto Blue Jays
4. Detroit Tigers vs 5. Boston Red Sox

Here is the National league playoff scenario if the season ended today.

1. New York Mets* vs 8. Philadelphia Phillies
2. Cincinnati Reds* vs 7. Milwaukee Brewers
3. Colorado Rockies* vs 6. Arizona Diamondbacks
4. Houston Astros vs 5. St. Louis Cardinals

Imagine the firepower implementing this playoff system would add to the objective of generating more interest in the game of baseball. Imagine the great stories that could be written regarding these respective series. The potential Boston Red Sox/Detroit Tiger series, as well as the Houston Astros/St. Louis Cardinals series would certainly intrigue even the most casual of baseball fans; not to mention the revenue it would create for professional baseball and the small market town it represents.

So what prevents Selig and Co. from implementing this playoff system?

Does it create manning and financial problems for the league?

If the concern is an extended baseball season, why not adopt the philosophy of Mike and Mike on ESPN? They argue that baseball should bring back the weekend double header. By doing this, not only would tradition in regards to maintaining the 162 game season remain in tact, but it would also shorten the days needed to achieve a full regular season.

Regardless of the short-term concerns of changing the MLB playoff system, the positive long-term affects seem to greatly outweigh the negatives.

Hypocrisy?

2006-05-27T07:31:00.000-07:00

Written May 4th, 2006

Sporting newspaper columnists, television anchormen, and radio show hosts at all levels seem to be succeeding in their mission of applying kerosene to the already smoldering fire that is the Major League Baseball steroid controversy through the abuse of two of the most cherished First Amendment freedoms our Nation’s Constitution has to offer – Freedom of Speech and Freedom of the Press.

Since speculative news broke forth to the nation that Barry Bonds and Company were possibly using steroids, these three aforementioned entities have diligently worked around the Greenwich clock to inflame the will of readers, viewers and listeners alike through the usage of scandalous and manipulative comments like, “what kind of selfish people use steroids when they know the type of damage they do to their bodies,” and “what kind of example are these pompous athletes sending to our children by abusing steroids,” and even better, “what kind of message will we the people be sending to our children who play sports if we do not take a stand against steroid abuse.”

The most previously written quote is by far the most humorous of the three mentioned. “What about the children” seems to be the most commonly packaged scam delivered to the eyes of ears of mothers and fathers throughout this nation with children involved with athletics or with anything else involving politics for that matter.

And it is a sheer and utter shame.

So is the fact that same mothers and fathers whom consistently petition the mainstream media hotline to the U.S. Congress to conquer steroid abuse in professional baseball “because of the message it is sending to children;” whom petition Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig to place asterisks next to Barry Bonds’s name when he breaks Babe Ruth’s homerun record; and whom petition baseball owners to resist retiring the names of any baseball player who abused steroids; are the same individuals whom hypocritically encourage their own children to embrace the sheer toughness, determination, and excellency possessed by modern professional sporting icons like Curt Schilling, Brett Favre, Steve Yzerman, and Dwayne Wade; all of which take performance enhancing drugs.

That is right.

While men and women serving on Congressional panels fight to prevent steroids from poisoning “one of America’s purest pastimes;” while Bud Selig assures Congress that he will launch a thorough investigation into steroid abuse; while league drug testing personnel examine athlete donated samples in laboratories throughout the nation; and while mainstream media members hammer away at computer keyboards and spit lyrics into microphones glorifying athletes similar to the ones just mentioned; the athletes similar to the ones just mentioned are currently or have in the past, injected or ingested one of the most widely distributed and abused performance enhancing drugs on the market into their own bodies.

These drugs, which are just as dangerous and much more widely abused than steroids, are called painkillers.

And they are destroying sports.

For those who do not know, two tiers of pain -killers exist on the market.

First tier (non-prescribed) painkillers are used for minor aches, pains, colds, headaches, and muscular pain. These painkillers include Anacin, Advil, Aleve, Bayer, Bufferin, Excedrin, Motrin, and Tylenol amongst others.

Second tier (prescribed) painkillers are the drugs generating the most heated debate within medical communities, International and Federal Governments, and within professional athletics with regards to potency, to whom and how much to properly prescribe, and how to best control illegal distribution. Prescribed painkillers include Demerol, Vicodin, Lorcet Plus, Percocet, Percodan Oxycontin, Dilaudid, etc.

Prescribed drugs are also the drugs being most widely abused throughout the professional athletic community. The seriousness of this problem is indicated in an article filed by the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA). Paragraph two of this article states that the “abuse of certain prescription drugs and controlled substances such as painkillers and steroids, has become an increasingly widespread problem in the USA, leading to dangerous abuse, addiction, and sometimes fatalities.”

The article proceeds to say that “according to data collected by the Drug Abuse Warning Network (WARN), since 1995 the number of drug abuse related emergency room visits involving pain relievers such as Vicodin, Percocet, Oxycontin and Darvon have increased 153 percent (from 42, 857 to 108, 320).”

Furthermore, according to the California Government Health and Community Services Department, painkillers pose the following health risks:

Nausea and Vomiting Respiratory Infection
Stomach Pain Kidney and Liver Problems
Loss of Balance Decreased Sex Drive
Labored Breathing Painful or Frequent Urination
Dizziness Menstrual Irregularities
Lightheadedness Ulcers
Loss of Appetite Addiction
Blurred Vision Abnormal Restlessness
Impaired Coordination Coma or Death Due to Overdose

From the Federal Governmental Law’s perspective, particularly the Narcotic Control Act, “it is illegal to obtain prescribed painkillers without an authorized prescription.” It is also illegal to “obtain any prescription drug containing narcotic without notifying the physician that you have received a similar prescription within the last 30 days.”

So how does all this intermingle with the sporting world?

Would you believe that the same legendary athletes – household named mortals like Wayne Gretzky, Jerry Rice, Michael Jordan, Randy Johnson, Karl Malone, and Roger Clemens, – frequently injected and/or ingested potent painkillers into their bodies during their playing days to quiet pain created by battlefield injuries?

It is true.

These men, despite knowing full well the dangerous short and long-term potential effects of taking prescription painkillers, still took them.

Why did these men partake in such activity?

“I think that’s the mentality of players,” said retired Buffalo Bill Quarterback Jim Kelly during an interview with New York Times columnist Mike Freeman, “there’s a lot at stake. Big contracts, the pressure of losing your job – a lot of things force some guys to do things that maybe they shouldn’t do. I know I played in a lot of games that I shouldn’t have been playing in, but I did.”

So do many other athletes other than the aforementioned.

In a December 2004 article titled Defending Barry Bonds, MLB News Columnist Keith Dobkowski wrote, “we just celebrated Brett Favre’s 200th consecutive start. That streak would not exist if it were not for pain injections and pain killer medications.

Dobkowski proceeded to write that, “when the Red Sox beat the curse after 86 years, it was pain injections and performance enhancers that allowed Curt Schilling to return to the mound with a torn tendon in his ankle.”

While rebuking the argument that asterisks should be placed next to Barry Bonds’s name, Dobkowski also mentioned the fact that Willie Mays and Hank Aaron drank amphetamine juice before games to increase energy and concentration, and that Babe Ruth “was known to use a corked bat.”

Most recently, during game five of this NBA season’s first round playoff match up between the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls, Dwayne Wade, after taking a horrible, deep thigh contusion generating fall to the hardwood floor, was carried off the court and into the training room by two of his teammates where he took a pain relieving injection in his butt before gloriously returning to the court during the most critical of times to help the Heat fend off a surging Bulls team. Without that pain relieving injection, Wade would have most likely not returned to the game and Miami’s chances of winning both game five and the series in general would have deteriorated dramatically.

And these are the controlled prescription painkillers.

When it comes to illegally prescribed painkillers, professional football, of all the major American sports, seems to have the biggest problem.

Despite the fact that, according to Freeman, “the use of strong, unprescribed painkillers and anti-inflammatories is not only against league rules, it is federally illegal;” that “medical staffs say hey prescribe fewer drugs and monitor their inventories better” and that “the league tests players for 10-12 substances including painkillers on a random, unannounced basis year round,” players eager enough to obtain illegal painkillers will find ways to get them.

So how do players obtain illegally prescribed painkillers?

“A few [athletes] have obtained drugs from pharmaceutical sales representatives by exchanging tickets to games or by promising access to locker rooms or to parties with NFL players,” says Freeman. “Players can get samples of Vicodin or Percocet in exchange for home or away games.”

Of course these transactions violate the Federal Controlled Substances Act, but DEA officials, during the same interview with Mr. Freeman, stated that “although they are aware such transactions occur, they are difficult to detect and result in few convictions.”

Regardless of whether painkillers are prescribed legally or obtained illegally by athletes, the fact remains that painkillers are just as dangerous to the human body, just as readily available, and just a menace to sporting society as steroids are.

Furthermore, athletes who abuse painkillers set just as bad of an example “for our children” as athletes who abuse steroids.

However, the mainstream media refuses to address this painkiller predicament.

Why?

Because the mainstream media does not give a hootenanny about cracking down on painkillers nor does it care about what type of negative message the allowance of painkiller abuse sends to our children.

There are two things the mainstream media cares about – ratings and revenue these ratings generate.

If this were not the case ESPN would not have taken the risky chance and launch Bonds on Bonds. But they did, and they are reaping the ratings and revenue generated by the controversial show.

And quite frankly, all of this is nothing but sheer and utter hypocrisy.

What's Eating Gilbert Arenas?

2006-05-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

Written May 1st, 2006

Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Shaquille O’Neil and Dirk Nowitski have been hands down, four of the most widely advertised, talked, and written about NBA superstars during this seasons battle for the Larry O'Brien Trophy.

Together, these men, in addition to Dwayne Wade and Steve Nash, have dominated television commercials, high profile interview shows, and newspaper articles throughout the nation – regardless of performance.

Yet there is one NBA player who, for one reason or another, seems to continue to be ignored by NBA basketball big wigs in most major cities throughout America.

His name is Gilbert Arenas.

Arenas, the fleet-footed and fiery, fifth year Washington Wizard shooting guard who slipped a mighty dagger into the heart of the Chicago Bulls during last years first round of playoff action, is arguably one of the best players in the NBA.

This regular season, Arenas, a two time NBA All-Star, is ranked 20th or higher in nearly every NBA category. Arenas ranked fourth in the league in scoring with 29.3 points per game, second in total steals with 161.0, and seventh with 33.3 points per 48 minutes. Arenas also averaged 6.1 assists per game and broke the Bullets/Wizards record for three pointers made with 209.
Arenas has also played exceptionally well against Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers during the first round of the playoffs. Through the first four games, Arenas has averaged 31.0 points, 5.8 rebounds, and 4.3 assists.

During the Wizards electrifying 106-98 come from behind victory last night, Arenas showed just what type of player he is. After shooting atrociously from the field and compiling just seven points during the first half, Arenas walked into the locker room at halftime, changed his seemingly unlucky uniform, regrouped, then rumbled back out onto the hardwood floor and torched the Cavaliers for 20 of his 34 points in the 4th quarter.

Arena’s performance was so exhilarating, Washington fans echoed the letters M-V-P over and over again while he stood at the free throw line and tied the game at 72 in the third quarter.
Yet despite all Arenas accomplished this season, his name rarely comes up in national sporting conversation, especially when the topic turns to MVP consideration.

Why is this happening?

Is it because Arenas is not flashy enough to attract the NBA spotlight like Kobe Bryant, Lebron James and Dwayne Wade?

Is it because he plays in Washington D.C. and not Miami or Los Angeles?

Does his lack of charisma or abundance of cockiness injure his chances of hearty media courtship?

While all of these factors may play an active role in Arenas’s lack of favor outside the Washington D.C./Baltimore Metropolitan area, the truth of the matter is this:

Gilbert Arenas turns the basketball over way too much.

Arenas turned the basketball over more than any other NBA player this season. He ranked first in the league in total turnovers with 297, first in turnovers per game with 3.71, and eighth in turnovers per 48 minutes with 4.21.

This is perhaps one of the biggest things preventing Arenas from earning the respect he desires and arguably deserves.

Once Arenas dramatically cuts down on turnovers, his game will not only ascend to MVP levels, but he will accomplish what most MVP winners in NBA’s past have done – make every basketball player around him better.

But until this happens, Arenas will be nothing more than an excellent individual basketball player frustratingly playing for a team that, while above average, will forever be chasing that mirage that is the NBA Title.

Restoring the Roar in Tigertown

2006-05-27T07:26:00.000-07:00

Written April 30th, 2006

Pride. Preparation. Patience. Perseverance.

These are four characteristics new Detroit Tiger skipper Jim Leyland has attempted to instill in his talented core of baseball players after snatching the reigns from Alan Trammell following last years disappointing 71-91 record.

Leyland, who was hired by Tigers General Manager Dave Dombrowski last October, has infused that Scotty Bowman, Rod Marinelli like mentality that has long been missing from the Tigers long storied franchise.

And thus far, Leyland’s attempts to return the Tigers to glory are yielding ripe but promising fruit.

As May comes pounding on Major League Baseball’s door, the Tigers with 15 wins and 9 defeats, find themselves all alone in second place, trailing the world champion Chicago White Sox by 1.5 games in the marathon for the American League Central Division Pennant, and find themselves leading the New York Yankees by 2.0 games for the American League wild card.

Twenty-four games into the 2006 baseball campaign, Leyland and company look like a completely different team and are displaying glaring signs of turning the corner and darting down progression street.

While it is true the Tigers still have things to work on like leaving too many runners in scoring position, middle relief, stealing bases, and drawing more walks, they appear much better prepared for ballgames, more selective at the plate (nowhere to go but up), and more persistent when opponents punch them in the jaw with comeback attempts during the later innings.
Offensively speaking the Tigers are on a tear. They are in the top ten in nearly every offensive category in the Major Leagues. Their newfound patience at the plate shows in their league fourth best 841 plate appearances.

As a team the Tigers are batting a scorching .287, which is good for fifth in the league, and are slugging .492, which is second in the league to the Toronto Blue Jays (.501).
The Tigers are also first in homeruns (38), fourth in hits (241), sixth in doubles (47), ninth in runs scored (127), tenth in runs batted in (117), and tenth in triples (10).

But as written earlier, the aggressively hitting Tigers still have a few glaring weaknesses it needs to address on offense. To be able to balance aggressiveness at the plate with patience and selectivity is perhaps one of the most difficult things to do in baseball. Right now the Tigers are struggling to find that balance.

Currently the team ranks seventh in the league in strikeouts with 165 and 26th in walks with just 64. These two factors are having a direct effect on the teams 13th ranked .343 on base percentage as well as its 23rd ranking in stolen bases (10).

Pitching wise, the Tigers are surprising everyone in baseball --minus those in the Leyland's clubhouse of course.

Led by embattled veteran Kenny Rogers, Detroit’s talented starting pitchers Mike Maroth, Nate Robertson, Jeremy Bonderman, and Justin Verlander (103 mph on radar) are displaying some much needed swagger that has not been seen in decades.

Something that also has not been seen in decades is the name “Tigers” perched near the top in Major League team pitching statistics.

But so far this season it is happening. The team’s 3.35 Earned Run Average is good for second in the league behind the New York Mets (3.06) and startling low .290 On Base Percentage leads the league.

Furthermore, the Tiger’s pitching staff is tops in the league, tied with the Houston Astros in shutouts with four, second in the league behind the New York Yankees with just 18 afforded homeruns, and fourth in the league with just 66 walks. By comparison, the Baltimore Orioles have walked 111 batters.

Defensively, the Tigers, while doing ok, still need to sure up a few things. While the team is currently second in the league in assists behind the St. Louis Cardinals with (274) and tenth in putouts with 636, the Tigers rank near the middle or lower in categories that can come back to haunt a team when bats go through droughts.

For example, the Tigers are 15th in the league in errors (14), 15th in turned double plays (24), and 20th in fielding percentage (.985). These are not incredibly alarming statistics but fielding will come into play in tight games against division rivals like the White Sox and Cleveland Indians.

But overall, the Tigers are doing very well thus far during this youthful baseball campaign. Jim Leyland and his staff have done a remarkable job with instilling their men with a sense of pride and preparing their men for baseball diamond battle every single day regardless of location (league leading 11-4 on the road).

Pride. Preparation. Patience. Perseverance.

As baseball fans let’s hope the Tigers can continue to achieve these four pivotal characteristics during the course of a grueling 162 game season.

Because the return to glory of one of baseballs oldest and most heralded baseball franchises is not only good for the rebuilding Motor City, it is also good for the slowly rebuilding momentum Major League Baseball.

And that in itself is reason to celebrate.

Pistons and Mavericks Beware

2006-05-27T07:25:00.000-07:00

Written April 29th, 2006

If there was one lesson the Detroit Pistons and Dallas Mavericks could take on the road to Milwaukee and Memphis during the first round of this years’ NBA playoffs, it would be this: do not, for one second, ease off the hard pressed accelerator.

While both teams are up two games to zero in their respective series,’ the game three losses by both the San Antonio Spurs and the Miami Heat should both provide toothpick eye opening examples of what happens when dominant teams, regardless of sport during this modern era, allow their foes to peek through the door and catch a glimpse of the basketball promise land – even if for the shortest period of time.

During an era when NBA rosters and professional sports rosters in general, minus the New York Yankees of course, are no longer stacked from top to bottom with talent, it is important for the Pistons and Mavericks to maintain that full throttle, afros out, balls to the wall mentality that the Spurs and Heat failed to bring to the hardwood the past few nights.

In a game of inches, momentum can change in the flap of fly's wing. The last thing the Pistons and Mavericks want to do is give hope to the currently demoralized Bucks and Grizzlies like the Spurs gave the Kings and the Heat gave the Bulls.

This is not to say that the Spurs and Heat will not eventually emerge victorious their respective series.’ Both the Spurs and Heat, in all their excellency will go back to the drawing board, learn from their game three mistakes and will perform much better during game four.

But in losing game three, both the Spurs and Heat, as well as a few other playoff teams failing to live up to its potential (i.e. Phoenix and New Jersey), have lost firm grasp of the most attractive benefit afforded to basketball teams during a grueling two-month playoff stretch.

Rest.

For the most part, the faster the elite teams close out first round play against lower seeds, the more time they usually get off to rest bumps and bruises and prepare for their next opponents.
In the case of the Pistons, it is essential they enter the Bradley Center tonight, pound its great iron fist on Milwaukee’s hardwood floor, and squash what little hope Michael Redd and the Bucks have left. With a 3-0 series lead, game four will be nothing more than a formality.
Then, while the other teams throughout the NBA continue to drain valuable energy, Flip and Company will get some much needed physical and psychological rest and the Pistons training staff will get some valuable time to get up close and personal with Rip Hamilton’s tweaked ankle.
The same thing goes for the Mavericks.

Memphis accumulated an outstanding 30-11 home record during the regular season. Therefore Dallas, in an effort to avoid the same fate as San Antonio and Miami, must bring the same tireless energy and relentless sprinters mentality to FedEx Forum against the Grizzlies like they did during the first two games in Dallas.

However, should Avery Johnson and his Run and Gun Gung-Ho Gang fail to bring the pain and subsequently lose game three to the Grizzlies, they may very well find themselves sprinting right into a longer series with Memphis than desired. And a longer series is the last thing Dallas needs, especially when looking down the road at the slue of other brilliant teams in the Western Conference.

The Windy City's New Bad Boy

2006-05-27T07:24:00.000-07:00

Written April 24th, 2006

Chicago Bull fans know this relentlessly working, trench dwelling, elbow throwing, foul decrying mortal all too well. Sporting columnists and radio hosts throughout the nation know him too. Opponents of this hardwood antagonist use terms like "Mr. Cheap Shot, "Crybaby," and "Public Enemy Number One" to describe him and his warrior style of play.

Rest your souls Bulls fans. Unclench your fists. Put those hyperventilation bags down - it is not the much maligned, long time Detroit Piston Bad Boy Bill Laimbeer.

Instead of throwing that half empty beer can at the computer monitor, stop, take a deep breath, put the can down, and take a moment to thank the basketball gods above that you now have your very own Bill Laimbeer.

His name is Andres Nocioni, and he has quickly become Chicago's long awaited for Bad Boy.
And Chicagoans love it.

While it is true that Nocioni has not yet perfected the art of antagonization like Laimbeer did, it is only a matter of time before he does.

Once Nocioni does does perfect the art of annoyance, basketball fans in the city Capone built will finally realize what a blessing it is to have a Laimbeer like player on on their team.
Then those once hard core feelings of hatred for Laimbeer, amongst Chicagoans will begin to soften.

Yeah. And Kim Jong Il loves America.

Missing Motown

2006-05-27T07:22:00.000-07:00

Written April 24th, 2006

While watching and hearing Baltimoreans entrench themselves in fierce battle over what to do about wretched Oriole owner Peter Angelos, a baseball icon named Elrod, and a once dominant Linebacker on a offensively absent Raven football team, I begin to miss my hometown of Motown more than ever.

Being absent from Detroit during playoff time is difficult to handle.

It is the time of year in the City when the Pistons and Red Wings violently jolts its faithful fans with electric volts powerful enough to momentarily influence the usually socially, racially and economically divided peoples to put aside their differences of opinion.

It is also the time of year when youth growing up in and around the the City of Champions get smacked square in the psyche and soul with sheer excitement and jubilation.

It is the time of year when thousands of people, regardless of race, sex, color or creed work in unison to paint the town red and white and red, white, and blue with hopes that Lord Stanley and Larry O'Brien will come marching down Woodward Avenue in a few months with news that they will be staying yet another year in an already championship wealthy town.

And it is the time of year when even the homeless, lonely and agonizingly pain-filled elderly find ways to momentarily defeat frown.

It is the time of year where most conversation in factories, mines, and steel mills; railyards, schoolyards and shipyards; and warehouse buildings, office buildings, and precinct buildings; revolves around the Wings own Yzerman, Shanahan and the mesmerizing five Swede ; and the Pistons Mr. Big Shot, Big Ben, Rip, Prince, and whom could forget the Wallace named SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED.

It is that time of year in the Motor City indeed.

It is the time of year when Afros pop up everywhere and where Octopi fly through Joe Louis Arena air before smashing to the playing surface like opposing basketball players attempting to drive on the Wallaces', McDyess and Prince at the Palace.

And it is the time of year when millions of Detroiters of all faiths standing before thousands of candle illuminated altar, thank the Almighty for the Pistons and Red Wings and pray for their success before pastors with raised chalice.

The Elrod "Ellie" Hendricks Debacle

2006-05-27T07:19:00.000-07:00

Written April 15th, 2006

The Elrod "Ellie" Hendricks debacle in the City of Baltimore on behalf of Orioles owner Peter Angelos and Company seems to exploit a much deeper problem in American sporting society.
Many franchise owners in professional athletics today seem to be quick to retire the numbers of athletes whom while putting up monstrous offensive statistics on the field, carried monstrous egos and chuckled at the very existence of the Ten Commandments off the field.

Meanwhile, immortality continues to escape people like Ellie.

Franchise owners like Angelos, who is a man whom possesses an approval rating equivalent to that of our current President in Baltimore, represents what is fundamentally wrong with professional athletics.

Angelos refuses to retire Hendrick's number although the majority of fans now clamor on a seemingly daily basis for him to render proper tribute to this man who gave so much to the Orioles and to the City of Baltimore. 37 years of service to be exact.

http://members.aol.com/vibaseball/hendricks.html

During an era when many of the sporting worlds greatest athletes perform community service with a cameraman in the room recording their activities for billions of easily manipulated mortals to see, Ellie was a breath of fresh air. He was not Shaq-a-Clause. He was not Peyton Manning. He was just Ellie.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2005/12/22/ AR2005122201833.html

Like Ellie’s son Ryan told those gathered at his father’s memorial, Ellie epitomized the Air Force core values: Integrity, Service Before Self, and Excellence in all you do.”

While Ellie did not compile tremendous hitting statistics, he possessed a defensive prowess that oftentimes goes unnoticed by baseball "experts." In 602 games as a catcher, Hendricks collected 2783 outs, 228 assists, 31 double plays, and committed just only 29 errors for a significant .990 fielding percentage (same as Detroit Tiger catcher Ivan Rodriguez). He is in fact, one of just two people in Major League history to catch 4 20 game winners in one season. He threw out 41 percent of opposing base stealers.

Off the field, Ellie possessed intangibles that reached far beyond the baseball diamond. Ellie had an electric smile, an unparalleled respect for the game of baseball, an impeccable ability to reach others regardless of age, and a kind of human decency that all mortals living in American society should adopt.

For 37 years Ellie served as the "face of the Orioles" and as the "Ambassador of Good Will" to the City of Baltimore. Everybody I have spoken to over the course of the past two weeks has an "Ellie" story that brings a smile to their faces when they tell it.

But at this point in history, Ellie’s defensive accomplishments and personal intangibles are not good enough for Peter Angelos and Company.

Although retiring Ellie's number would tell youth - youth whom need postive role models more than ever than before - that loyalty matters, that defensive statistics are just as important as offensive ones, and that the Ten Commandments still exist, Angelos and company continue to balk at the notion of retiring Elie's number.

To Angelos, the fact that Ellie was the last remnant of what used to be "The Oriole Way" means nothing. Yet he wonders why fan attendance at Camden Yards has plummeted since the 2001 baseball campaign, why constant negativity surrounds the Orioles organization, and why Washington Nationals fans are quickly popping up throughout the Baltimore-Washington DC Metropolitan area.

I can answer these questions by saying this: Angelos alienates the same ballplayers and ballpark goers who fill his pockets. Just like he did with Ellie on opening day 2006. He did just enough to get by with memorial festivities.

With the stadium barely beginning to fill up, Angelos and company ran a slide show memorial of Elrod on the big screen, informed the scattered audience that the Orioles will wear # 44 on their jerseys throughout this season, and had their son Ian throw out the first pitch.

They did just enough to avoid a major PR debacle.

Or so they thought.

To many, the events were actually a stab in the back to the Hendricks' family.
http://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/baseball/bal-sp.eisenberg04apr04,0,7275949.column?coll=bal-sports-baseball

Many fans were steamed that Ellie's number was not retired on opening day as they thought it would be. For example here is an e-mail response I received from Nestor Aparicio from Baltimore AM Sportsalk 1570 Radio Host:

"James: I loved Ellie as much as everyone else did...maybe more than a lot!!! BUT, I have no voice or energy or sense of obligation left to battle the indignities of the Angelos family in regard to the shitty way in which they conduct business and how they treat humanity...especially people who only want to do right by them...No depth is too deep for them to dive in their shallow sea of mindlessness and thoughtlessness in regard to how they've destroyed a great source of civic pride...and destroyed it for virtually everyone who truly cares about it...The Orioles are dead to me...BUT...Ellie's memory will never be retired in my mind...and that counts for more than anything Peter Angelos will ever say or do in regard to him."

Even Baltimore sports columnist John Eisenberg made a very good argument for retiring Ellie's number.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/baseball/bal-sp.eisenberg31mar31,0,7669162.column?coll=bal-sports-baseball

And now, nearly two weeks after the Hendricks' debacle, petitions like my own are beginning to pop up all over the Baltimore Metropolitan region and abroad.

Mine is at http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/Professional_Baseball I as well as many others would certainly appreciate your support in this endeavor. As you read the obituary taken from Ellie's obituary, you will see just exactly the type of person he was, and as you read the comments placed beside several of the 225 signatories, you will see just exactly how much Ellie was admired andrespected.

I thank you for taking the time to read this article, and I hope you will help me and others fight to retire Ellie's number.

For more information on Ellie please go to the following website:

'Ellie's Place' Was Beloved By All
http://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/baseball/bal-sp.hendricks23dec23,0,5965215.story?track=mostemailedlink
Elrod Hendricks: A Walking Fixture of the Orioles
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/22/AR2005122201833.html

Green Bay Finds Long Lost Sister City

2006-05-27T07:15:00.000-07:00

Written February 5th, 2006

Every May at midday in Gloucestershire England, during the Spring Bank Holiday Monday Festival, thousands of people from all over the world gather around Cooper’s Hill – a high grassed, rocky and rolling, two hundred fifty yard hill that flirts with the 90-degree angle – to watch a handful of brave contestants pursue the greatest of edible prizes – a seven pound wheel of cheese.

This wild and crazy event, which locals dub the Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling Competition, is one of the most painful yet entertaining races to watch and participate in.

The rules for this wild cheese chase are as follows:

There are no rules.

And it is this fact that makes the race so rip roarin funny to watch.

Rain or shine or breeze or calm, the pre-race atmosphere at Cooper’s Hill is booyah boisterous. Most of the hooting and hollering spectators are beyond inebriated as are the sometimes half-naked contestants sitting at the top of the hill.

Shortly before midday strikes, an announcer standing at the top of the hill does his or her best to rile up the crowd to cheer for the contestants whom are mentally preparing to fetch glorified cheese like drooling dogs fetch hickory sticks.

When midday arrives the gathered breaks forth into a countryside-waking chant: “Chase the cheese! Chase the cheese!” over and over again until the Chief of Cooper chucks the cheese downhill and the contestants go chasing thereafter.

The race itself is absolutely nuts. With the fans rooting for the contestants in the background, the contestants, now at peace with the Almighty, tear and tumble down the Cooper’s Hill sacrificing life and limb in relentless pursuit of the ultimate festival prize. Some contestants even go as far as clinging to other contestants like crabs cling to aspiring crabs in buckets in an unruly effort to prevent their short-term enemies from snatching their dreams.

This is in fact one of the only races in the world where human beings literally fly – fly right into the arms of beefy rugby players waiting at the bottom of the hill to make sure the contestants do not go plummeting through a bone-shattering fence standing before them.
Just think; all of this excruciating pain and agony partaken for a wheel of cheese.

And Packer fans think they are crazy.

Never Underestimate the Power of the Intangibles

2006-05-27T07:13:00.000-07:00

Written Feburary 2nd, 2006

The sporting world is filled with people whom deem individual athletes and franchises worthy or unworthy of praise based on tangible box score research, number crunching, and matchup histories. However, many of these people all too often forget to incorporate the most important aspect into their research--the intangibles.

With that said, the queston becomes why?

Why do people time and time again overlook the intangibles of athletes on the battlefield? Why do they deem it unneccesary to look beyond written statistics when evaluating the fate of individuals and franchises involved in all realms of the sporting world?

Furthermore, why do people continue to buy into the media driven hype strapped to athletes whom are possessed with an abundance of physical talent but cursed with short-fused, flaky and feeble minds? And why do people oftentimes buy into the painstakingly researched hype attached to franchises possessing a large compilation of big named superstars?

Have people not learned that it is almost certain that locker rooms filled with superstars are breeding grounds for egotism, jealousy and infighting? Do people not realize that even if these assembled stars do not self-destruct during the regular season, their flaws will usually be exposed during the playoffs?

How many times have you seen franchises that are deemed superior on paper fall victim to egotism and violent sideline bickering during the playoffs? How many times have you watched that ruthless predator named complacency rise from the depths and devour the heavily favored? Finally, how many times have you watched the Gods of Humility and Intangibility bestow extra strength, energy and courage to those united but utterly disrespected franchises to rise up and conquer the empires of busted bands of bickering ballplayers?

These situations have ocurred time and time again throughout history.

Look at the 2003-2004 Los Angeles Lakers. They had a high-profile, multi-championship ring wearing coach in Phil Jackson. They also possessed big named players like Shaquille O’Neil, Kobe Bryant, Gary Payton, Karl Malone, Derek Fisher, Horace Grant and Rick Fox. They had 56 regular season wins and eventually earned a well-deserved trip to the NBA Finals. The Lakers had it all. At least until they got spanked in five games by a united and motivated Detroit Pistons franchise whom the Lakers openly disrespected and whom “experts” predetermined did not have a chance in the world to emerge victorious.

Then there were the 1969 Baltimore Orioles. This team, which was stockpiled with big names like Boog Powell, Brooks Robinson, Jim Palmer, Frank Robinson, Dave McNally and Davey Johnson was heavily favored to defeat the New York Mets in the World Series that year. But once again, the Amazin Mets, a team with "nothing but Tom Seaver" and a bunch of “overachievers” routed the Orioles in five games.

There are many other examples, i.e. the 1995-1996 Detroit Russians err…Red Wings who smashed the NHL regular season record for wins before getting stomped by the Colorado Avalanche in the Conference Finals; the 1980 Russian hockey Gods who simply brushed aside every opponent they faced in the tournament before getting mowed down by a heavily unfavored team from the United States of America; the 2004 BostonRed Sox, who after falling down three games to zero to the largely named and largely funded New York Yankees, battled back to win the series four games to three; and lest we not forget last seasons stockpiled but empty-handed New York Yankees.

Most recently, Miami Heat GM/Coach Pat Riley abandoned a very successful team with an outstanding work ethic and steadily growing chemistry for a team full of egotistical mortals whom, he hopes will swallow their pride and follow Shaq to the promise land. But as of today, things are not working exactly as planned.

The examples are endless. And to those who are able to read between the lines and understand the importance of intangibles in the sporting world, it can be utterly frustrating -- especially when reading everyone "expert" opinion on the Super Bowl.

Winter Wonderland in the Desert

2006-05-27T07:09:00.000-07:00

Written January 29th, 2006

Dubai, which is one of the most prosperous and fascinating of the seven emirates making up the United Arab Emirates, has topped itself once again.

This desert-laden, gulf-confronting, peaceful golden jewel in the battle-ravaged Middle East; known for its breathtakingly modern architectural marvels like the Palm and World Islands, Dubai Marina, Burj Al-Arab Resort, Jumeirah Beach Hotel and the Wild Wadi Water Park to name a few; is now home to one of the coolest places on Earth – literally.

It is called Ski Dubai.

This 25 storied, 242 thousand plus square footed Majid Al Futtaim pioneered and engineered phenomenon is the first indoor skiing, snowboarding and tobogganing resort in the Middle East.
According to the Ski Dubai webpage, “Ski Dubai has five runs that vary in difficulty, height and steepness, the longest run being [1,300 ft] with a fall of over [196 ft]."

Guests can "test [their] skills on the world’s first indoor black run or practice turns on the gentle beginner slopes.

Skiers and snowboarders of all skill levels will enjoy these various slopes and snowboarders can also practice their stunts on [a 295 ft) long quarter pipe. Kids and parents alike will have fun in the huge interactive snow park, which at [9,842 ft] is the largest indoor snow park in the world.”

Furthermore, this comfortably temperatured, mountain themed resort harbors 1,500 guests at one time. During the daytime, skiiers climb aboard a long quad airlift before racing down 6,000 tons of 2 foot thick snow.

Guests who are not educated in the art of snow gliding but would like to learn, have the ability to seek the knowledge and experience of qualified professional instructors.

When hunger and thirst strikes after a long day of skiing, guests can deploy to Ski Dubai's numerous restaurants, cafes and party rooms.

Finally, if skiing in the desert is fun for loved ones but not for you, Ski Dubai is also the centerpiece of the world’s largest shopping mall called The Mall of the Emirates
This mall includes 400 stores, thirty themed restaurants and a five star hotel called the Kempinski Hotel Mall of the Emirates.

For more information about Ski Dubai or Dubai itself please click on the underlined links. To see more of Dubai's impressive architectural achievments please go to the following webpage: http://www.jumeirah.com/portfolio/

The "Sex Sells" Philosophy: Is WW II Women's Baseball Partially Responsible?

2006-05-27T07:04:00.000-07:00

Written January 27th, 2006

Chicago Newspaper – Fall 1942:

As the autumn season invades the United States, millions of American men and women of age and ability are being drafted, trained, and deployed to the European and Pacific Theatres of the World to defeat the major axis forces of Germany, Italy and Japan.

As this article is being written, German Forces in Poland are working expeditiously to transport mortals who do not qualify to be part of the Nazi Master Race to concentration and extermination camps throughout Europe. At the same time, American Air Forces like the Mighty Eighth are streaking across French territory and blanketing the arrogant and aggressive German forces with a barrage of bombs; Russian Forces are settling in for a bloody fight against invading Germans in Stalingrad; and back in America, the continuously motoring mind of Chicago Cub Owner Philip K. Wrigley is earnestly working to figure a way to keep America’s favorite pastime afloat until those implementing the Arsenal of Democracy can emerge victorious and return home.

New York City Newspaper – That Same Year:

Nearly one month ago, Chicago Cub owner Mr. Philip K. Wrigley: the man who feared the World War II draft would shut down major league baseball as it has with the minor leagues, asked Cub General Manager Ken Sells to establish and head a committee of visionaries to come up with ideas to assure the survival of major league baseball until the end of the war. Today, the Sells Committee, after much heated but healthy debate, has gone before Mr. Wrigley and thrown him a progressive but risky pitch that he could not resist taking a swing at – the establishment of an All American Girls Baseball League.

Narrator:

Both Wrigley and the Sells Committee knew that women’s softball had been thriving in thousands of towns and cities throughout the United States during this time in history. With this fact in mind, Wrigley quickly deployed an experienced squadron of professional baseball scouts to scour these communities for talented softball playing women who would not only be able to thrill and entertain baseball loving fans and subsequently assure the survivability of the beloved game, but who would also be able to “epitomize the highest ideals of womanhood.”

Baltimore Newspaper – May 16, 1943:

Hundreds of talented female softball players from around this glorious but embattled nation checked into the Belmont Hotel today, one day prior to taking part in Major League tryouts at Wrigley Field. For the next two weeks, these women will battle each other for the right to play for one of four teams: the Racine Belles, South Bend Blue Sox, Kenosha Comets, and Rockford Peaches.

Narrator:

Tryouts for the aforementioned baseball teams were anything but a walk in the park. They were more like boot camp. Every day until opening day, league coaches thoroughly grilled, tested, and evaluated these women on their fielding, catching, throwing, hitting, running, and sliding abilities.

To say that competition for a roster spot on one of the four major league teams was fierce is an understatement. “At the end of [each] day,” wrote Jeneane Lesko, author of the History of All American Girls Professional League “no one wanted to answer the phone for fear of being told they would have to pack and go home." Those who survived the various cuts signed fairly lucrative contracts for the day with their respective teams.

However, with these contracts came increased and seemingly controversial responsibility. Mr. Wrigley was a man of image who wanted his talented but sometimes ill-mannered female ballplayers to not only look as beautiful as possible, but also to uphold what it meant to be a 1940s era woman. Therefore, all newly signed athletes were required by Mr. Wrigley to attend “Charm School,” every day after practice. The Forward portion of the Charm School Guide explains Mr. Wrigley’s purpose. It states:

When you become a player in the All American Baseball League, you have reached the highest position that a girl can attain in this sport. The All American Girls Baseball League is getting great public attention because it is pioneering in a new sport for women.

You have certain responsibilities because you too, are in the limelight. Your actions and appearance both on and off the field reflect the whole profession. It is not only your duty to do your best to uphold the standard of this profession but to do your level best to keep others in line.

The girls in our league are rapidly becoming the heroines of youngsters as well as grownups all over the world. People want to be able to respect their heroines at all times. The All American Girls Baseball League is attempting to establish a high standard that will make you proud that you are a player in years to come.

We hand you this manual to help guide you in your personal appearance. We ask you follow the rules of behavior for your own good as well as that of the future success of girl’s baseball.
The Guide goes on to state the mandates for these women. For example, all players were required to carry an All American Girls League Beauty Kit composed of basic hygienic products like deodorant, lipstick, rouge, and hair remover. Players were also required to adhere to specific pre-game and post-game beauty routines, wardrobe selections, and mannerisms.

And todays athletes think they have it rough.

Rockford Illinois Newspaper – Late May 1943:

If American men throughout this nation were not already eagerly awaiting the inaugural opening day matchups between the four teams of the All American Girls Baseball League, they sure are now.

Yesterday, female ballplayers around the inaugural league strapped on their new Otis Shepard designed, Philip Wrigley mandated uniforms. The collaborative reaction to the look and feel of these one piece, short skirted uniforms and accompanying satin tights, knee high baseball socks, and baseball hats, has been anything but positive. “We’re not figure skaters, we’re ballplayers” said one of the ballplayers who asked her name not be disclosed. “These uniforms are atrocious,” said another ballplayer. Not only are they uncomfortable, but there is nothing to protect our legs from bleeding and bruising after we slide.” Non baseball playing women also took insult to the uniforms. “Mr. Wrigley’s message to both his ballplayers and to the nation is clear,” said feminist Eleanor Smith. “He will tolerate no tomboys in his baseball league.” Men have their own views on the matter at hand.

Narrator:

The All American Girls Baseball League achieved surprisingly overwhelming success during its 10 year history (1942-1952). Not only did this league balloon from four teams to nine teams at one point, and not only did it thrill and entertain millions of baseball fans and patriots worldwide, but it also, according to Jeneane Lesko, “gave over 600 women athletes the opportunity to play at a professional level of baseball never before attained.”

However, while many sporting enthusiasts and historians deem the All American Girls Baseball League to be a successful endeavor, many feminists and libertarians have and still continue to question Mr. Wrigley’s “zero tolerance for Tomboys” philosophy. Some even argue that Mr. Wrigley’s policies and mandates for somewhat skimpy uniforms were primarily engineered to draw male audiences and to avoid the image of lesbianism. Some have even gone as far as saying that Mr. Wrigley and his ballplayers were primarily responsible for laying the foundation for the philosophy that sex sells.

With that said, do you think that Mr. Wrigley was right in implementing his aforementioned policies? Furthermore, do you think feminists and libertarians are correct or incorrect in their assertions? Finally, what other factors may have played a role in the success of the All American Girls Baseball League? I look forward to hearing your replies.

For more information about the All American Girls Baseball League please go to http://www.aagpbl.org

Newspapers mentioned above are fictitious but information is factual.

Special thanks to Jeneane Lesko.

Full Metal Jacket in Motown

2006-05-27T07:01:00.000-07:00

Written January 23rd, 2006

Lions Training Camp: July 2006:

The strangest series of dramatic events unfolded at the Detroit Lions Training Camp in Allen Park Michigan today. While Lion gridironers carelessly rumbled around the team locker room before their first official practice pulling pranks, initiating rookies, and partaking in crude and wildly over-exaggerated conversation, a fair-skinned mortal with fiery eyes, a thick nose, and a fear inflicting jaw ripped the coaches office door open and stormed into the locker room wearing Jungle fatigues, black spit-shined combat boots, and a drill instructor cap.

In the drop of a top hat, all rowdy activity within the locker room came to a screeching halt. As this talented but undisciplined group of muscle-bound men stared down the barrel of the former U.S Army infantryman and Vietnam Veteran standing before them, an easily recognizable and long awaited feeling quickly overwhelmed their souls. That feeling was fear.

And as this embattled mortal walked along the line of football players like Gunnery Sergeant Hartman did his new Marine Recruits in the movie Full Metal Jacket, the football players had no choice but to prepare themselves for the wrath that was soon to be imposed upon them.

“I am Rod MARINElli, your new Head Coach. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be “Sir!” Do you maggots understand that!
Roy Williams and company confusingly stared at each other before embarrassingly muttering “Sir, yes, sir!”
“Bull (explicative)” barked Marinelli as if he were utterly unimpressed with his men’s effort, “I can’t hear you. Stand like men and sound off like you got a pair.”
The players in the locker room suddenly popped to attention as if they were beginning to believe in their new coach and in themselves.
“Sir, yes, sir!” they loudly replied.
“If you ladies survive my training camp,” said a red-faced Marinelli, “you will be weapons; you will be ministers of destruction, praying for gridiron warfare. But until that day you are pukes! You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human beings. You’re nothing but unorganized pieces of amphibian (explicative)!
I am hard. You will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair! There is no positional bigotry here. I do not look down on undisciplined and ill-handed receivers; feebly blocking offensive linemen, and safeties who tackle like girls do in powder puff games. Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all players who do not pack the gear to serve on my beloved football team! Do you maggots understand that?”
“Sir, yes sir!”
“Bull (explicative)! I can’t hear you!”
“Sir, yes Sir!
After walking up and down the lines of men a few times, Marinelli stopped dead in his tracks and faced his first victim.
“What’s your name, scumbag?”
“Sir, Charles Rogers sir!”
“Bull (explicative)! From now on your name is Private Twinkle Toes! Do you like that name?”
“Sir, no sir!”
“Do you want to play for my beloved football team Private Twinkle Toes?”
“Sir, yes sir!”
“Well, there’s one thing that you won’t like Private Twinkle Toes, they don’t sell pot and malt liquor in my mess hall. Do you understand me?”
“Sir, yes sir!”
Marinelli suddenly heard someone whisper “Is this guy for real?”
“Who said that?” screamed Marinelli while tearing across the locker room.
“Who the (explicative) said that? Who’s the slimy little pansy scum bucket down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh! The fairy (explicative) godmother said it! Outstanding! I will P.T. you all until you die!
Marinelli grabbed the first player he could by the Honolulu Blue jersey – running back Kevin Jones.
“Was it you, you scroungy little maggot, huh?”
“Sir, no sir!”
“You little piece of (explicative), I bet it was you!”
“Sir, it wasn’t me, sir I swear!”
“You swear huh? Were you about to call me an (explicative) hole?”
All of a sudden a man with a Jesus-like beard stepped up and took accountability for making the smart aleck remark.
“Sir it was me who said it!”
“Well…no bull (explicative),” said Marinelli, “What have we here, a comedian? I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. What’s your name son?”
“Sir, Joey Harrington, sir!”
“Joey (explicative) Harrington,” said Marinelli while donning a sarcastic smile. “I heard your name before. You’re the quarterback who loves to fire the football 3 yards downfield on a 3rd and 5 to the opposing team.
“Sir, yes sir!”
"Do you like aiding the enemy Harrington?
“Sir, no sir!”
“Bull (explicative)! I think you like throwing the ball to the other team. Where are you from Harrington?
“Sir, Oregon sir!”
“Holy dogpoo! Oregon! Were you born in a barn?”
“Sir, no sir!”
“Were you raised with cattle?”
“Sir, no sir!”
“Really? Because I’ve seen crippled cows run faster than you under pressure!”
From now on your name is “Private Cattlechaser, do you hear me?”
“Sir, yes sir!”
“Let me hear you moo!”
Harrington looked perplexed. “Moo sir?”
“Did I stutter Private Cattlechaser? Yes Moo!”
Harrington gave a half-hearted attempt at a moo.
“What the hell is that? You call that a moo! Reach into your diaphragm and moo like you got a pair!”
Harrington followed Marinelli’s order by letting one rip.
“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” he screamed prompting Detroit Lion Guard Rick DeMulling to bust out laughing.
Marinelli walked down the line and faced DeMulling.
“What’s your excuse?”
“Sir, excuse for what sir?”
“I’m asking the questions here, scumbag. Do you understand?"
“Sir, yes sir!”
“Well thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while?”
“Sir, yes sir!”
“Do you think I’m cute, DeMulling? Do you think Harrington is funny?
With a slight residue of comedy on his face DeMulling answered.
“Sir, no sir!”
“Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face!”
“Sir, yes sir!”
A momentary pause filled the locker room.
“Well any (explicative) time sweetheart,” screamed Marinelli
“Sir, I’m trying, sir.”
“DeMulling, I’m gonna give you three seconds – exactly three (explicative) seconds to wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-(explicative) you! One! Two! Three!
DeMulling pursed his lips but continued to smile involuntarily.
“Sir, I can’t help it sir!”
Marinelli grabbed DeMulling by his shirt collar and drove him into his locker. “Bull (explicative)! I’ve got your name DeMulling! I’ve got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You had best un(explicative) yourself or I will unscrew your head and (explicative) down your neck do you understand me!”
“Sir, yes sir!” said a no longer smiling and obviously shaken DeMulling.
“There is something you all better recognize very quickly,” said an impassioned Marinelli as he turned his attention to the rest of the team, “the days of playing pansy football are over in Detroit. The fans you represent in this city are tough and battle-tested mortals who spend their hard-earned factory money, not to watch you get the snot kicked out of you by your opponents, but to watch you kick the snot out of your opponents. It is about time each of you begins to understand this. Now get your (explicative) football pads on, get out onto that field, and show me you want to be here!”

Two Weeks Later:

A battered and bruised but slowly bonding band of brothers trudged back into the locker room and hit the showers after partaking in the most grueling and discipline-filled practices since Marinelli took over as the Lions Drill Instructor.
Once each Lion player finished dressing his battle wounds and finished getting dressed Pro Bowl Cornerback Dre Bly ordered his teammates to assume the position. Upon command each player grabbed a football from their respective locker that Marinelli issued them during the first day of training camp and waited.
At exactly 1700 hours (5:00 pm) Coach Marinelli emerged from his office and, after he constructively addressed his team, ordered his men to “pray.”
Upon hearing their drill instructor’s order, each gridironer raised his parallel football to the heavens with both hands like a minister raises a cup of Jesus Juice, and barked the following in unison:
“This is my football. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My football is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me my football is useless. Without my football, I am useless.”
The chorus suddenly ceased as Joey Harrington stepped forward and conducted a solo.
“I must fire my football true. I must fire my football straighter than my enemy who is trying to defeat me.”
Harrington stepped back into the pack and the team prayer continued.
“Before God I swear this creed. My football and myself are defenders of this team. We are masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life. So be it…until there is no enemy…but peace. Amen.”
Once the Detroit Lion team concluded its prayer, Marinelli yelled “order…hut!” And each player tucked their football in their right arms.
“At ease ladies!” said Marinelli. “Put your footballs away and go home.”

Detroit Lion fans pray too that Rod Marinelli succeeds in instilling a sense of discipline and pride within the talented but underachieving group of gridiron gentlemen. And they pray the Lions do it quickly, before William Clay Ford and Company finds themselves rebuilding once again.

When Stars Collide: A Brief History of the Fusion of Politics and Athletics

2006-05-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

Written January 18th, 2006

Much discussion has arisen in the wake of the decision made by the United States Government to disallow Cuba to participate in the World Baseball Classic. While many mortals have their own, and at times, very heated opinions on the matter at hand, the fact remains that as long as there have been nations there has been political intervention in national and international athletics.

Since the violent but prestigious wrestling, boxing, and stick fighting days between the dominant social classes of Mesopotamia, history has produced numerous examples regarding cross politic-athletic pollination.

One of the first cases involved Ancient Greece. The Greeks were notorious for blending politics with athletics. According to the University of Pennsylvania Museum, in an article titled, The Real Story of the Ancient Olympic Games, “The celebration of the Olympic Games in antiquity was an occasion for citizens of scattered Greek city-states to assemble. At the Games they discussed important political issues, celebrated common military victories and even formed political and military alliances.” On the other hand, the Ancient Olympics were also the source of political conflict because, he who controlled the sanctuary and the games gained prestige, economic affluence, and political advantages.

Then there were the Ancient Romans. Gladiatorial games aside, according to N.S. Gill, Latinist and World History researcher and writer for http://www.about.com, “an Olympic victor was crowned with an olive wreath (laurel wreath was the award for another of the Panhellenic games -- the games at Delphi) and had his name inscribed in the official Olympic records. Some Olympic victors were fed for the rest of their lives by their poleis, although they were never paid. They were considered heroes and conferred honor upon their city-states.” Furthermore, several Olympic victors went onto have very prestigious and affluent political and military careers.

So did many aristocratic knights who lived during medieval times. The medieval world, much like the previously mentioned worlds, hosted many events that were intended to entertain political leaders and general audiences. One of these events was called “the tournament.” During these, “tournaments” two armored, steed straddling knights blazed towards each other going full throttle with their lances aimed straight at each others head, shoulders, and chest. The main objective of a knight was to spear his opponent and subsequently knock him from his steed. Of course all this was done for the sheer entertainment of the king, his queen and the general public. However, while these tournaments were indeed entertaining they, much like the Olympics of Ancient Greece and Rome, carried with them several political and economical perks.

Modern history is also littered with evidence regarding the infeasible separation of sport and state. For example:

- Prior to the 1936 Berlin Olympics, German Fuhrer Adolph Hitler and Company embarked
upon a politically inspired “German Master Race” propaganda campaign, only to be angrily
humbled when American Jessie Owens walked away with four gold medals as well as a few
new world records.

- Just ten days before the beginning of the Mexico City Olympics in October 1968, thousands of
Mexican students gathered outside their nation’s militarily occupied National Polytechnic
Institute in Tlatelolco to clamor for democratic reform and social justice. Mexico’s President
at the time, Gustavo Diaz Ordaz, ordered the occupation of the aforementioned institute a
month prior to the Olympics in an effort to suppress the protesters and cause minimum
disruption to the Olympics. However, Ordaz failed to meet his objectives, and in the end, the
Mexican Army opened fire upon and killed more than 250 protesters.

- Two weeks later, at the same Olympics, two African American track stars named Tommy
Smith and John Carlos climbed the victory podium at Olympic Stadium, not just to accept
victory medals for finishing 1st and 3rd in the 200m, but also to demonstrate their
disapproval of the continuing discrimination of African Americans in the United States and
abroad. With the American National Anthem playing loudly in the background, these shoeless,
black socked men bowed their heads and raised their black-gloved fists to the firmament as a
symbol of the power of African Americans. Although this bold demonstration of “black power”
by Smith and Carlos infuriated most of white America, it helped to inspire the disenfranchised
to take a stand against racism and inequality.

- In Munich in 1972, eight members of a Palestinian terror group called Black September
slipped into an Olympic village just outside the Olympic city and took eleven Israeli athletes
and coaches’ hostage. Nearly 22 hours later, every hostage and terrorist perished during a
miserably failed rescue mission.

- During the summer of 1980, the United States, as well as sixty other nations, boycotted the
Soviet Union hosted Olympics out of protest against the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. This
Cold War boycott was the largest in Olympic history.

- That same year, at Lake Placid New York, the United States hockey team flexed its mighty,
freedom loving muscles before the Communist loving Soviet skaters, before going on to defeat
them 4-3 in the semi-finale.

- During the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics, the Soviet Union fired back at the United States by
ordering its athletes to stay home.

- Later that year, South Korean President Roh Tae Woo personally felt the political power
imposed on him by the Olympic world, when the international media pressured him to
surrender to the democratic reform demands brought on by its citizens. Five months before
Woo opened the Seoul Olympic Games, he allowed this once military operated nation to hold
free elections.

Other sports/state mergers gone awry revolve around: the 1968 Detroit Tigers during the Motor City’s infamous race riots, Pakistani and Indian cricket, Pele and Brazilian soccer, African nations boycotting Montreal Olympics, the O.J Simpson trial, and Lance Armstrong’s battles with the French government.

So as you can see, Cuban athletes are not the only ones feeling the wrath of the stingy ideologies of this politically strange world. While it does not seem fair that these athletes have worked their entire lives to perfect their respective arts, only to fall victim to ideological nonsense, the fact of the matter remains that these athletes are part of a historical and futuristic problem – the world’s inability to separate state from sport.

Thus, until people in key leadership positions throughout the world cease participating in those seven infamous deadly sins that cause most problems in the first place, athletes throughout the world will continue to face political/athletic blending problems in the future. Call this a defeatist attitude if you will. But as an American troop who consistently deals with horrible atrocities committed by men and women in the undying name of extreme ideology, I call it logic.

Rocking the Cradle of Civilization: Chronicles of the Iraqi National Football Team

2006-05-27T06:50:00.000-07:00

Written January 9th, 2006

The 1968 New York Jets, the 1980 United States Hockey Olympiads, the 2003-2004 Detroit Pistons, and the 2004 Boston Red Sox are four athletic franchises that oftentimes pop up on the conversational radar as franchises that constantly found ways to emerge victorious despite facing great adversity and seemingly insurmountable odds. However, while thousands of enthusiastic mortals’ flock to bookstores each year to purchase illustrious works related to these aforementioned franchises, a more remarkable story revolving around a considerably more unfortunate but inarguably more perseverant band of brothers sits uncomfortably upon the shelves waiting to be noticed.

This anonymously written, three chapter story called Rocking the Cradle of Civilization:

Chronicles of the Iraqi National Football Team, is certainly unlike any other story in world history. It is a story about a courageous and passionate group of highly skilled and well conditioned athletes who participate in one of the oldest and exhilarating games on the planet in a bloody, battle ravaged region roughly 8,000 miles to the East of Washington D.C. This story, which begins during the Iran-Iraq War in 1988, speaks to the types of torture and tragedy men will endure to triumph over unfulfilled dreams.

During the initial chapter of this Chronicle titled; “Uday Hussein: The Most Tyrannical Chairman in Sporting History,” the author provides readers a quick look into the erratic and violent life of Uday Hussein: former National Olympic Committee Chairman and first son of imprisoned Iraqi Dictator Saddam Hussein.

Uday, much like his father, exemplified the definition of wretchedness. This money loving girlie mongering mortal committed his first murder in 1988 at the rowdy age of 24. This murder occurred shortly after Uday got into a drunken argument with his father’s personal valet and food taster at a state-sponsored party. To keep a long story short, Uday repeatedly fist whipped his food loving opponent before slaughtering him to death with a butcher knife. Upon receiving news regarding Uday’s accomplishment, Saddam, who was notorious for executing, gassing, and torturing his own people; rewarded his son, not with a smile, cigar, and big pat on the back, but with imprisonment and subsequent banishment to Switzerland. In retrospect, Saddam should have sent Uday to anger management class because, shortly after Uday arrived in Switzerland, he whipped out a knife and threatened to slice and dice another man to death during an argument at a prominent restaurant. Again, Uday was imprisoned and subsequently deported, only to be bailed out and “rehabilitated” by his tough loving father. Just how Saddam “rehabilitated” his troubled son remains a mystery.

What is not enigmatic however, is that this rehabilitation failed miserably, for Uday continued his wicked behavior once he gained control of the National Olympic Committee. During his reign as Chairman, Uday oversaw the brutal torture and imprisonment of Iraqi athletes who did not live up to his high expectations. Not one single athlete in any sport was exempt from Uday’s brutality; not even members of the widely beloved Iraqi National Football Team. In fact, most of these soccer players were oftentimes the recipients of some of Uday’s worst acts of humiliation, torture, and imprisonment. For example many underperforming football players as well as other athletes were escorted to a torture chamber below Al-Shaab Stadium and:

- Given bloody head shavings
- Forced to play soccer games using concrete balls in 130 degree heat
- Given fist whippings or slappings for every errant pass made in practice or games
- Dragged over rough concrete until their backs were raw
- Dragged into sand pits after being dragged over concrete so sand sticks in their open wounds
- Forced to jump into sewage vats
- Locked into iron maidens
- Forced to wear suffocating steel masks
- Forced to step into a head to toe steel case with internal spikes that gouged the victim when
the two halves were closed
- Were poked and scraped with long rusty nails
- Had their fingers shattered after placing them in finger vices
- Tied to a bed before being repeatedly foot whipped with wooden canes

To add insult to injury, many underperforming athletes were often imprisoned without the luxury of food following torture. As a result of this atrocious treatment, many athletes played the game, not for fun or for pride of nation, but in sheer and utter fear. As far as these players were concerned, there was literally no room for failure. And professional athletes in America think they have it rough.

In Chapter Two titled, “Field of Nightmares,” the author talks about the impact the War in Iraq had upon the Iraqi National Football Team, and also about the ultimate fate of Uday Hussein, his equally tyrannical brother Qusay, and their father Saddam.

In order to place the reader in the shoes of an Iraqi National Football team player during the early weeks of the Iraqi war, the author asks the audience to:

Imagine that you are a midfielder for the Iraqi National Football team. One day you and your teammates are practicing at Al-Shaab Stadium for an upcoming game, when all of a sudden, everyone on your team is interrupted by the sight of four fully armed F-16 fighter aircraft zooming overhead and by the sound of rolling thunder generated by distant B-52 bomber aircraft, as well as multiple hissing sounds generated by Iraqi air defense artillery and missiles. However, you as well as your teammates don't really react because everyone on the team has gotten used to all the bombing, missiling, and raiding of surrounding buildings, agencies, and palaces. In fact, these existing aircraft serve as refreshing symbols of freedom: freedom from the atrocious campaign of torture, imprisonment, and starvation previously upheld by Uday and his cronies.

By this time in history, the city of Baghdad had fallen, but pockets of resistance still existed in surrounding areas; and Iraq’s dictator, as well as his two sons had been on the run from American GIs and their respective allies for some time now. The author continues:
But then, just as your team is about to break up and play a scrimmage match, a thunderous explosion, courtesy of a precision guided bomb released from the belly of a B-52 on a nearby enemy target, rocks the stadium to the point where every footballer on the team finds themselves laying face first in the ground. Fearing for the safety of his football players, National team’s head coach Adnan Hamad musters his men and orders them to go home and be with their families.

Heeding the orders of Coach Hamad, you and everyone else on the field make a mad dash towards the parking lot before sliding into your automobile. As you buckle your seatbelt, your heart begins to beat rapidly. No longer do you have the luxury of solace the stadium once provided. Thus, as you press gently on the accelerator and leave the stadium parking lot, you pray that the Almighty will provide you the strength to overcome the numerous obstacles sitting in between yourself and your hometown of Mosul.

Fortunately, despite seeing fully armed coalition helicopters lurking overhead and despite being hawked by several coalition Humvees for quite some time, you manage to pull up to the home where your father, his three wives, and your two brothers live.

But, not even 10 seconds after your KIA vehicle stopped, a fellow neighbor hands you a machine gun and orders you to protect a 400 member tent encampment that had been constructed shortly before the war began.

After spending nearly 40 sleepless nights in this encampment with constant fear of attack from bandits loyal to Saddam, a voice emerges on coalition radio inside the tent. It is Coach Hamad. “It is time to return to Baghdad for football practice,” he says in a composed yet hesitant tone.
With everyone in the encampment cheering you on, you get back into your car and drive back to Baghdad; only to return and see that Al-Shaab stadium, as well as everything else in the city looked as if it had received a visit from hell. Al-Shaab Stadium was no longer a beacon of peace for the football players. Instead it was a bombed out, looted, and charred mission staging headquarters for the American GIs as well as a resting place for the same tanks and support vehicles that had managed to chew up the soccer field. The overwhelming sight of Baghdad and its once beautiful stadium, when combined with everything you have experienced over the course of the past three and a half months, makes you break down and cry.

While you sit in your car with your head resting upon the steering wheel, you wonder what will happen next. While in mid thought, you hear news on your barely turned up radio that that American Forces captured and killed Uday and Qusay Hussein during a six hour operation at a home on the northern edge of Mosul. As you look around at all the death and destruction in the capitol city of the nation you proudly represent, this coalition victory seems bittersweet.

For the next year or so, the 50th world ranked Iraqi National Football team practiced whenever and wherever they can to prepare for games against other formidable opponents living outside its embattled borders. It was also during this year when, a well respected and prominent white haired football coach from Germany named Bernd Stange took over as head coach. Stange as well as Hamad worked diligently to train and fund their football team, while at the same time waging a bitter war on blatant corruption on behalf of several Iraqi members within the Federation Internationale de Football Association (FIFA).

Due to the war, the Iraqi National Team was not unable to play inside its own borders, nor did it have enough money for uniforms, soccer shoes, equipment, and travel. However, after several surrounding nations stepped up to the Iraqi plate, the national team was able to press on with its objectives.

By December 2004, this determined football team, despite the constant threat of violence and death, was beginning to make waves not just inside Iraq, but in the international community as well. So was Saddam Hussein, who on 14 December, was discovered hiding in a six foot hole in Tikrit by American Special Forces from the 4th Infantry Division, who subsequently captured him without any fight whatsoever.

Finally, during the third and final chapter titled, “Blooming Roses amongst Weeds,” the author discusses the early parts of Post War Iraq and the fate of Iraq’s National Football Team.
The author opens the chapter by saying, “with danger and mass instability lurking around every nook and cranny of Baghdad and beyond, the Iraqi National Football pressed on with its mission of to fulfill a dream of returning to the Olympics.” Iraq took an enormous leap towards accomplishing this feat in March of 2004 when the International Olympic Committee reinstated the embattled nation.

Then, on May 13, 2004, the Iraqi nation, regardless of sex, race, or religion, broke forth, not into violence, but into pure joy following Iraq’s Olympic Qualifying football victory over Saudi Arabia.

Still, as the Iraqi football players embarked on its journey to Athens that fall, nobody outside the Middle East took them seriously.

But then they defeated Portugal.

Then they defeated Australia in the Quarterfinal, which stirred up both the international media and Iraqi national pride.

Then, during a barnburner of a semi-final game, Iraq, despite having numerous opportunities to pull out the victory, lost a tough game to Italy.

Call this a minor setback for a team that has gone through such major misery since the days of Saddam and Uday. Call it what you will. But the fact of the matter remains that many football head coaches and players on other Middle-Eastern and European teams know that it is only a matter of time before Iraq returns to its pre-Iran/Iraq war greatness.

Today, the slowly rebuilding nation of Iraq lies in the most fragile bed of democratic infancy. It is a nation filled with proud and diverse people who have experienced some of the worst atrocities known to mankind. However, if the Iraqi National Football Team continues playing the way it has since the fall of the Hussein Regime, and if Iraqi and international leadership continues to strive towards progression, the former diamond of the Middle East may glimmer once again.

The Overshadowing of Baseball Legends

2006-05-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

Written January 9th 2006

During the dramatic course of the sometimes superficial history of professional baseball, several agenda seeking media outlets along with thousands of casually following sporting fans have unfairly chosen to demonize and demoralize certain franchises and players because they challenged the status quo, held certain personality traits, threatened to shatter records set by legendary predecessors, and made key errors at critical times.

The forthcoming article will detail and defend one scandal-ridden professional baseball franchise and three legendary ballplayers that fell under the auspices of the previously mentioned situations.

Comiskey Mountaineers Versus The Jackson Weavers

The 1919 Chicago White Sox, which is best remembered for throwing the World Series to the Cincinnati Reds, may very well be the most embattled sporting franchise in American History. Since the day news pertaining to potential baseball scandal emerged for all eyes to see and all ears to hear, this team has bathed in controversy on both sides of the aisle of sporting debate.
On one side of the aisle stands a majority of mortals called the Comiskey Mountaineers. These people not only vehemently defend Chicago White Sox owner Charles Comiskey and his cronies for their treatment of its ballplayers’ but they also uphold the following clean cut, simple as that statement echoed by Judge Kennesaw Mountain Landis shortly after a grand jury acquitted the eight baseball players involved in the August 1921 “Black” Sox trial:

“Regardless of the verdicts of juries, no player who entertains proposals or promises to throw a game, no player who sits in conference with a bunch of crooked players and gamblers where the ways and means of throwing games are discussed and does not promptly tell the club about it will ever play professional baseball.”

On the other side of the aisle stands a minority of mortals called the Jackson Weavers. These people refer to the eight infamous defendants as sporting heroes who epitomized American democracy by taking a stand against the oppressive Reserve Clause that had been implemented throughout professional baseball. They argue that the Chicago White Sox brought hope and happiness to a nation that had previously been wracked with bloody trench warfare, death assuring famine, and blatant employer abuses. They also argue that Charles Comiskey lined his own pockets with admission ticket money that was to be given to his sweating, bleeding, and bruising ballplayers on the field of baseball battle; that Comiskey paid his finest ballplayers like Joe Jackson and Buck Weaver nearly one-half of what other ballplayers with one-half their talent made throughout professional baseball; that Comiskey consistently failed to fulfill financial and morale building promises he made to his ballplayers; and that Comiskey did not even have the decency to pay for the laundering of his teams dirtied, tobacco laden uniforms following each World Series game. As a result of Comiskey’s greed and deceit, the Jackson Weavers argue, these eight ballplayers formed an alliance with the wretched to make up for what they had earned but had not received.

With that said, if you look in the twentieth row of this aisle, just to the left of that tall, suave looking, clean shaven, ivory color suited man, you will see me smiling and waving at you.

The Misconstrued Kid

It is no secret that the now deceased Boston Red Sox slugger Theodore Samuel Williams is one of the greatest baseball players to don a Major League uniform. During his 19 year career, this sweet swinging, Hall of Fame ballplayer had 2,654 hits, 521 homeruns, and 1,821 runs batted in to go with an astounding .344 batting average. He also made 17 All-Star appearances, earned 2 triple crowns, 2 American League Most Valuable Player awards, and 5 Major League Baseball Player of the Year awards. What makes William’s statistics even more impressive is that he accomplished them amidst serving as a Marine Corps fighter pilot during the Second World War and the Korean War. Combine William’s outstanding baseball and combat accomplishments with his diligent and consistent philanthropic work with the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston, and one has the making of a well-rounded individual who cares deeply about the fate of American youth.

However, nearly four years after his death, Williams continues to draw unquestionably fierce criticism from baseball fans and begrudging sportswriters throughout the nation to include Boston. To many of these people, Williams’s legacy has been severely tarnished by his brash and arrogant behavior on the baseball diamond.

There were many times throughout William’s career when he fearlessly disseminated bold statements regarding how he was going to decode a particular pitcher, how he was going to overcome the Williams shift, and how his Red Sox were going to emerge victorious over particular teams. But as far fetched as Williams’s assertions were, he would usually stroll out onto the baseball field and back them up with his bat and glove. As a result of Williams’s seeming arrogance, many envious sportswriters sitting in powerful positions took every opportunity they could to demonize or “Humble” Williams when he made a mistake either on or off the baseball field. And unfortunately many baseball fans within Boston and abroad oftentimes bit the propaganda bait and subsequently berated Williams. And much to the pleasure of the same sportswriters who verbally injured the legendary ballplayer in the first place, Williams nearly always retaliated.

For example, during an early August 1956 ballgame versus the New York Yankees at Fenway Park, Williams was rewarded for his legendary achievements with the profane wrath of 36,350 Red Sox fans after he mishandled a Mickey Mantle fly ball in the 11th inning. Williams, with a gleam of dejection and frustration in his eyes, Williams thanked Red Sox fans for the undeserved reward by spitting in the general direction of thousands of heckling fans sitting in the outfield bleachers. Then, in the bottom of the 11th inning, Williams undeservingly rewarded the same heckling fans with a game winning run. This was just one of many situations where Williams went to war with the Bostonian media and its baseball fans. And as you will see very shortly, Williams was not the only one. But for now it is important that another legendary baseball player be recognized for enduring perhaps even more media inspired hardship than Ted Williams.

Attempted Murder of a Member of Murderers Row

To his New York Yankee teammates, Roger Eugene Maris was a decent, honest, and straightforward country boy who possessed both the strength and skill to hit the ball a country mile. But to many national media outlets and their earnestly subscribing baseball fans during the 1961 professional baseball campaign, he was a dangerous target that needed to be destroyed before he broke Babe Ruth’s all time single season homerun record.

Target missed. Mission failed. Return to base.

These protagonists failed to accomplish its mission because during their incessant attempts to annihilate Maris’s date with baseball immortality, they forgot to account for the only weapon that allowed Maris to withstand the onslaught of their wretchedness. This weapon was called willpower. And Maris had no choice but to continuously resort to it to succeed during the latter part of the 1961 season.

Despite being called an aloof hick, a slowpoke, a freak, an outsider, and a one year wonder by leading sportswriters throughout the nation; despite being consistently told he was nowhere near the level of stardom that Babe Ruth, Joe Dimaggio, and his teammate, friend, and fellow homerun record chaser Mickey Mantle were at; and despite having Ruth and Mantle loving baseball fans living in numerous cities throughout America hurl chairs, angry slurs and wads of spit at Maris while he stood in the outfield and in the on deck circle; Maris, with pressure felt chunks of gray hair falling from his weathered scalp, used his brute skill and willpower to overcome the wretched and subsequently break the Great Bambino’s homerun record.

What was most unfortunate about Maris making baseball history, was that the man accomplished his feat with very little fame and fanfare before a sparse audience at Yankee Stadium versus the Boston Red Sox. After Maris rounded the bases for the 61st time during the final game of the 1961 baseball campaign, the same media outlets that continuously defamed Maris en route to breaking Ruth’s record, dramatically downplayed Maris’s accomplishment.
Combine the media’s inhumanity with feeble fan support and Maris was left with a bitter taste in his mouth even decades after his 12 year career came to an end. “They acted as though I was doing something wrong, poisoning the record books or something” said Maris during the 1980 All-Star game in Los Angeles. “Do you know what I have to show for 61 homeruns?” continued Maris. “Nothing. Exactly nothing.”

To a certain extent Maris was right. Despite everything the national media put this injury depleted mortal through en route to breaking Ruth’s record and afterwards, Maris earned 2 American League Most Valuable Player Awards, made 4 All-Star Game appearances, earned 1 Golden Glove and helped the New York Yankees win 3 World Series Championships and 7 American League Pennants. Yet for some reason the now deceased Roger Maris still has not been elected into the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown New York. Perhaps it is time for the modern day media to declare war on the Pro-Ruth conservatives by fighting for Maris’s acceptance into baseball’s Elysium.

Quit Killing Bill

The following baseball player is considered to be one of the most consistent contact hitters of his time. In 2,517 games over a span of 22 Major League seasons, this man earned 2,715 hits to just 453 strikeouts for an impressive career batting average of .289 to go with a hit to strikeout ratio of 20.7 that bested Hall of Famers Ted Williams, Joe DiMaggio, Nellie Fox, Tris Speaker and others. This ballplayer was also an American League All Star and National League batting champion who performed well on the defensive end, first as an outfielder and then as a first baseman. For example, this man made just 147 errors in 15,126 chances for an astounding .991 career fielding percentage. Sounds like a pretty successful professional baseball player right?
Ok now look up the term scapegoat in Merriam – Webster’s Online Dictionary. The term scapegoat refers to: one that bears the blame for others or one that is the object of irrational hostility. Then log onto http://www.wikipedia.org and type in the word scapegoat. Guess whose name pops up in the section titled Scapegoating in Sports? It is former Boston Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner. And it is completely unfair.

Boston’s game 6 World Series loss to the New York Mets was a team effort. While baseball historians and fans should hold Buckner accountable for making a critical error at a critical time, there were many others who should have been held accountable as well. The first person to come to mind is Red Sox relief pitcher Calvin Schiraldi. After getting the first two batters out in the bottom of the 10th inning Schiraldi, with Boston leading 5-3, gave up three straight singles, first to Gary Carter, then to pinch hitting outfielder Kevin Mitchell, and then to Ray Knight who knocked in Carter to make it a 5-4 ballgame.

The next ballplayer to be held accountable for Boston’s game six defeat is Bob Stanley, the man who relieved Schiraldi of his hurling duties shortly after he gave up the run scoring hit to Knight. With runners on first and third and with two strikes on Met left fielder Mookie Wilson, Stanley threw a wild pitch that allowed Mitchell to score the game tying run and allowed Knight to move up to second. Shortly afterwards Wilson hit that infamous ground ball that skipped beneath the long legs of Bill Buckner and into right field.

And according to Red Sox nation, the rest was negative history conceived solely by Buckner – even before the first pitch of the seventh game of the World Series in New York.

However one has to question the logic of Bostonians when they are confronted by the fact that the Red Sox had several chances to win game seven, but again, the teams pitching staff could not hold the fort. And thus Boston lost game seven by tally of 8-5. Regardless of the fact that many Red Sox fans know this information, they still continue to recognize Bill Buckner as the President of the Scapegoat Association. It is time to allow Bill Buckner to retire from his undeserved post.

While the 1919 Chicago White Sox rewarded its city with several successful seasons and while Ted Williams, Roger Maris, and Bill Buckner rewarded their respective fans with innumerable amounts of positively memorable moments, these entities continue to undeservingly serve as negative icons to the superficial simply because they challenged greedy tyrants, possessed seemingly arrogant and brash personality traits, threatened popular records, and erred when there was no room for error.

The bottom line is that these legendary men, much like Jackie Robinson, Shoeless Joe Jackson and Hank Greenberg, are heroic individuals who possessed the strength and courage to stand tall in the face of adversity to inspire change and to accomplish legendary feats. They are also men who continued to passionately play the game of baseball even when it seemed as if the entire world was against them. It is for these reasons and others that baseball fans should memorialize these embattled men, for without them, the game of baseball would be much less appreciated in this embattled nation.

The "PlaysTagliabueDespises" Alarm

2006-05-27T06:43:00.000-07:00

Written January 2nd 2006

National Football League Game Monitoring Center Alert:

While hundreds of NFL players sacrificed blood, sweat and tears on the field of battle today, veteran NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue sat on his personal golden perched throne with his feet kicked up on an old autographed Terry Bradshaw helmet while groupies fed him plump red grapes.

And then it happened.

While Favre pumped his right fist in the air during what could be the legends final career game, Tagliabue, with grape juice dribbling down his wrinkled face and onto his $2,000 yuppie shirt, heard that infamous intermittent noise and saw that infamous red light circling the ceiling of the NFL Game Monitoring Center.

"Who dare set off the PlaysTagliabueDespises alarm!" said the Commissioner as he leaped from his throne.
"Who dare do something creative and humorous to entertain the masses" continued the Commissioner while charging down the marble stairway leading to the wall panel of football game displaying television screens.
Tagliabue scoured the televisions, first looking to see if Chad Johnson scored a touchdown. But strangely he saw nothing that indicated fun and entertaining play.
"It must have been a false alarm," said Tagliabue after seeing nothing out of sorts.
But then, just as Tagliabo was about to turn around and return to his throne and grape feeding friends, he saw the replay on the most centered television screen.
"Belichick!" yelled Tagliabue. "How many times do I have to tell you not to run fun and creative plays before the masses!"
With a beet red face and racing heart, Tagliabue looked at one of the guards standing at attention near the door of the game center. "Get Coach Belichick on the phone!" he said.
A few moments later, Coach Belichick's voice emerged over the loudspeaker.
"Good afternoon Commissioner Tagliabue," said Coach Bilichick in a seemingly calm and joyous tone.
"I saw Flutie's cutsie drop kick today against the Dolphins," said Tagliabue, "Can you tell me what prompted you to call such a play?"
"You saw that huh," said Belichick, "wasn't that sweet?"
"No it wasn't sweet," responded Tagaliabue, "your creative and entertaining antics set off the PlaysTagliabueDespises Alarm again."
"Sorry," responded Belichik. "I thought it would be fun to see if we could make the drop kick. After all it has not been done in over 50 years."
"That's your problem Belichick. You're alway thinking too much!"
"Isn't that what I am supposed to do Commissioner?"
"Yes you are! But you are not supposed to step outside the bounds of the modern day playbook."
"The modern day playbook?"
"Yes! The modern day playbook."
"I don't know what you are talking about. Flutie's drop kick was legal."
"No It wasn't legal, said Tagliabue, "Do you know why?"
"No I don't know. Why?"
"Because it was a fun and creative play that's why!"
"Ok. What is wrong with that?"
Because it sets off the PlaysTagliabueDespises Alarm that's why!"
"Sorry," responded Belichick, "Geeze louise."
"Dont' geeze louise me Belichick," screamed Tagliabue. "I swear between you, Owens, and Johnson, I never get a break around here."
"Break from what?," responded Belichick, "all you do is sit on your throne all day and eat grapes."
"Don't talk back to me Belichick! Remember I am the King of this jungle."
Belichick laughed heartily over the loudspeaker.
"Do you find this funny?" said Tagliabue.
"Yes I do," responded Belichick.
"Why?"
"Because you are a prude. You haven't a sense of humor. And everytime someone does something fun or entertaining your panties get all twisted in knots."
"How did he know I wear panties," murmured the Commissioner to himself.
"I'll be watching you Belichick. I'll be monitoring your practices all week to make sure you are not planning on running any fun or entertaining plays during the playoffs."
"You can have the National Security Agency monitor my team for all I care Commissioner Tagliaboohoo."
"Maybe I'll do that Belichick," responded Tagliabue, "after all it seems to be legal now."
"Can I go now," said Belichick, "I have a team to coach."
"Yes you can," responded Tagliabue, "but if you set off the PlaysTagliabueDespises Alarm one more time your ass is brass."
"You mean my ass is grass?"
"Whatever. Get off my phone!"
"Sure thing Jungle Boy."
Click.

Baseball Mourns Passing of Gentle Giant

2006-05-27T06:41:00.000-07:00

Written December 26th, 2005

To his retired teammates he was known as “the Babe Ruth of Mexico.” To his longtime friends like Baltimore Oriole Traveling Secretary Phil Itzoe, former Oriole baseball team manager Ray Miller, and former Oriole slugging first baseman Lee May, he was simply “dude.” To his children Ryan, Ian, Abigail, Elroy, Berecia, and Elrod Jr., he was simply “pops.” Elrod Gerome Hendricks, veteran Oriole baseball player and bullpen coach, has passed into the legions of immortality at the age of 65.

More than a thousand family members, friends, former teammates, present players, and local/national dignitaries to include Mayor Martin O’Malley and Kweisi Mfume lined the dark oak pews of the world renowned Cathedral of Mary Our Queen in Baltimore Maryland on Thursday, December 29, 2005 to pay tribute this larger than life gentle giant.

Those who attended Hendrick’s memorial service yesterday were blessed with a remarkably inspiring and at various times humorous biography of a caring and joyous mortal who unconditionally loved his family, friends, and community and who always placed the needs and desires of others before his own. This most recent assertion was articulately reflected in the words of Hendrick’s son, United States Air Force Judge Advocate General, Captain Ryan Hendricks. “While my father spent most of his life playing and coaching the game of baseball,” said the choked up Hendricks while standing proudly before the mourning, “he exemplified the Air Force core values that I cherish: Integrity, Service before self and Excellence in all we do.” When you read Hendrick’s obituary, you too will agree with the Captain's statement.

This Obituary states:

Elrod, “Ellie” Hendricks was born December 22, 1940 to Berecia Callender and Arthur Hendricks in St. Thomas, US [Virgin Islands]. He spent his childhood in Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas with his brothers Volmie Hendricks, Arthur Hendricks, and Morse Hendricks. He departed this life on December 21, 2005 having thoroughly enjoyed life to the fullest while leaving behind a rich legacy of family, lasting friendships, and wonderful memories.
After graduating from Charlotte Amalie High School, Ellie left St. Thomas with hopes of having a career in baseball. After being “discovered” by Hank Aaron in a traveling exposition, he was signed by the Milwaukee Braves as an amateur free agent in 1959. He spent several years playing minor league baseball for various teams throughout the United States, Puerto Rico and Mexico, where he was known as the “Babe Ruth of Mexico,” after hitting 109 homers in four seasons. In an era where million dollar signing bonuses were unheard of, Ellie fondly recalled the days when his extraordinary batting conquests in the minor leagues were rewarded only with steak dinners.

In 1968, Ellie began his 12 season career in the major leagues as a Baltimore Oriole. Ellie was eternally grateful to his "big-league daddy" Earl Weaver who, after managing him in Puerto Rico, insisted that the Orioles draft him. He played in each of the O's AL pennant-winning seasons of '69, 70, 71. In 24 post-season games, he compiled a .273 batting average with 18 hits, 2 home runs, 4 doubles, and 10 RBI. His career fielding percentage was .990 with 41 percent of base runners thrown out. He also has the distinctive honor of having the lowest ERA for a catcher (0.00, after pitching two and one-third scoreless innings in 1979). Ellie wore the Orioles uniform for a record 37 seasons, and except for a brief period of 1 1/2 years when he played for the New York Yankees and the Chicago Cubs, he served his entire career in the black and orange Orioles uniform. He exemplified "The Oriole Way" of winning through a combination of baseball smarts, sound fundamentals, and a roster full of useful and unselfish role players.

In 1977, Ellie began a new career as bullpen coach for the Baltimore Orioles, putting his wisdom to work for younger players. He twice served as a player/coach while serving under 10 different managers. He was twice named as a coach to the American League All-Star team. In all, he spent 45 seasons in professional baseball. He never failed to take time before every game (even away games) to sign autographs and talk to fans. Oriole fans loved him. In fact, baseball fans across the nation, regardless of allegiance, adored him. Ellie's off-field achievements and civic contributions were numerous and legendary. The Baltimore Chapter of the National Conference of Christians and Jews, named Ellie "Man of the Year" in 1983.

In 1987 and again in 1988, he was named Man of the Year by the Special Olympics, one of Ellie's favorite charities. His involvement with the Special Olympics preceded and followed these awards by several years. He also received the first Jack Dunn Memorial Service Award, named after the late Orioles executive, in January 1988. In 1989, Ellie was chosen Man of the Year by the Oriole Advocates.

In 1992, the Orioles created an organizational award in his name for the players whose level of community involvement was worthy of special recognition. In 1993, he was recognized by the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce of Maryland for the advancement of Hispanics in Maryland. In 1995, the Orioles presented Ellie the Iron Man Award. The Fullwood Foundation honored Elrod by naming him Volunteer of the Year.

In 2001, Ellie was the first person ever named to the Orioles Baseball Hall of Fame while still active in his position with the team. He was one of the most popular personalities ever to wear an Orioles uniform. In 2002, the World Sports Humanitarian Hall of Fame named Ellie the Most Proactive Coach for his contributions to the Baltimore community. He was also honored by the Sports Boosters of Maryland in November 2002.

He was a dedicated supporter of Santa Claus Anonymous for many years. He was twice honored by Acts of the Legislature of the Virgin Islands proclaiming "Elrod Hendricks Day." Far too numerous to be listed here, other awards and recognitions bestowed upon Ellie were accepted with equal humility, grace, and pride.

Ellie contributed to many humanitarian efforts throughout his life. During the off-season, Ellie served as community representative and the Oriole’s primary public speaker. For over 20 years, Ellie funded youth league baseball camps. He never missed a year playing Santa for the children at the Oriole’s Annual Party. Even within a week of his passing, he was busy donning Santa’s black boots, red suit, and white beard, while distributing gifts to disadvantaged inner city school children.

January 14, 1970, marked one of the single most important occasions in his life: the day he married his wife Merle. Merle and Ellie were blessed with two sons: Ryan, born August 3, 1972 and Ian, born November 28, 1976. Ellie was also graced with four children by a previous marriage: Abigail, born July 13, 1962, Elrod Jr., born April 7, 1964, Elroy, October 1, 1965 and Berecia, born August 25, 1967. Ellie and Merle have been loyal residents of the Randallstown, Maryland area for the past 35 years.

Elrod Hendricks is survived by his beloved wife Merle; his children, Ryan Hendricks, Ian Hendricks, Abigail Hendricks, Elrod Hendricks Jr., Elroy Hendricks and Berecia Smith; his three brothers Volmie Hendricks, Arthur Hendricks and Morse Hendricks; several grandchildren, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews and many other relatives and friends whom he considered family. He possessed a rare gift of true caring and genuine love for his fellow man. He was a ‘once in a lifetime’ kind of person who graces our world with the kind of unconditional love for his fellow man that only the most honest can exemplify – a purity of spirit.

And now, as Elrod, “Ellie” Hendricks gazes back at the world he once walked with his usually glowing smile, and waves good-bye to all he loved before passing into the realms of eternity, it is time living souls take a brief moment to thank him for all he has done to make this world a better place. Furthermore, it is time for mothers and fathers in pursuit of role-models for their children to embrace him. It also is time that national sporting media members place their oftentimes scandalous and sensational pens down upon their desks and pick up a more humane pen and write a feature story about Hendricks that proves to the youth of this nation who flock to their websites that they too can reach the pinnacle of stardom without compromising their integrity, selflessness, and excellence. Finally, it is time that Baltimore Orioles owner Peter Angelos do the right thing and retire Hendrick’s jersey once the gentle spring breeze returns to Camden Yards on opening day.

It is the least they could do for a man who positively touched the hearts and minds of so many people throughout the world.

Jackie Robinson of the National Hockey League

2006-05-27T06:37:00.000-07:00

Written December 26th, 2005

Near the end of the widely acclaimed and newly released movie Four Brothers, an interesting scene involving Mark Walberg and a young African American boy occurred. While Walberg and his brothers were working to repair their deceased mother’s bullet littered, window shattered home, this boy momentarily stopped playing hockey with his friends on an icy Motor City street to ask Walberg a question regarding death.

As Walberg moved to answer this boy’s question, my constantly motoring psyche was suddenly invaded by the following question: Who was the first African American to play in the National Hockey League? After performing some diligent research, the answer to the aformentioned question emerged. His name was Willie O’Ree.

O’Ree, who is often referred to as the Jackie Robinson of professional hockey, was born in 1935 in Fredericton New Brunswick: a small Canadian coal-mining city lying just to the Northeast of Maine. At the tender age of just 3 years old, O’Ree began skating. Two years later, he began playing organized hockey.

It did not take O’Ree long to prove his worth as a phenomenonal hockey player to those of the Caucasian race. During an interview conducted by Mike Walsh, author of Soul on Ice – the Willie O’Ree Story, O’Ree expressed his motivation to excel. “In the city where my family lived, there were probably only two or three black families," said O’Ree. "[…] In retrospect, I think my living around whites made me feel I could play in the pros. I always knew I was as good [as] or better than they were." As time passed, many people in key positions throughout the Canadian hockey world believed O’Ree was good as well, for the Kitchener Canucks of the Ontario Hockey Association drafted him in 1955.

However, something happened to O’Ree during his first season in the OHA that nearly forced him to hang up his skates. During the 1955/1956 season, O’Ree was struck with a puck in the right eye while playing left wing during a game. According to Mr. Walsh, “the injury was so serious that [O’Ree] permanently lost 95% of his vision in that eye.” Doctors advised O’Ree to permanently retire from hockey, but he refused and subsequently returned to the ice eight weeks later. By seasons end, O’Ree had earned 30 goals and 28 assists in just 41 games. He also gained the attention of the Boston Bruins.

Before O’Ree knew it he was making his NHL debut for Boston on January 18, 1958 against the Montreal Canadians. However, after playing in just two professional hockey games, O’Ree, without fame or fanfare, was returned to the minor leagues where he bounced around until the Bruins recalled him in 1960. While O’Ree earned just 4 goals and 10 assists in 43 games during the racism filled 1960-1961 hockey campaign, the speedy winger seemingly left several positive marks upon Boston General Manager Lynn Patrick and Head Coach Milt Schmidt. This was exemplified when Schmidt told reporters that Willie “has all the equipment a good professional needs and some splendid natural advantages... I hope he'll be with us a long time." Shortly after the interview, Schmidt and Patrick verbally assured O’Ree that he would be a member of the Bruins the following season. “Go home and have a good summer,” they said. “We’re impressed with your play. You’ll be back with the Bruins.” Thus, with a bright outlook and excited family, O’Ree went back home to Fredericton for some much deserved rest and relaxation. Little did O’Ree know however, that the same team he debuted against nearly three years ago would send his hockey career spiraling downwards nearly six weeks later.

One day while O’Ree was at home, he received a telephone call from s sportswriter asking him what he thought of being sold to the Montreal Canadians. At first O’Ree thought there was a mistake. However, after the sportswriter revealed his sources, O’Ree surrendered to the fact that Schmidt and Patrick had just stabbed him in the back without telling him. During the later portions of his interview with Mr. Walsh, O’Ree reflected upon that saddening day by saying that, “considering the talent Montreal had, I knew I had no chance of making their squad. So I wasn't surprised when I was assigned to their Hull-Ottawa minor league affiliate. I never did get any information from the Bruins on why the move was made.” Two months after being dealt to Montreal, O’Ree was again traded to the Los Angeles Blades of the Western Hockey League.
While O’Ree was indeed disappointed by what had happened to him over the course of the past few months, he still had a deep passion for the game of hockey. O’Ree made a big name for himself in Los Angeles by winning the league scoring title in 1964 with 38 goals. O’Ree was so popular that, when the Los Angeles Blades folded in the late 1960s, the San Diego Gulls were happy to acquire him. It was in San Diego where O’Ree won the league scoring title once again in 1969 with 39 goals. It was also here where he retired from hockey with 480 goals and 496 assists in 1974.

Today, Willie O’Ree lives in San Diego where he serves as the Director of Youth Development for the NHL/USA Hockey Diversity Task Force. His job is to encourage minority youth to learn and play the game of hockey. He also runs a used sporting equipment bank by which youths without enough money to buy new equipment could buy used but adequate equipment.
While Willie O’Ree’s on ice accomplishments are certainly outstanding for an African American who played hockey during some of the most racially violent times in history, he is still to this day unsettled by the fact that he was never allowed to return to the NHL. On the other hand, O’Ree continues to count his blessings for being granted the opportunity to break through the wall that was the Caucasian dominated NHL, and also for the opportunity to help lay important stepping stones for other African American NHL stars like Washington Capital forward Mike Marson, Buffalo Sabre forward Tony McKegney, Edmonton Oiler goaltender Grant Fuhr, Vancouver Canuck center Anson Carter, Calgary Flame winger Jarome Iginla, Buffalo Sabre winger Mike Grier, Edmonton Oiler winger Georges Laraque and others. And we, the progressively minded people of the world, continue to count our blessings for people like Willie O’Ree.

Special thanks to Mike Walsh

Baltimorean Leadership Exploring Possible Return of NBA Franchise

2006-05-27T06:35:00.000-07:00

Written December 25th, 2005

Resting comfortably between New York City and Washington D.C., in the heart of the Atlantic coast region, is the bustling city of Baltimore Maryland. Since its foundation in 1729, "Charm City," as it has been nicknamed, has not only bore witness to many philosophical and political struggles between mortals regarding democracy, slavery, civil rights and employment; but it has also bore witness to the birth and development some of the worlds greatest leaders, athletes,and entertainers like Thurgood Marshall, Clara Barton, Babe Ruth, and Edgar Allen Poe.

Today, the City of Baltimore, despite its own problems with violent crime and drug trafficking, has grown into one of the nations most alluring and economically vibrant cities. According to Census Scope 2000, which is a highly respected source for U.S. demography trends, Baltimore's population has risen from 1,820,314 to 2, 552, 994 people since 1960. During this 40 year stretch, but most recently, Baltimorian leadership has been able to establish robust relationships with several world reknowned corporations. These corporations in turn, have migrated to Baltimore and subsequently assisted in the creation of thousands of jobs. As a result, Baltimore has become one of the highest employed and highest paying cities in the United States.

But there is certainly more to Charm City than Constellation Energy, Legg Mason, and Mercantile Bancshares. Baltimore is also filled to the brim with various types of cultural, social, and educational entities. Baltimore is home to several world class symphony halls like the Joseph Meyerhoff Symphony Hall, home to several nationally endowed art galleries like the Walters Art, Baltimore Baseball, and B & O Railroad Museums; and home to several educational institutions like Johns Hopkins University, University of Maryland, and Baltimore School for the Arts.

Baltimore has also shown tremendous growth in the tourism sector over the past decade. The cities "Inner Harbor," with its upscale shopping malls, diverse restaurants, and pulsating night clubs; along with its imposing aquarium and formidable fleet of decommissioned American naval ships and submarines, has quickly developed into one of the most alluring ports in the United States, drawing millions of people from around the world eachyear.

Baltimore is also the proud father of many thriving residential neighborhoods where one is never short of history, things to do, and places to eat and drink. Throughout the year, tourists and locals alike flock restaurants and bars in neighborhoods like Little Italy, Fells Point, Canton, Locust Point, and Federal Hill to enjoy world famous beer and brick oven pizza.
Sporting wise, most residents of Baltimore are passionate about its Oriole's baseball, Raven's football, Blast soccer, and University of Maryland Terrapin teams. Sporting heroes of the city include baseball legends like Babe Ruth, Brooks Robinson, and Cal Ripken; and gridiron legends like Johnny Unitas and Ray Lewis.
Yet despite all of Baltimore's economical, social, and sporting achievements, an important entity seems to be missing from the city's historical landscape. This entity used to be a very important part of the city but, despite its somewhat successful stature, packed up and moved to Washington D.C. This entity is called professional basketball.

Once upon a time Baltimore had a professional basketball franchise called the Bullets. This team, which was led by a coach/player named "Buddy" Jeanette, moved from Chicago to Baltimore in 1947 where, during its first season of existence, not only won the Basketball Association of American (BAA) Western Division title over the Washington Capitols, but also won the BAA Championship. Unfortunately for Baltimore, the success of the initial Bullet franchise did not last long, for after going 28-20 in its inaugural season, this team never finished better than 29-31. Six years after winning its first basketball championship, the Bullets, with its combined record of 158-292, almost faded into professional basketball history forever.

But thanks to the persistent and somewhat controverial efforts of real estate wizard Abe Pollin, the Bullets re-emerged in Baltimore in 1964 as a member of the National Basketball Association (NBA). Much like its predecessor, this Bullet team, which was led by Hall of Famers Wes Unseld and Earl Monroe, made it to a championship series in 1971. But once again, Bullet fans walked away disappointed when the Unseld and Company were handily defeated in four games by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and the Milwaukee Bucks. Three years later Abe Pollin, in an effort to make more money, moved the Bullets to Washington D.C. where the team eventually became known as the Wizards. Thus, for the last 30 plus years Baltimore has had no professional basketball team to call its own.

During the past decade however, several governmental and commercial assets in the city have been laboring diligently to change this. The fundmental problem lies in what the city plans on doing with its aging, 13,700 plus seated Baltimore Arena (also known as 1st Mariner Arena). This arena, which was once home to the Baltimore Bullets, was built near the Inner Harbor in 1963. During its past forty years of existence this arena has witnessed some of the greatest basketball games, soccer games, and boxing matches; as well as some of the greatest NCAA tournament games, figure-skating championships, tennis matches, and concerts in history.
Today, 1st Mariner Arena continues to provide Charm City with an important facility to host its events. The arena not only continues to be the home of the Baltimore Blast Major League Soccer team, but it also books hundreds of shows and events each and every year; events like U2 and Elton John concerts, and WWE wrestling, motorsports and ice-skating championships. Thus, to destroy 1st Mariner Arena would not only result in the loss of millions of visitors to the city each year, but it would also generate billions of dollars in lost revenue during the time it would take to construct a new arena in its place. So unless something remarkable happens, 1st Mariner Arena is not going anywhere for a while.

However, basketball enthusiasts of Baltimore need not be completely disappointed. There is still hope for Baltimore landing a new arena and matching NBA franchise. According to Mr. Greg Smith, Chief Operating Officer for the Maryland Stadium Authority, the Greater Baltimore Council, in conjunction with the Maryland Department of Business and Economic Development, and the Downtown Partnership of Baltimore; have collaboratively hired his organization to undertake a study to determine the feasibility of building a new sporting arena along the water front in Canton Crossing near Interstate 95. For those who do not know, Canton Crossing is a joint residential/business development being constructed under the leadership of Baltimore businessman Mr. Ed Hale. For those who do not know Mr. Hale, he is Baltimore's version of Donald Trump.
While the thought of a Canton Arena sounds nice to professional basketball fans in the city, one should be careful to not get too excited yet. According to Mr. Kirby Fowler, President of the Downtown Parnership of Baltimore, the MSA needs to consider several factors before it can give its employers the big thumbs up. Some of the many questions the MSA needs to answer deals with whether or not (1) an NBA franchise would be able to survive in Baltimore, (2) the existence of a new arena would take money away from other downtown sporting and entertainment entities, and (3) the existence of an arena would have a positive or negative trickling effect upon the rest of the city's economy.

Once the Maryland Stadium Authority answers these questions and others, the organization will document their findings in a report that is slated to be released to the general public in June of 2006. So while it appears as if the MSA has a long way to go in researching the feasibility of building a new stadium and establishing an NBA franchise, the fact that they are even doing this provides positive signs to those who continue to clamor for the return of professional basketball to Baltimore. Perhaps the MSA is doing this because many leaders and citizens understand that establishing an NBA franchise in Baltimore would not only be good for the city, but it would also be good for the NBA as a whole. Who knows.

But just imagine for a moment. Imagine Baltimore Mayor (who ever it is at the time it may happen) stepping to the podium and announcing to the public that a new arena is soon to be erected in upscale Canton and that an NBA franchise called the Baltimore Boom will play its home games there. Think about the buzz leading up to and on opening night in Baltimore when the NBA expansion Boom squad, led by Charm Cities own Carmello Anthony and Juan Dixon, takes to the brand new hardwood floor before a sold out (multi-billion dollar company) arena to play the Washington Wizards with the hit song "here comes the boom!" by the rock band Warrior4Jah blaring on the loud speakers. Imagine being a fan in this new arena late in the fourth quarter of this heavily contested, see-sawing contest. Feel that exciting buzz that is tearing through the crowd when Dixon passes to Anthony with two seconds left on the shot clock and home team down by two points. Imagine that youthful feeling you will feel again when you leap from your seat, throw your arms in the air, and subsequently belt out an enormous "BOOM!" with the rest of the home crowd upon witnessing Anthony drain a triple at the buzzer.
This scenario may seem to be nothing more than a light-hearted fantasy at this point in history. But if Baltimore's government and commercial partners play their cards right, this fantasy could become reality. Rennaissance Baltimore is very different from Baltimore during the days of the Bullets. The city has tremendously grown over the past decade in nearly every aspect and will continue to do so. A new arena and matching NBA franchise would only add to the cities growth. Furthermore, the existence of an arena would not only encourage the immigration of more business and commercial entities, but it would also create more jobs and subsequently lower the already low unemployment of both the city and state. All of this makes perfect sense. Hopefully Baltimore's governmental and economical leadership will see that it does as well.

2005 Misfit Athlete Holiday Tree

2006-05-27T06:28:00.000-07:00

Written December 25th, 2005

Do you remember the Land of Misfit Toys in the Holiday Classic, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer? Remember that Lion owned and operated (no not William Clay Ford Jr.) chunk of real estate inhabited by the square wheeled choo choo train caboose, ostrich-riding cowboy, Charlie in the Box, swimming bird, spotted elephant, and jelly-shooting pistol?
Well did you also know that just to the west of the Land of Misfit Toys was another snow-covered land that, due to time constraints, was left out of this movie? It is true. This land, which is in fact owned and operated by William Clay Ford Jr., is called the Land of Misfit Athletes.

Inhabiting the Land of Misfit Athlete’s are Misfit Athlete Holiday Trees. Each year, just before Holiday, Santa’s Elves, in collaboration with the once terrible turned terrific Abominable snowman, engineer ornaments reflecting the biggest boneheads of the sporting world during that respective year. Of course, this year is no exception.

Yesterday, Santa Clause’s Public Relations Director, Mr. Yukon Cornelius, reported that the 2005 Misfit Athlete Holiday Tree had been completed. Shortly afterwards, Mr. Cornelius issued a report to the “southerners” that included a photograph of this years tree, along with a brief explanation of each ornament the Elves created to reflect this years’ boneheaded misfits of the sporting world. The following report states:

We the Elves had a very difficult time determining which professional athletes would be granted ornaments to be placed on the 2005 Misfit Athlete Holiday Tree. However, after sifting through nearly 200 athletes, we were finally able to unanimously agree upon 14 of the most boneheaded jocks. These ornaments and matching athletes are listed in the following paragraphs.

The ornament looking like a pacifier on the bottom right hand side of the tree belongs to Indiana Pacer Forward Ron Artest. This is the second time in as many years we the Elves selected Mr. Artest to be part of the misfit athlete tree (he was the ornament shaped like a fist last year). Our reasoning for selecting Artest this year is this. First Artest complained that he wanted out of Indiana because his past keeps coming back to haunt him. Then Artest complained that he wanted out of Indiana because he disliked how Rick Carlisle called plays and utilized his players. Then, after having a language duel with Pacer All Star Jermaine O’Neil, Artest appeared before the media and said he made a mistake and wished to stay in Indiana. Quite frankly, we the elves hope Pacers Dominion Donnie Walsh sticks a pacifier in Artest’s mouth before shipping him to Canada.

The next ornament, which has been placed on the bottom left hand side of the tree, is shaped like a torch. This belongs to Detroit Pistons Power Forward Rasheed Wallace. Selecting Wallace was very tough because for all of us we love him for the entertaining passion and energy he brings to the game of basketball. However, we had no choice but to select Wallace after he made a catastrophic decision late in game 5 of the 2005 NBA Finals against the San Antonio Spurs.

Wallace, as well as every other Piston gathered around Larry Brown during the timeout preceding his fatal blunder, was specifically ordered to handcuff themselves to their respective opponents. In Wallace’s case, he was to handcuff himself to veteran swingman and 5-time NBA champion Robert Horry. However, once the ball touched the hands of Manu Ginobli in the left hand corner of the Palace hardwood floor, Wallace inexplicably abandoned Horry to double team Ginobli. Ginobli in turn, passed the ball to a wide open Horry who subsequently torched the Pistons with a game winning and tide turning three point shot.

In the middle of the misfit tree, next to that enormous orange, white, and green candy cane; is a bright red ornament shaped like a question mark. We believe former Detroit Red Wing Centre Sergei Fedorov earns this ornament because his hockey career decisions have proven nothing less than questionable. Fedorov departed Hockeytown for Tinsletown in 2003 to “pursue greater endeavors,” only to end up getting shipped to one of the worst hockey teams in the NHL – the Columbus Blue Jackets? Smooth move Sergei. Very smooth move.

Look just to the left of Sergei’s question mark and you will find a pair of handcuffs dangling from the misfit tree. This ornament belongs to former Baltimore Oriole pitcher and Aruban native Sydney Ponson. Our reasoning for selecting Ponson is pretty simple. First Ponson was arrested after picking a fistfight with an Aruban judge on an Aruban beach. While it is true that this event occurred shortly before last years Holiday festivities, we put him on the 2005 misfit watch list. It was a good thing we did, because two weeks after Ponson jostled with that judge, he moved from Aruba to Florida where he was soon arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol. A few months later, Ponson was arrested again for driving while impaired, and was subsequently sentenced to serve a 5 day jail sentence at Baltimore’s Central Booking and Intake Center. Rumor has it that after Ponson was released from prison; he became a member of MAADD or Misfit Athletes Against Drunk Driving.

Speaking of driving, do you see that dipstick hanging near the top of the tree? It belongs to NASCAR driver Johnny Sauter’s scandalous crew chief Joel Shear Jr. Sauter, who drives the orange colored, Yellow Transportation Inc sponsored Dodge racer, was found to have an illegal carburetor by NASCAR officials during a random, post-O’Reilly 300 Busch Series race inspection. Following the tear down of Sauter’s car, NASCAR officials found Shear and his crew guilty of blatantly installing an oversized carburetor to increase the car’s performance. As a result, Sauter, whose car finished 14th that day, was subsequently disqualified from the race. Shear was suspended for four races, fined, and put on probation until December 31st. Word to the wise: next time you think to yourself, “it can’t happen to me,” you better think of what happened to Mr. Shear. With that said, let’s move on.

On the bottom of the other side of the misfit Holiday tree dangles a black block lettered ornament with the words N-O-T-H-I-N-G. We the elves made this ornament for former Oriole’s right fielder Sammy Sosa because that is exactly what this big priced superstar did for the Orioles this season – nothing. In 102 games played, Sosa hit just .221 with 14 homeruns and 45 runs batted in. Sosa also had as many strikeouts as he had hits (84). Perhaps we the elves will give Sosa a tennis racket for Holiday to help him hit the ball next season.
Just above Sosa’s ornament hangs a syringe belonging to former Oriole first baseman Raphael Palmeiro. The reasons for selecting him are as simple as Artest’s. In March 2005 Palmeiro pointed his index finger at a panel of United States Congressmen and adamantly stated, “I have never used steroids. Period.” Five months later, Major League Baseball suspended Palmeiro for using steroids. When confronted by the media, Palmeiro said he had no clue how steroids made its way into his system. Then he speculated that the steroids were contained in a B-12 supplement that was given to him by teammate Miguel Tejada. Upon hearing that Palmeiro was blaming him for his current predicament, Tejada testified that while it was true he gave Palmeiro B-12 vitamins, he vehemently denied giving him any form of anabolic steroids. The interesting thing here is that Tejada took the same B-12 vitamins as Palmeiro, but Tejada tested negative for steroids. As Eminem said in one of his most recent rap tunes Welcome to Detroit, “Somethin smells a little fishay.”

Speaking of fish, if you look just to the left of the syringe you will find a great big bass hanging in all its gutted glory. This ornament goes to Mike Tyson for the explicit comment he made during his weighing in ceremony just before taking on Irishman boxer Kevin McBride at the MCI Center in Washington D.C. Referring to McBride Tyson said, “I will gut him like a fish.” However, during the main event the following night, it was McBride reeling in the fish that was Tyson with mighty blow after mighty blow. And shortly before the seventh round of boxing action, Tyson, after he head butted McBride and attempted to break McBride’s arm during previous rounds, found himself waving a white flag at McBride from his corner stool. Tyson has not stepped into the ring since. Who knows, maybe he took up fishing.

Go back around to the other side of the misfit tree and near the top, you will find an ornament looking like a Spartan holding a giant spike in his hands. This ornament goes to the Michigan State University football coaches responsible for making one of the biggest boneheaded decisions in NCAA football history late in the first half against Big Ten rival Ohio State. MSU, which had a 17-7 lead but no timeouts, was once again threatening to score on OSU. However, with 24 seconds remaining in the half, MSU quarterback Drew Stanton was stopped for no gain by OSU lineman Quinn Pitcock. With the clock winding down, MSU’s coaching staff, instead of ordering Stanton to muster his offense and spike the ball to stop the clock on third down, ordered the field goal unit onto the field to attempt a rushed 35 yard field goal. During all the chaos and men running on and off the field that followed, the Spartans snapped the football with only ten players on the field. The Spartans would have gladly accepted the penalty had it not been for the fact that Buckeye Nate Salley blocked the kick shortly before Buckeye cornerback Ashton Youboty picked up the football and ran it into the end zone for a touchdown to cut the Spartan halftime lead to 17-14. MSU was never able to regroup and eventually lost to the Buckeyes 35-24.

Another group of people who were never able to regroup after making stupid decisions were those French officials and media members who instigated the Lance Armstrong doping scandal. For this, we the elves, dedicate that French flag ornament near the top of the misfit tree with the American stamp pasted in the upper right hand corner.

Instead of recognizing Armstrong for being a legendary, come but once in a lifetime athlete and cancer survivor, those wretched mortals demonized him whenever possible without any evidence of wrong doing. Nothing proved more evident of this when Armstrong won his seventh straight Tour de France. Yet despite all the lies and deceit, Armstrong handled the situation with class and honor. Yet, because of continued French thumb nosing, Armstrong is thinking about returning to France to win the race again next year. On the other hand, we the elves believe the French want Armstrong to return to France because they know full well that without his presence, the sponsorship and ratings for future Tour de France’s will plummet dramatically.

This brings us to our next ornament – that pair of silver, black, and blue pom poms hanging in the middle of the tree right next to the multi-colored lollipop. This ornament belongs to Carolina Panther cheerleader’s Angela Keathley (the brunette) and Renee Thomas (the blonde) for their sexual and combative endeavors that took place at Banana Joes nightclub in Tampa Florida in November. As the news stories go, Keathley and Thomas went into the bathroom, locked the stall and locked lips, only to be interrupted by several bladder filled women. After a few moments of smooching and fondling, a woman named Melissa Holden began knocking repeatedly upon the stall door while other women standing in line behind her screamed, “hurry the hell up!” All of a sudden, Thomas, who was obviously infuriated by Holden’s rudeness, opened the stall door and introduced Holden to the black eye. Despite getting socked, Holden managed to grab Thomas and restrain her until Tampa police arrived. During this seemingly long wait time, Holden held Thomas against the wall, while Thomas repeatedly made arrogant remarks like “I’m a Panther cheerleader. I’m not going to get into trouble, let me go!” and “I’m a Panther Cheerleader, you can’t restrain me!” Thomas’s comments certainly aroused our funny bones because we the elves never knew Panther cheerleaders were such powerful figures in the world of professional football. Perhaps that’s why they receive a whopping $150 per game. Anyways, once the police arrived, Thomas, as if she were not in enough trouble already, fallaciously gave one of the officers the name of another Panther’s cheerleader. In the end, police charged Thomas with one count of battery and Keathley with one count of disorderly conduct and one count of opposing an officer, before hauling them off to Hillsborough County jail where they bonded out the next morning. Whooaawee! And we thought Saturday nights at the North Pole were wild!

With that said, we have reached our final ornament. This ornament, which looks like a chunk of steel, belongs to Norman Stone, World Boxing Association (WBA) manager of Latin boxer John Ruiz. Shortly after Nikolay Valuev – a 7 foot tall 323 pound Russian boxing beast – defeated John Ruiz in a highly disputed boxing match, Mr. Stone stormed across the ring and stole the WBA Heavyweight Title Belt from an unidentified man, before running back to the other side of the ring like a little kid who just got caught stealing a piece of licorice from the candy shop. This unidentified man in turn, ran across the ring to where Stone was standing, clocked him in the face, retook the belt, and then stormed back across the ring where he handed it to Valuev. Violence, theft, and sprinting; what else could a sporting fan ask for?

Oops sorry. We the elves almost forgot to include this years Misfit Athlete Holiday Tree Topper. This topper, which looks like a wounded lion with a rusty shovel stuck in its right side, belongs to Detroit Lion General Manager Matt Millen. Millen, who was hired in 2001 by Lion (and Land of Misfit Athletes) Chairman and Owner William Clay Ford Jr., has driven the worst franchise in professional football deeper into the ground. During the course of the past five seasons, the Lions have accomplished just 20 wins to 58 defeats, which gives them a worse regular season record than the expansion Houston Texans and Cleveland Browns.

Millen has hired some of the worst coaches in football to include Marty Morningweg. For those who do not know, Morningweg is the same man who once decided to kick off after winning the coin toss in overtime. Two years later, Millen fired Morningweg and hired Steve Mariucci. Mariucci, who was seen as a genius during his tenure as head coach of the veteran laden San Francisco 49ers, went on to earn a reputation for being the conservative, moronic play calling head coach of the youth laden Lions.

Player wise, Millen has drafted a quarterback who will most likely be successful in some other NFL city; drafted high profile receiver after high profile receiver only to watch them fail time and time again before eventually being replaced by formerly cut players named Vines, Edwards, and Martinez; and repeatedly attempted to jam players into a west coast offensive scheme even though these players were actually designed to prevail in a run and shoot offense. It is for these reasons and others that we the elves decided to make Matt Millen our 2005 Misfit Athlete Holiday Tree Topper. But hey look at it this way Lion fans – your team has nowhere to go but up.

Just Enjoy It!

2006-05-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

Written December 25th, 2005

This morning millions of mortals inhabiting this nation will awaken to find all that is both glamorous and wretched about Christmas. During this time, many excitement filled children will storm from their respective bedsides towards wherever their parents, single moms, or single dads, placed their gift besieged Christmas trees. These children, with their groggy guardian(s) sitting nearby with fresh cups of coffee in hand, will tear into these gifts and nearby stockings with hopes that they will receive everything Santa promised to bestow them.

And once the entire gift-opening hullabaloo dies down at roughly past nine, and once all the children go to their rooms to enjoy the gifts they were given, millions of professional basketball and sporting fans alike will turn on their television sets and log onto the internet only to discover hyped up columns revolving around the Detroit Piston and San Antonio Spurs match up, as well as the match up between the Miami Heat and Los Angeles Lakers. In reading these columns these fans will stumble upon provocative statements like “rematch of last years NBA Finals,” "Larry replaced by Flip," “Riley to duel with Jackson,” and “Kobe to battle with Shaq.” Quite frankly, these statements are absolutely unnecessary.

My advice to basketball loving mortals everywhere this holiday would be to avoid the all the served up hype and simply enjoy the fact that this day will be blessed with two excellent “regular season” basketball games. While watching the Pistons/Spurs game, take a few moments to enjoy watching two of the best starting units in the NBA go head to head while Santa hat donned Piston fans smash candy cane thunder sticks together. Enjoy watching the Wallace brothers clean up the boards before firing bullet passes down court to Rip Hamilton, Chauncey Billups, and Tashaun Prince. Enjoy watching Tony Parker tear down the lane and answer his own prayer shot or pass it to MVP Tim Duncan for a monster dunk. Enjoy watching Bruce Bowen and Rip Hamilton play cat and mouse all game long.

While watching the Heat/Lakers game, try not to get caught up in the circus revolving around Generals Riley and Jackson and Colonels Shaq and Kobe. Instead, try to enjoy watching some of the best players in the NBA go head to head. Enjoy watching Shaq chew up Los Angeles’s weak front line with masterly mini hooks and gargantuan dunks. Enjoy watching Kobe tear through Miami’s sometimes feeble defense before firing a silky smooth jump shot. Enjoy watching Dwayne Wade streak across the floor and soar through the air. These great teams and great players will not be around much longer, so enjoy their company while it lasts. Happy Holiday.

Detroit Pistons Chase NBA History

2006-05-27T06:24:00.000-07:00

Written December 21st, 2005

During the course of the past 23 regular season games of the 2005 – 2006 NBA campaign, Joe Dumars and the Detroit Pistons have proven nothing short of extraordinary. With 20 wins and just 3 losses, this veteran team is off to their best start in franchise history. Not only is General Saunders and his basketball infantry outgunning their opponents by an average of 8.3 points per game (99.9 - 91.6 ppg), but they are also defeating their opponents using whatever means they deem necessary, whether it may be in a shootout or a grind it out affair.

However, as well as the Pistons have played thus far, many critics question whether or not this team will be able to continue this rapid pace of winning up over the course of an 82 game season. NBA fans around the nation may very well discover the answer to this question after the Pistons play Golden State, San Antonio, Toronto, Miami, and Cleveland over the course of the next ten days

Should Billups and company find a way to defeat these five foes, the wildly burning question will become not whether the 25 - 3 Pistons will be able to break the all time franchise record of 63 regular season victories set by the 1998 - 1989 NBA Champion Pistons; but whether the Pistons will be able to break the NBA record of 72 regular season victories set by Michael Jordan and the 1995-1996 World Champion Chicago Bulls. While accomplishing the latter appears to be a very tall order at this point in the season, the Pistons, if they continue to play the way they have been to this point, may very well pop up on the radar of the All Time Greatest NBA Teams.

2006-05-27T06:22:00.000-07:00

Written December 18th, 2005

While driving westward on Interstate 80 through Cleveland Ohio enroute to my hometown of Detroit Michigan this afternoon, I found myself scanning the AM channels looking to see if there were any good sports shows on the radio. Specifically, I was searching for a sports radio host to bear positive news that the University of Michigan men's basketball team had regained prominence by defeating the UCLA Bruins.

Instead I found three straight channels filled with nothing but static. Eventually I came to a station with some Democrat zealot on the other end of the amplfied wave bickering about President George Bush again while simultaneously accusing the Republican party of creating everything leading up to Armageddon. I flipped the channel again only to hear a Republican loving radio host adamantly defending President Bush against claims being made by the Democrat zealot on the previoius network. I had nearly given up hope of finding a messenger of good news wehn I flipped to the next station and heared some slow talking farmer talking about his fertilization preferences -- in the winter.

But then, just as I was about to push the CD button and listen to Trick-Trick and Eminem belt out with some controversial lyrics, I hit the seek button one last time. And lone and behold out of a small wave of static boomed a male voice that said, "Lions."

Of course being a devoted Detroit homer, my ears perked up like an alarmed dog in the night. Intially I thought the radio host was talking about the Penn State Nittany Lions due to the fact that I was not far from Beaver country.

But then as the station - dubbed WDFN - became clearer and clearer, I heard the same radio host talking about the defiant events that are due to take place before and during the Detroit Lions/Cincinatti Bengals game scheduled for today at Ford Field. This host revealed, that Lion fans planned to protest their beloved football team's wretchedneess by participating in a "Millen Man March" before the game in an effort to oust Lions General Manager Matt Millen. Furthermore, as if the protest were not enough, many Lion fans will be donning Cincinatti orange during the game.

Of course I was initially steamed to hear that any Detroiter would even think of participating in such ridiculous behavior. "Detroiters always gripe about wanting to clean up their cities image," I said to myself. "Running around in orange and chanting 'Fire Millen! Fire Millen!' will only give national sports networks more reasons to make a complete mockery of the city." But then, after nearly a hundred spins of my Grand AM GT's tire rims, I had an epiphany.

This epiphany is as follows: Detroit Lion fans have had it. They are sick and tired of losing. They are tired of Matt Millen bringing in talent without character. They are tired of Matt Millen hiring coaches who do not have the appropriate personalities to counter the youthful and inexperienced men who play for him. But most importantly, Lion fans are sure as hell sick and tired of spending their hard earned money on tickets to watch a football team that looks sweet on paper but sour on the playing field.

Thus today, Sunday, December 18, 2005 Lions fans are going to make history. They are are going to declare 'civil' war on abhorrence. They will represent their city well by showing the world that they will no longer tolerate their football team being the laughingstock of the NFL. Today Lion fans are going to 'peacfully' march like soldiers past Ford Field in hopes that the national media will use its power to pressure Mr. William Clay Ford Jr. to oust the mortal who has time and time again betrayed the hopes of Lion fans -- Mr. Ford himself.

Letter to Mr. J. Whyatt Mondesire: President of the Philadelphia Chapter of the NAACP

2006-05-27T06:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. Mondesire,

I am writing to thank you for everything you have done to assure the advancement of African Americans and minorities in the United States of America and abroad during your lifetime. Your tireless leadership and articulate speaking and writing has provided these communities with both the courage and the power to accomplish a dream Reverend Martin Luther King envisioned long before my time.
However, as much as I respect you for your political and social leadership, I deem it necessary to ask what possessed you - a man who has dedicated his entire life to the advancement the disenfranchised – to take time out of your busy schedule to author an utterly repulsive newspaper article that unjustly defamed Pro-Bowl Philadelphia Eagle Quarterback Donovan McNabb? Were you bored? Was it a slow day for socially disenfranchised peoples of Philadelphia? Were you upset that the Eagles, under the generaliship of backup quarterback Mike McMahon, lost another football game? Why? Your reasoning for writing this article seems completely unreasonable and I humbly request to know why.
Furthermore, why in your article did you claim that McNabb is a mediocre at best general on the football battlefield? McNabb has honorably served in the National Football League for seven years. During this time he has completed nearly 60% of his passes (1718-2943), thrown for nearly 20,000 yards, fired 134 touchdown passes and 66 interceptions, and has a career quarterback rating of 84.1. Rushing wise, McNabb has 2,514 yards on 415 carries (6.1 yards per rush) and has scored 21 touchdowns.
Last season, McNabb set a Philadelphia Eagle record with 3,875 yards passing and became the first NFL player to throw for more than 30 touchdowns and fewer than 10 interceptions. His passer rating of 104.7 ranked second in the NFC. Throw in the fact that McNabb has been to three straight Pro-Bowls, two straight NFC championship games, and a Super Bowl, your case for mediocrity goes out the window, blows down the bustling streets of the great city of Philadelphia before falling through a sewer grate and drowning in the murky and infested waters below.
And how in the world could you question McNabb’s toughness? In your article you said that his stats rapidly deteriorated following week four of this years NFL campaign. While it is true that you justified the potential reasoning for his declination of performance by stating that “the sports hernia you suffered after the team's Week 3 win over Oakland clearly is a mega factor in the latter numbers,” you never followed up with information pertaining to how painful sports hernias can be, and how they can negatively affect a scrambling quarterback like McNabb. Instead you sidestepped the issue in the very next sentence by writing “but who can forget [McNabb’s] mind numbing fourth-quarter collapse in last year's Super Bowl against New England.”
For this I must rebuke you. Here are a few facts revolving around the causes of sports hernias, the pain they cause, and what surgical procedures are required to fix them. Maybe afterwards, you can tell me if you would be hesitant to scramble from the pocket. According to http://www.osteopathic.org/, “Sports hernias are caused by repetitive twisting and turning of the body at high speeds. An athlete may experience groin pain that gets worse with sudden movements like turning, cutting, kicking or twisting. The pain may be severe during sneezing or coughing. Many athletes believe they have a pulled muscle and will treat the injury with ice and heat. But the pain persists for weeks – especially with continued participation in sports.”
Surgically speaking, the authors of http://www.webmd.com/ state that to repair a sports hernia, “a single long incision is made in the groin. If the hernia is bulging out of the abdominal wall (a direct hernia), the bulge is pushed back into place. If the hernia is going down the inguinal canal (indirect), the hernia sac is tied off and removed or pushed back. The weak spot in the muscle wall—where the hernia bulges through—traditionally has been repaired by sewing the edges of healthy muscle tissue together (herniorrhaphy).” In other words, hernia surgery is quite painful. Yet despite the unyielding pain, McNabb took to the football field every Sunday until the pain became too much to bear after week nine. Throw in the bruised chest and the shin contusion McNabb fought through along with the sports hernia and you Mr. Mondesire begin to look like a blithering sporting world idiot.
Your McNabbian ignorance was showcased further when you questioned the quarterback’s toughness and subsequent performance during last years Super Bowl. “Andy Reid may not have seen it. Owner Jeff Lurie may have missed it on the videotaped replay,” you wrote, “But Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder ‘saw’ it. You choked brother.” This sentence tells me a lot about you “brother.” Not only did you mock two African American music legends, and not only did you make fun of the blind, but you also abused your gift of writing by attempting to sway an audience through fallacious means. But once people read the following daggarific tidbit that came straight from the mouth of McNabb’s Center Hank Fraley, you may lose any credibility you may have had with the American football public.
In an Associated Press news article dated 08 February 2004, Mr. Fraley said, “[McNabb] fought to the end. He gave it his all […] He could hardly call the plays – that's how exhausted he was trying to give it his all. If you remember back when we played Jacksonville two years ago and he ended up puking, it was close to that scene. He exhausted everything he had." Later in the article, Fraley said, “[McNabb] didn't get a play call in one time […] He mumbled and (receiver) Freddie Mitchell yelled out the play we were trying to bring in. He was puking at the same time, trying to hold it in." Welcome to the Blithering Idiot Hotel Mr. Mondesire. Your room is down the hall and to the left, right next to Alec Baldwin.
This brings me to my next question. Earlier in your article, during your “McNabb is mediocre” speel, you wrote, “[…] most of us don't live up to our dreams. It's when we fake it that most of the rest of us get irritated.” With that said, my question is, besides the first amendment, what gives you the right to determine whether McNabb has lived up to his dreams? How many men (and a few women) dream of playing in the NFL? How many get so close to making an NFL team and subsequently stepping onto that professional field before 60,000 people but, for multiple reasons, come up a hair short in realizing their dreams? How many people can say they got the chance to play in a Super Bowl? What about a Pro Bowl? Finally how many people have had as much of a positive impact upon the communities they play in than McNabb? Let me answer these questions for you sir. Not many.
My final question revolves around the latter part of your previously mentioned quote; the part where you said, “the rest of us get irritated.” My question is whom are you referring to when you say “the rest of us?” Are you referring to the African American community? If so why? Does McNabb not live up to the expectations of the African American community? If you say yes, do you have solid evidence to support this claim? Or are you using the term “us” to mask your own negative opinions about McNabb. Do you honestly think that by using the term “us” that millions of African American’s around the globe will rally to your sporting cause? I hate to tell you sir, but if that is the case, you are making a fool of yourself. You do not speak for every African American on sporting issues nor do you speak for them on their opinions on Donovan McNabb. The same rules apply if you are using the term “us” to refer to football fans around the nation. Many American’s like McNabb as well. If you do not believe me, call the millions of sporting goods stores that are scattered across this nation and ask the employees what the top selling football jerseys are. I guarantee McNabb is a top five seller.
But there is good news Mr. Mondesire and it has nothing to do with car insurance. As wrong as it was for you to fallaciously defame Donovan McNabb, you were correct in saying that McNabb is no Doug Williams. You were also correct in saying McNabb is no Randall Cunningham, nor is he Michael Vick. This is because McNabb is his own man. He is a man with whose preference is to stand tough in the pocket and throw a strike downfield, even if it means taking a shot in the chest or back from an opposing linebacker or lineman. Yet he is a man who, can and will scramble to make something happen when things break down. Finally, McNabb is a man who stands firm in the face of adversity, stands firm in the face of the overzealous media, and stands firm when people like Terrell Owens undermine the concept of teamwork. It is for these reasons and others that people of all colors, creeds, ages, sexes, and religions admire McNabb; and that is why he will most likely be voted into the NFL Hall of Fame once he retires.
This is also why I humbly request you stop irresponsibly dipping your civically devoted pen into the National Football League’s inkwell. Instead of using your leadership and writing skills to defame a fundamentally sound football player and human being, maybe you should sit back and take some time to enjoy what you and other civil rights leaders have worked so hard to accomplish with regards to breaking down racial barriers in every profession in this nation. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to defame McNabb. Defaming this man may ultimately lead to the destruction of something else you worked diligently to build during your lifetime – your own credibility. At this point in U.S. history, African Americans and minorities in places like Detroit, Baltimore, Houston, and Philadelphia, need credible people like you to continue to focus on what is truly important in this nation – social equality, home ownership, and economic freedom – not an NFL Quarterback. If you cannot do this maybe you, like Rush Limbaugh, should step down from your prestigious position.

Respectfully,
James Morisette

Letter to Mr. William Clay Ford Jr.

2006-05-27T06:18:00.000-07:00

Written November 25, 2005

Dear Mr. Ford,

I am writing to tell you how appropriate it was that your Detroit Lions wore black uniforms to their own funeral against the Atlanta Falcons yesterday. Your leadership’s atrocious ability to prepare its players for gridiron warfare, to call common sense plays, and to show intestinal fortitude has certainly earned them the right to feast on unemployment in the NFL. After watching the Lions get demolished on their home turf for the second year in a row, I wonder how much longer you will be able to uphold your undying loyalty towards the ensemble of mediocrity called Mariucci and Tollner.
Sir, Head Coach Steve Mariucci is the Flip Saunders of professional football, meaning he is a players/veterans coach. Mariucci fit perfectly into the San Francisco 49ers system because the team was composed mostly of battle-tested veterans. The Lions on the other hand are a team composed of highly talented but youthful, undisciplined, and inexperienced men. You have given Mariucci nearly three years to transform these young men into champions but he has failed.
During his tenure as head coach, Mariucci has compiled an overall record of 15 victories and 28 defeats. While this is much better than what Marty Morningwheg was able to accomplish as head coach of your team, Mariucci’s record, especially when having so much raw talent at nearly every position, is not acceptable. Thus, it may be time for you to relieve Mariucci of his post as Commander of Lion Forces and hire a Larry Brown type coach; a stern but respectful general who possesses the ability to teach these young men the importance of perfecting the fundamentals of professional football, and to acquire battle-tested veterans that will help the Lions succeed.
Sir, Offensive Coordinator Ted Tollner, who may be the most offensively close-minded mortal in football, should also begin finding employment elsewhere. For the second time in as many weeks, he chose to abandon running the football early in the game. Throughout the season, Tollner has abandoned successful running back Kevin Jones in order to unsuccessfully utilize his other two running backs, Shawn Bryson and Artose Pinner. For example, Jones ran the ball early and often against the Falcons with much success (4 carries/32 yards/8.0 yards per carry). But Tollner, in all his ignorance, starved his hungry sophomore phenom in favor of Bryson and Pinner. If you do not recall, Bryson was the one who lost five yards on a screen play early in the first quarter and then fumbled the ball away to the Falcons.
The Lions receiving corps, minus Scotty Vines, has also failed to live up to its potential under Tollner’s watch. Early in the year, Williams, Williams, Pollard, Rogers, and Johnson were deemed the most feared wide receiver corps in the NFL. To this point in history however, they have failed miserably. Roy Williams early first quarter tumble and subsequent Falcon interception by DeAngelo Hall; Marcus Pollard’s two dropped passes; and Mike William’s incorrect execution of his passing route leading to another Falcon interception; epitomized receiving ineptitude. Aside from Kevin Johnson and Marcus Pollard, these young men have no discipline. They have no character. They do not run routes appropriately. They drop passes that hit them in the chest. They earn a twenty yard first down but then have the football stripped away from their muscle-bound arms. They are the reason defenses put eight men in the box to stop the run. And, for both our blood pressure’s sake, it is essential we not discuss the quarterback/offensive line situation, for it is simply too root-canal painful to discuss.
The bottom line is that Tollner must go. The Lions have multiple weapons that must be utilized appropriately. They are a dynamic group of athletes who are used to making big plays, not catching five yard hooks. The Lions need an open minded offensive coordinator who will push the limits of offense, who will not be afraid to make mistakes, and who will add balance to the time of possession so the defense can earn a breather. And Tollner needs to be replaced quickly sir before these players leave your franchise in the dust and become successful players for other NFL teams.
Finally sir, Dick Jauron should definitely be spared from the wrath of NFL employment. If it were not for the Lion’s defense, the Lions would be 0-11 instead of 4-7. It was warriors like Dre’ Bly, Dan Wilkinson, R.W. McQuarters, and Boss Bailey who found a way to keep the Lions in numerous football games only to watch Tollner and his feeble offensive unit sputter quickly. As a result, Jauron and Company found itself on the field for the majority its games and subsequently lost many key players due to injury. For example, the Falcons held a 14:20 – 5:09 advantage in time of possession at the 10:31 mark of the second quarter yesterday. When a defensive unit is the field this long and fatigue sets in strange things will happen. For example, late in the first quarter, Algae Crumpler caught a short pass two yards short of the first down and was held up by R.W. McQuarters. But then all of a sudden, when the play appeared to be deceased, Boss Bailey came roaring in from the Falcons backfield and, in an attempt to tackle Crumpler, pushed him four yards forward for a first down. Then during that same Atlanta march, the Lions defense accomplished two penalties in a row, both of which occurred inside the 10 yard line. These penalties not only helped the Falcons earn a free first down, but they also set up T.J. Duckett’s one yard touchdown plunge. Then, shortly after Shawn Bryson fumbled, the huffing and puffing defense trudged right back onto the field. At that point it did not matter who the Falcons handed the ball off to. They could have handed the ball off to Stevie Wonder or Elton John and they would have run the ball well against the terribly tired Lion defense.
Mr. Ford, you have many difficult decisions to make in the next few hours/days. You have a franchise filled to the brim with unprecedented talent but, at this time in history, you have no fundamentally sound coaches possessing the ability to tap into it. Selecting coaches who possess the ability reach these young men will not be easy. But it is utterly important that both you and Mr. Millen find some quickly before the talent leaves the organization once again, and the organization suffers miserably for another decade. P.S. If you have trouble figuring out what steps need to be taken to turn the Lion’s around, perhaps you could call the Pistons front office and ask for Joe Dumars.
Very Respectfully,
James M. Morisette

Letter to Mr. Joe Dumars Regarding Detroit Lions

2006-05-27T06:17:00.000-07:00

I am writing to humbly request that you take some time out of your very busy schedule to contact Mr. William Clay Ford Jr. and help him figure out how to transform the perpetually flawed Detroit Lions football franchise into a champion.
I know this may seem to be a tall order but you as well as everyone else inside and outside Motor City limits understands that the leadership within the Lion’s organization is in dire need of guidance and direction. Mr. Ford has a General Manager who signed oodles of untapped talent but hired a coaching staff built, not for cracking the whip and instilling discipline in its youth, but for battle-tested veterans. As a result, the Lions are father to a feeble offensive scheme that oftentimes leads to defensive fatigue, frustration and late game failure; father to uptight quarterbacks and inadequately used running backs; father to beat up linemen and linebackers; father to frequent acts of screaming and stammering on the sidelines that is normally recorded and printed in local and national headlines; and father to mothers and fathers and sons and daughters heading for the exits in the third quarter of action.
In other words sir, the situation swirling around the celestial sphere that is the Detroit Lions is beyond grave and we could certainly use your assistance. You are an excellent leader and competitor with valuable team building experience. You took a struggling Pistons basketball team and, through your remarkable usage of both the NBA draft and the free agency market, turned it into one of the most successful basketball franchises in the NBA. You hired strict disciplinarian coaches like Rick Carlisle and Larry Brown to teach road-weary players like Chauncey Billups, Ben Wallace, and Rasheed Wallace the importance of fundamentals. Two years later, after the Pistons made two trips to the NBA Finals, these core players, as well as everyone else on the battle-tested Pistons team, are able to enjoy the defense first but offense close second philosophy of Flip Saunders. Consequentially, the high-powered Pistons have won nine of their first ten games.
Your basketball success has made everyone in Motown recognize that you have what it takes to turn the Lion franchise around. At the same time, everyone recognizes the fact that you are a very busy man. Thus, if you cannot accept my invitation to contact Mr. Ford, I will write a letter to Detroit Red Wing owner Mr. Mike Illitch, to see if there is anything he can do. I thank you for your time and good luck to your Pistons tonight against the Washington Wizards , and may the Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy return to Detroit in the very near future.

Happy Thanksfootballing!

2006-05-27T06:16:00.000-07:00

Written November 25, 2005

As picturesque float after picturesque float rolls slowly down Eighth Avenue, past Central Park in Manhattan New York and as millions of stuffing-filled turkeys, honey-baked hams, and spiced pumpkin pies prepare for devouring in American made ovens this Thanksgiving morn, another tradition is preparing to take center stage in Detroit Michigan. This tradition is like none other in the World. It is a tradition that has sparked the excitement of football fans since 1934 when a mortal named G.A. Richards purchased a football team in Portsmouth Ohio and deployed it to the Motor City where it became the Detroit Lions.
Since that blustery day in 1934; a day in which the first year Detroit Lions played George Halas and the World Champion Chicago Bears, football fans around the United States have looked forward to floats, feasting and football on Thanksgiving Day.
Sixty-six years later, the tradition continues as Roy Williams and the Detroit Lions host Michael Vick and the Atlanta Falcons at Ford Field in Detroit.
Although major sports media “experts” around the nation damn this game a “yawner,” local Lion and Falcon fans and followers agree that the implications of this gridiron matchup are enormous for both franchises. Both the Lions and Falcons are desperate for a victory. The Lions, with four wins and six losses, are three games behind the same franchise they first played in 1934. While winning the NFC North seems to be difficult to accomplish at this point in the season, it is crucial the Lions win today to remain in the hunt for a playoff berth.
The same thing applies to the Falcons. Although they have the opposite record of the Lions, Mora and Company have lost two straight games at home and are subsequently looking up the NFC South Division ladder at both the Carolina Panthers and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. A loss today would not fare well for the Falcons, for if they fall, their hopes of stealing a playoff berth from the Giants (7-3) and Buccaneers (7-3), would take a Ronnie Lott like hit. However, if the Falcons emerge victorious and the Denver Broncos defeat the other Thanksgiving legends – the Dallas Cowboys – in late afternoon football action, things will become a lot more interesting for the Falcons, not just for a playoff berth, but for the NFC Division title as well.
So while picturesque float after picturesque float rolls slowly down Eighth Avenue, past Central Park in Manhattan New York and as millions of stuffing-filled turkeys, honey-baked hams, and spiced pumpkin pies prepare for devouring in American made ovens this Thanksgiving morn, Lion and Falcon players and coaches at Ford Field mentally and physically prepare for perhaps the biggest game of their regular seasons to this point. So be careful not to dose off in the lazy boy after floats and feasting this Thanksgiving, for the football game between the Lions and Falcons, much like the game between the Cowboys and Broncos, is sure to be a barnburner.

Damn Vultures!

2006-05-27T06:06:00.000-07:00

Written November 22, 2005

This morning, Detroiters cruising northbound on Interstate 75 towards their respective places of unionized employment were exposed to an utterly painful but ever so familiar situation; as they drove their F-250s, Explorers, and Utility Vans past Ford Field – home of the Detroit Lions – they witnessed hundreds upon hundreds of vultures hovering over the stadium waiting to devour whatever is left of their beloved but woeful football teams’ season.
At first, a flurry of rage erupted amongst the motorists upon sight of the carcass loving birds. “Damn those vultures!” some of them screamed as they pounded their fists on the plastic hard hats and metal lunch pales resting on their passenger seats. “Why can’t those (explicative) winged rats fly to New England or Pittsburgh for once,” others screamed while changing their radio stations to avoid hearing the news about the Lions last offensively absent and penalty infested 20-7 loss to the Dallas Cowboys.
But then, shortly before road rage erupted on the highway just past Ford Field, an annual drug called Apathy set into the motorists’ bloodstreams and quickly soothed the intense pain brought on another unsuccessful football season in Detroit. And soon afterwards, the motorists were calmer than Ron Livingston (Peter Gibbons) after his hypnotism in the movie Office Space.
Thanks to Apathy, Detroiters can suppress their anger and subsequent resentment resulting from graven acts of unprofessionalism within every realm of the Lion’s organization; things like constant scapegoating and finger pointing, radio and television blaspheming, and childish on the field pushing, shoving, and yelling. Thanks to Apathy, Detroiters can laugh at the fact that the Lions have more unrealized talent than Ancient Egypt had gold and jewels. Thanks to Apathy, Detroiters can actually stomach the undying loyalty Lions owner Bill Ford Junior has for General Manager Matt Millen and for Head Coach Steve Marriucci. Last but not least, thanks to Apathy, Detroiters can see that the light at the end of November and December lies, not within the Lions, but within the consistently successful and selfless Piston basketball and Red Wing hockey teams.
But like all drugs, Apathy is beginning to wear off in Detroit. If things do not change within the Detroit Lions organization very soon, Apathy will be replaced by another drug – Anarchy. In other words, Millen and Marriucci and Company (M & M & Co.) should be like American Naval Commander’s in the Straights of Hormuz – on high alert. They had quickly better find a way to turn this season around and subsequently make the vultures hovering over Ford Field go away.
They can begin with the running game. Anna Nicole Smith could tell you that the three pronged running attack of Kevin Jones, Artose Pinner, and Shawn Bryson is not working. The trio had a combined 54 yards on 17 carries against the Cowboys on Sunday. For the season they have combined for 835 yards on 236 carries (3.5 yards per carry). Eleven NFL running backs, to include Shaun Alexander, Edgerrin James, Warrick Dunn, Tiki Barber, Ladainian Tomlinson, Willis McGahee, Reuben Droughns (former Lion), Clinton Portis, Rudi Johnson, Larry Johnson, and Thomas Jones have single-handedly accomplished what Jones, Pinner, and Bryson have accomplished as a unit. As a team, the Lions are not consistently committing to the run. They are near the bottom of the league this season in rushing attempts, rushing attempts per game, and yards per game/yards. If the Lions have any chance at turning things around, they need to use Kevin Jones as their workhorse like they successfully did last season, and then use Pinner and Bryson when Jones needs a breather. If not, opposing defenses will continue to feast on the Lions offense.
Next, M & M & Co. need to better focus on the passing game. It is interesting how successful NFL teams can be when they commit to running the ball and taking time off the clock. It is also interesting how successfully running the ball can lead to a successful aerial attack. It does not take a genius to figure this out. It is Thomas Paine Common Sense. A patient and consistent running attack loosens up the opposing defenses and opens things up for the wide receivers. Yet the Lions, in all their flashy stubbornness, fail to do this week in and week out. And M & M and Co. scratch their heads in befuddlement, wondering why opposing defenses put eight men in the box, blitzkrieg, and subsequently hammer Joey Harrington and Jeff Garcia every time they go back in the pocket to throw the football.
Speaking of creativity, where is it in the Lions offense? Why does M & M & Co insist on being stingier than the pre-epitome Scrooge? Are that they afraid to open up the offense? God forbid they chuck one down the middle of the field to Roy Williams or Charles Rogers with eight men of opposition in the box. How about a reverse? What about letting Kevin Jones sweep right, stop, and hit Mike Williams or Roy Williams in the open field? Or how about this? Let’s use Cory Schlesinger early and often like Tampa Bay does with Mike Alstott to wear down opposing defenses. Wait. Here’s a barnburner. Let’s have Harrington or Garcia (I don’t really care who because both are good quarterbacks) toss the ball to Schlesinger or Casey Fitzsimmons once or twice a game to keep defenses on their toes. Wait, never mind. These aforementioned scenarios may go against the conservative west coast offense. The bottom line is that the Lions will not succeed until M & M and Co. stops waiting to exhale like Whitney Houston, and starts unleashing offensive hell upon its opponents like Maximus (Russell Crowe) did to the Barbarians in the movie Gladiator.
On the other end of the spectrum, the Lions defense should be proud of their accomplishments. Although they have lost nearly 60 percent of their starting players, to include Boss Bailey, Dre Bly, and Fernando Bryant; R.W. McQuarters and the band-aid boys constantly finds ways to keep the Lions in the game. However, their performance has all too often been tarnished by the fact that they spend way too much time on the field. Thanks to M & M & Cos. conservative play calling, the Lions often get hammered in time of possession. For a solution to this problem, please refer to the preceding three paragraphs.
On Wednesday this week, Detroiters will cruise northbound on Interstate 75 towards their respective places of unionized employment and see those wretched vultures licking their chops while hovering over Ford Field. They are licking their chops because they, much like Detroiters, know that a Lion’s loss to Michael Vick and the Atlanta Falcons on national television on Thanksgiving Thursday will ultimately lead to rolling eyes, rolling heads, and subsequent feasting upon another failed professional football season in Motown U.S.A.